- This video is gonna show you how to let go
and finally move on.
It was the heartbreak advice that I wish I knew earlier
in my life that would make things so much easier,
and that would also save me so much time,
because it took me a lot of time and a lot of experience
in order to learn this.
There's a hard way to learn it,
and it was somewhat of an easier way to learn it,
and that's because of awareness.
Now, first off,
there's a quote that explains this beautifully.
It's from Sufi Rumi and it says this, it says, quote,
"You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens,"
end quote.
And this is such a powerful quote when I first read it,
and it's still a powerful quote now that I've read it.
But basically, the more we break our heart,
not that we're gonna go out and try to break our heart,
but what happens is from heartbreak,
you are able to open up your heart more and more,
have more and more unconditional love,
and really let go of the boundaries
and the blocks that we put around our heart,
and we don't even know it,
because sometimes what we're doing
by avoiding the heartbreak
and by avoiding feeling the emotions that come up
is we're not letting the transformation happen,
we're not letting ourselves feel the energy
that comes up from the rejection,
the abandonment that we may feel from an actual heartbreak.
So one thing we wanna become aware of this
is this one piece of awareness right here I think
will completely change the perspective
of the whole thing if you really sit with it,
and that is that everything in life has no meaning
other than the meaning we give it.
There is a story that we tell ourselves about our ex,
there's a story that we tell ourselves about ourself
and our relationship that is on autopilot.
And if the story is that the ex
was the one shot at love,
that the ex is the person
that you were supposed to make it work with,
then guess what?
That person's on a pedestal.
And what's really on the pedestal is the story
that you tell yourself about them.
That's really what it's about.
Now, sometimes what happens is people will, after a breakup,
they may start focusing on themselves,
they may start focusing on their own lives
and like their friends,
and they might start focusing on other things in their life,
and that helps them move on,
because what they've done is they've taken the attention
and the power away from it being all on the story
about their ex and their one shot at love,
they start putting it into another factor of their life,
and then you know what they find?
They find that they create meaning there.
So really, what happens when it comes to heartbreak advice
and just in general letting someone go is, really,
what you're doing is you're taking the meaning
that you gave so much emphasis
and meaning to in a relationship
and you're investing that back in yourself.
The fear that you will not meet somebody else
that you have a deep meaning with, really, what that is,
is you're afraid that you're never gonna be able
to create meaning again.
That's really what it is.
I will not be able to find deep meaning with anybody else
because my shot was with this one person, which of course,
from the outside, looking in, feels a little bit ridiculous.
You probably look at a friend and you're like,
"Oh, there's so many people out there," but in their mind,
their story is so strong
that it's really hard for them to let that go.
And really, what's hard to let go is not the person,
by the way, it's the story about the person,
it's the meaning given to the person.
Because sometimes and many times what happens
is we recreate similar childhood dynamics
of things that happened when we're a kid,
we recreate that with our partners
and the people that we're dating,
and if they reject us,
it feels like we're getting rejected like we did
when we were a kid.
So if you had a parent that was emotionally
or physically abandoning,
there was these beliefs and thoughts that came up,
these meanings that came and said,
"Oh, there's something wrong with me.
I must not be worthy."
And then what happens is you might be in a relationship now,
and what happens is things fall through
and there's a fighting for your own sense of worthiness.
There's a fighting like, no, please don't,
it's because we don't want to recreate
the same childhood dynamics that happened when we were kids.
So it's about really being aware with,
"Is it really about this person,
or am I fighting for a similar childhood dynamic
that felt familiar?"
Because we familiarize energies
from when we were kids that felt familiar,
we normalize it within ourself.
That's what we think love is.
And then we're afraid of being abandoned or rejected,
not knowing that that actually feels familiar,
and that's why you're attracted to begin with.
So this is really about letting this heartbreak
or whatever you're going through right now,
let yourself sit with the emotions and let yourself feel it,
and know that as you're feeling it, you're healing it.
As you're feeling it, you're becoming aware of all of this
and you're able to then allow that energy to flow.
Because when we resist the heartbreak,
we're resisting being rejected or abandoned
like we felt like when we were kids.
We're putting our personal growth
and we're putting our own evolution of our relationship
and the way we relate to other people on the back burner.
And it's like we're avoiding it.
So instead of feeling it, we may do a couple of things.
We may try to go back to our ex
and recreate that same familiar childhood dynamic.
We might go sleep with other people
because that numbs the pain for a while.
We may stay in the story for a long time
and vent about it and not let them go,
and then vent to our friends and family
for a very long time.
These are all mechanisms that we may use
to avoid the heartbreak,
but realizing that the heartbreak
is the key to opening our hearts,
that changes everything,
because then we're changing the meaning
to the heartbreak itself.
You see, all this has zero built in meaning,
other than the meaning we give it, as I mentioned earlier.
And looking at the heartbreak,
listening to someone like Sufi Rumi, poet, Rumi,
and realizing that you keep breaking your heart
until it opens, what that allows you to do,
it allows you to then change and apply that meaning
so that you can really transform
to really allow that love in, in a powerful way.
So this is really about having that level
of awareness within yourself of that energy.
So, this is about,
and I even look to my own life with this.
My own life, one of the most challenging things
I've ever been through in my life,
hands down, is heartbreak,
and that heartbreak meant to me
that there's something wrong with me,
that I'm not worthy of being loved.
I literally thought that was like my one shot.
And what I was really trying to do is I was trying to prove
to this other person that I'm enough.
Please choose me and prove to me I'm enough.
And the game changer for me was actually one day
when I was actually doing something called plant medicine
with my buddy Victor,
and it was bringing up some stuff for me.
And I realized in this moment
that what I thought was, in my ex,
that was so hard for me to let go of,
was actually a very similar energy
to what I experienced in childhood with my mom.
It went all the way back to my mom,
where I felt like there was a version
of not having my needs met.
And it's just normal.
We don't need to normalize it,
but we can realize that it's,
what I realized is it wasn't my fault.
That's what I realized.
I realized it wasn't my fault
that mom or dad wasn't physically meeting my needs as a kid.
And where I thought with my ex, for example,
is I thought that I wasn't able to meet her needs,
or I wasn't enough because she didn't choose me.
What ended up happening is I internalized that and said,
"See, I'm not enough.
There's something wrong with me."
The game changer was when I realized
that that was the same childhood energy,
and I realized that it wasn't my fault.
And then even then,
it's not that I'm putting blame on them
and saying it's their fault,
but what I realized is I don't need to internalize
and think there's something wrong with me.
There's nothing wrong with me.
It's a neutral thing.
It just didn't work out.
Just like when I was a kid with my mom or my dad,
not feeling like my needs were met, it wasn't my fault.
It wasn't like I'd internalize that
like there's something wrong with me.
If I was a little bit more, it wouldn't have happened.
Instead, I was able to realize, oh, it wasn't my fault.
Not that it's their fault,
but that that was their stuff, not mine.
It was their stuff,
and they may have had that stuff from their parents.
It was more of a pattern than anything else.
And that's what I realized with my heartbreaks in my life,
is I was trying to prove to them that I'm good enough.
I was trying to prove to them in a way something
that I could only really understand or realize myself.
And when I let myself look at that energy
and that awareness,
that's when my life really began to change,
because what I was really able to do
was stop internalizing shame.
And remember this, too.
The key to curing the heartbreak
is actually opening your heart and having vulnerability.
And we do these things in our life
to hide our own sense of vulnerability.
I was hiding my own vulnerability by like being a nice guy,
or a people pleaser,
trying to get other people to like me,
losing my center of gravity.
It was very hard for me to set boundaries.
These were all mechanisms I was using
to avoid showing the real me.
But then what happened
is I began to actually express the real me,
I began to actually open my heart when I was dating.
I began to actually show the real me
and it changed everything.
And any of you can do that by making the choice
to look at this heartbreak, to feel what comes up,
but then to realize what is this energy
and is it similar energy from childhood?
And maybe that is what the addiction is.
Maybe that's what the attachment is.
It's really attachment.
And we are attached to similar energies as kids.
And until we become aware of it,
we live within the autopilot mind
and the autopilot energy of it.
But what changes everything is when we look at that meaning
and we decide to give it new meaning,
we realize that mom and dad divorced when you were a kid,
mom leaving, dad leaving,
them physically not meeting your needs,
emotionally abandon you.
Whatever it was, that was their stuff, not yours.
It's not 'cause you're not worthy.
And then as you realize that
it's not because you're not worthy,
you realize you are worthy.
It's really about, by the way,
letting go of the belief that you're not worthy,
and then you'll naturally just feel worthy.
I realized, wait, I am worthy of love.
I am worthy.
Like somebody that feels worthy would not choose somebody
that doesn't like them,
or that isn't emotionally there for them.
So becoming aware,
then it's about having a sense of worthiness.
It's like, oh, I'm worthy of love
and I date people who choose me.
It's a completely different energy
once you become aware of it.
And like I said, there's no blame or anything
on any of this.
It's awareness, that's it.
and the more aware you become,
the more you're able to actually heal.
And the more that then what happens
is you're able to open up your heart,
because the key to attracting love, by the way,
and the key to moving on is opening up your heart.
It's letting go of the old story.
And it's also investing your energy
and your meaning back into you.
Because a lot of times what happens
is people project their energy at their ex,
and they can feel that.
Energy, we are set, we're all connected,
we're all one consciousness.
When we think about someone,
we're literally projecting energy at them,
and when you project energy at somebody else,
it makes them run,
because the energy that's going out to them
is needy energy, too.
It's like, I want you to do something differently
than what you're doing.
There's resistance there.
Pull your energy back.
And really, what that means is take back the meaning
and put it into yourself.
I've seen so many people
that are hung up on their ex,
they're hung up and it's hard for them to let go,
and then what they do
is they start putting the energy back within themselves.
They have fun with friends.
They focus on their purpose.
They get back into the gym.
They start doing things for them.
And then what happens is they're pulling their energy back,
and then all of a sudden love comes into their life,
that person might come back,
but you gotta really understand is
what is actually serving you?
Becoming aware of all of these different things.
So, with this,
it's really about power and understanding
that that power's already within you.
Now, there is something below.
If you want me to send you a text and my top epiphanies,
my top insights, two or three times a week,
you can text me at 424-304-0104, or click the link below.
Those are where I send my top,
you can also ask me questions and I'll be either replying
or putting them into YouTube videos.
And that's a way of staying connected a couple times a week.
And then one of the most powerful videos I have
is to how to let them miss you, how to let go,
and how to trust that the universe will figure it all out.
It's one of my most powerful videos.
Watch this right now to really wire it in.
When we're attached,
what we do is we create resistance,
and this resistance is dependent
on how someone else is responding
or not responding to our own energy.
Now, one of the most attractive things you can do
is to actually.