I hate Krabby Patties.
[laughing] Good one, Squidward.
You know what we say.
[everyone] The only people who don't like
the Krabby Patty, have never tasted one!
That's me. Never had one, never will.
No wonder you're always so miserable!
Here, try this.
Try one of those radioactive sludge-balls you call food?
But it's good for you.
Good for you?! That thing is a heart attack on a bun!
No, Squidward, I meant... good for your soul.
[music playing]
Oh, puh-lease! I have no soul!
[laughing]
- You won't be sorry. - No!
It's delicious.
Listen, SpongeBob,
how long are you prepared to keep this up?
Give me that! When I die... you stay away from my funeral.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[music playing]
Why... this Krabby Patty may be the most...
Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared!
Vile! Unappetizing!
Disgusting excuse for a sandwich,
it has ever been my displeasure
to have slithered down my throat!
And I curse this Krabby Patty
to an early and well-deserved grave!
Get it?
But, it doesn't make any sense.
The Krabby Patty is an absolute good.
Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.
Nobody but me.
Are you sure?
Does this look unsure to you?
No.
Good! Now go spread the word!
[grunting]
Come on! Come on! Come on! Still alive!
Oh, so delicious!
All the wasted years! I gotta have more.
But wait.
After that performance, he'd never let me live it down.
I gotta sneak one. Just one, then...
I'm off the stuff for good!
- SpongeBob. - Yes, Squidward.
I need a Triple Krabby Supreme on a kelp bun,
with━ with extra sea pickle
and, and burn it to a crisp, okay?
Coming right up!
Listen, Squidward. I want to apologize for before.
I was only trying to make you happy.
But I was trying to make myself happy,
but now I've learned there's room
for all kinds of people in this crazy old...
[groaning]
and they all don't have to like the same things.
[kissing]
Don't go.
Triple Krabby Supreme! Triple Krabby Supreme!
Did somebody order a Triple Krabby Supreme?!
Huh, they must've left.
Well, uh, why don't you just, uh, leave it out here,
in case they come back?
Nope, a patty this special should be eaten fresh,
and... well... I haven't had one of these babies
in over 20 minutes, so...
[gasping]
Mm, mm.
Well, whoever they were, they had great taste.
[groaning]
Ahh, they don't know what they're missing.
Well, back to work!
[crying]
[knocking]
Ah!
[music playing]
Mm, honey. But?
Oh! I have got to get my hands on a Krabby Patty!
And no one's gonna stop me!
There it is.
[music playing]
Holy shrimp! I don't know where to start.
All that matters is that it's just you... and me...
and nobody--
Squidward? Is that you?
SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here?
I always come to work at 3:00 A.M.
What are you doing here?
Uhh, I forgot my, uh--
And why is the patty vault open?
Oh, I thought that, uh--
And why are you holding a patty behind your back?
I- I- I- no, I didn't do...
And why are you acting so nervous?
And why are you sweating so much?
And why do you look so hungry? And--
No, no, wait... it's not what you think.
Th-this is a big misunderstanding.
You've got to believe me, I...
Listen, I am telling you...
You better listen to me, SpongeBob!
You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward?
Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob! I love Krabby Patties!
Squidward, you can't eat all those patties at one time!
Squidward!
What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?
No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs...
My thighs?
...and then you'll blow up!
[sirens blaring]
Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.