♪ Now let me see that booty work, booty work ♪
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
♪ Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek ♪
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
♪ Show off, boom ♪
♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪
HG.
Huh. But what does it stand for?
Holy grail!
Stomp the premsses! I got a hot scoomp!
But I'll have to go undercover.
[ Doors whirring ]
I'm just a regular Hayley.
My hat's in the Dumpster.
Okay...
Did you need to sign up for a class?
'Cause she's about to start.
Who she? Holly?
HG? The Queen of Dance Cardio?
Hello? Hello.
We specialize in The Holly Method,
the only technique proven to make you a new you.
The first class is free.
We will need a credit card, though.
The class itself is free.
What you get from the class costs $500.
That's too high of a money!
This is an expensive gym where people have good butts.
I don't think that's a story. Damn.
Woman: You look lost.
Well, you look...
♪♪
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
You reek of weed.
It's the middle of the day.
It's Wednesday.
Do you have any thoughts on that?
It's not spelled how it sounds?
You're lost. I just said so myself.
But I can help.
You need someone to tell you what to do.
You need me.
Yes.
Yes, what? Yes, Mommy.
You did it.
You said the right answer.
♪ Booty work, booty work ♪ [ Women cheering ]
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
[ Up-tempo music playing ]
We gotta confuse the muscles to get results.
When I say leg, I mean bicep.
Just follow me.
I am in charge of your body now.
Gimme an amen.
All: Amen!
Good.
Sip some agua, grab some protein,
get those bank routing numbers to Lindsay,
and let's get back out there.
[ Cheering and squealing ]
Oh, hey, Hayley.
How's journalism class going?
Mom, I dropped that class months ago.
I am a one-class-at-a-time kind of person.
And right now, it's five workout classes a day,
seven days a week.
But only one class at a time.
[ Chuckles ] That's a physical limitation I have.
Can't be in two classes at once.
And I would if I could, and HG knows that.
She gets that I'm dedicated.
She hasn't said it, but sometimes I can feel
her eyes graze over me,
and I feel oceans of approval and love.
One day, I am gonna get a DMT.
That stands for Distressed Muscle Tank.
The DMTs get to work out next to HG.
I just gotta put in the time, keep getting better.
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress with ice and rest up for later.
So, Hayley's in a cult.
Yeah, an exercise cult.
No. It's a real cult, Roger.
Like Jonestown with ankle weights.
And I should know.
I've been in more cults than anyone.
Remind me?
[ Doorbell rings ] Stan: Francine!
Is that The Scrapbook I hear?
I don't have my keys!
I left them in the car when I rolled out of it!
Scrapbook! Scrapbook?
[ Siren wailing ] Oh, shit!
Scrapbook! Yay!
Oh, wow. Remember this?
I liked wearing all the red and orange clothes.
Oh, this was this vegan one.
We ate so much spelt.
Some people had a lot of sex with the guy.
Those cupcakes ended up being poisoned.
Still have those Nikes somewhere.
Honey, you might fall for cults, but let's be real --
cults also fall for you.
Frann-ay! [ Chuckles ]
Always skyrocketing right into the inner circle.
True.
I'm either a right-hand man or a high-up wife.
Oh, God, and there's me on the altar.
You were gonna sacrifice me.
But then the knife broke!
[ Laughter ]
Ah! That was fun. I needed that.
But I gotta get back to it.
Same.
Yeah, it's a big time of year for me.
You've been in a lot of cults. I remember now.
Yeah, cults are really fun,
but I have a sixth-sense about when the fun is over.
You know, when there's gonna be a FBI raid
or mass soo-ey, or blend up beavers
and put it in the town's water supply.
Cool.
How and why did we get into this convo again?
Hayley is in a cult. Riiight.
You gonna help her get out?
I'm not helping her.
She's gotta get out by herself because --
Benevolent Neglect!
Speaking of which, you know what I neglect sometimes?
My own needs.
That's not a joke. It's something sad.