-Michael, good to see you, and thank you for coming back
to our program. -My pleasure.
-You look like a stud, and thank you so much.
I always appreciate you. [ Laughter ]
Always stylish. Always rocking something cool.
-I think a little --
I'm a little hotter every time I come, right?
A little hotter every time I come to the show.
Have you noticed that? -Oh, people --
I can feel it, you know?
It's like, people were talking about it on the Internet,
You know, I can just -- On Twitter, I was just checking.
Everyone's talking about that. So, it's just --
-Oh, wow. -It's happening.
-You get that so quick. -Well, it's real-time.
-That's actually just a picture of a mountain.
[ Laughter ]
-Is it, though? [ Laughter ]
Oh, man.
No, it actually --
It actually is just a picture of a mountain.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm not that good at pretending.
-It's all right. [ Chuckles ]
What are you talking about?
You've almost won every award in the world.
What was the biggest award you have ever won?
-Oh, my God.
You know, I'm not in your league
by any stretch of the imagination,
but when I was in high school,
I did the original comedy event in speech team,
and I got third place. -Hey!
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's what I'm talking about right there.
Did you get a trophy or anything?
-Yeah, I got like the little --
It was like a ribbon. -Hey, that's fantastic.
-There might have been a plaque involved.
-Oh, my gosh. -Yeah.
-I'm happy that you're here, because I heard this rumor.
I hope it's not true, but I heard this rumor
that you want to retire? -Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I-I just want to be able to, you know,
enjoy the prime of my life.
I'm in the prime of my life, you know?
And I just feel, like,
I've been just too harried recently.
-Yeah, so you think that if you just retire,
then you don't have to do anything?
-Well, yeah.
Like, I can just go to the Y, like I like to do,
and hang out with all the old guys at the Y...
[ Laughter ] ...in the locker room.
-Yeah. -Hang out in the sauna.
-Sure. -Shoot the --
Shoot the-- -Yeah, we got you.
Yeah, yeah, we got you. Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Now, what would inspire you to retire so young
and in the prime of your life?
I mean, you have -- -Well, for example,
last Saturday night,
I was down in a little town
called Garyville, Louisiana,
filming all night long in a swamp next to
a Marathon petroleum refinery,
and I was watching the fires explode out of the smoke stacks
and thinking, "Wow.
That's so close to where I am right now."
[ Laughter ] And then, meanwhile,
the mosquito trucks
would drive around and ruin all our takes
by making very loud noises
as they expelled toxic clouds of mosquito repellant
all over us.
And I was covered in mud and sweat,
and it was 4:00 in the morning,
and I thought, "If I never did this again,
I would be all right."
[ Laughter and applause ] I would be all right.
-Yeah, that's bad.
-All in the service of a movie that I doubt anyone will see.
-Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm happy to say that you are not retiring.
You are, in fact, on Broadway,
and it's Terrence McNally's "Frankie and Johnny."
Is that Audra McDonald --
-Look at these guns! -Look at these --
Look at those guns, right there. -That's not just a mountain.
[ Laughter ]
-That's not just a mountain. Yeah, fantastic.
Well, you've done many plays
on Broadway and off Broadway.
Do you have any rituals
or any things that you do before the show?
-I have a little record player.
One of them little Crosley record players that I bring.
I put it in the room --
-Sure, I have one of those guys. Yeah, that works.
-I put on, like, you know,
my old Chipmunks records and stuff --
"Alvin and The Chipmunks Sing the Beatles."
That always gets my heart rate down.
-And then Alvin forgets his harmonica.
And then Dave ruins the take by yelling at him
while the tape is still rolling. [ Both laugh ]
-I like to play with the speed on the record,
with the Chipmunks record. -Oh, interesting.
So, you buy it on a 33 and then --
I mean, buy it on a 45 and play it slower?
-It's funny, speeding it up or slowing it down.
It's funny either way. -Yeah.
It'd be really interesting to hear them slow it down.
-Yeah, really slow -- -'Cause of how deep
Dave's voice would get. -Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
I'm impressed that you know the names.
-David Seville? You have Alvin.
You have Theodore, and you have Simon.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Do you have any of the, like, you know, paraphernalia?
-Drug paraphernalia?
Yeah, I have a bong -- The Chipmunk bong.
I have a Chipmunk big deal, yeah.
[ Laughter ] -A bed spread or...
-Well, I have a pair of onesies.
-A pair of onesies.
[ Laughter ] -Yes.
So, in case a buddy comes over
and wants to watch "Game of Thrones"...
-You want to dress up with me?
-Guys are over to watch "Game of Thrones,"
"Want to get cozy or what?"
Yeah, I got a pair --
"I got another one of these if you want" --
-That's awesome. -If you want to go all the way,
you know what I'm talking about?
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. -You're back on Broadway.
Here you go. This is unbelievable.
-Back on Broadway. -Back on Broadway --
-I'm with this woman right here, Audra McDonald.
-Audra McDonald is world class. -She's legendary.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Ah, one of our favorites.
She's been on the show a bunch of times.
-Yeah. No -- Oh.
-What, no. I thought you wanted to hold me.
-No, no, no. I was just gesturing.
-Oh, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-So, he held it. Do you mind?
Tell me what the -- [ Laughter ]
What is "Frankie and Johnny" about,
is what I was gonna say. -It's a love story.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it's --
She's a waitress, and I am a cook.
I don't know if that's apparent from the picture.
[ Light laughter ] -No.
-I don't have my bandana on.
-You're not even holding --
You're not holding a knife or anything.
-No, but we work at a restaurant together,
and we go out on a date, and then --
It's, basically, about the evening
we spend together after this date.
-And people just -- They love it.
I mean, I've seen the movie
with Michelle Pfeiffer and Al Pacino.
-You went to see the movie
with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer?
-We went to see a movie --
"Chipmunks: The Squeakquel." [ Laughter ]
You ever seen it?
It's funny, man. -No.
-Yeah, I went with Michelle Pfeiffer and Al Pacino.
They were like, [As Pacino] "Jimmy, what are you doing?"
[ Normal voice ] I was like, "Michelle,
why is your voice so hoarse?"
[ Laughter ]
But I can't wait to see it.
I'm going to go check you out in this play,
because you're one of my favorites.
You guys, Michael Shannon.
"Frankie and Johnny" --
It opens on Broadway
May 30th!
Go see this play.