hi guys welcome back to my channel today I have Amanda jus son
hahaha I asked Amanda to come here because she has been such a huge help
for me with maxi sleep as you guys know maxi is one year old now but we work
together when he was 8 months yeah yes so I went through months of
just like not sleeping we had a night nurse and it just became so ridiculous
because I sneaked train my other to Jacobs bed I kind of missed the mark on
straining maxi so it became really really difficult
I googled who can help me and Amanda's name came up it was a really nice
experience really hands-on I just felt like it would be such a great gift for
other new moms out there you hear about Amanda's process and the steps are kind
enough to share her approach to sleep training your baby now maxi is mostly
sleeping through the night it's been in my opinion your success and changed the
course of her lives because Amanda you tell everything oh okay so I mean the
the first big thing I think that it's the most important part is that you have
to have an earlier bedtime for a baby a baby needs a lot of sleep so depending
on the age of your child your child needs anywhere from 14 to 20 hours of
sleep depending on their age so that's a lot more sleep than you and I haha start
with an earlier bedtime anywhere between 6 & 8 p.m. is idea
for most kids yeah I do find that there's moms that because they want to
sleep a little longer in the morning they'll push the bedtime
yes so I feel like that's creates a problem that your kids will probably
have just a biological clock it doesn't matter what you do so what you want to
do is you kind of want to work for that backwards right so if they're getting up
at around 6:00 or 7:00 every day and you've done everything to kind of move
that then I would start from there and be like okay how to get them there 10 to
12 hours from that point and then that's where you have to hear bedtime sometimes
for some babies if they're so overtired they've been going to bed so late moving
their bedtime earlier will get you a later bedtime because they'll be paying
back some of that sleep done that they've accrued it's totally
counterintuitive but sometimes that's interesting what's next so then we want
to make sure that we want a good bedtime routine you know a series of activities
that happen before bed and have it all the time and consistently so that when
these activities happen your child says oh okay sleep is next so it becomes like
an outside body cue great examples might be bath bottle bookends stories massage
and bed and one of the things has to be a little bit tricky for a lot of parents
it's that bottle or breastfeeding happens at the very end of the routine
and then maybe gets a little bit because you know having the bottle and
breastfeeding is really calming nice you say okay I'm gonna go to bed and then
that's how they fall asleep the tricky thing about that is nobody actually
sleeps tonight so you and I wake up probably between five and eight times at
night we know how to sleep on around so we kind of go over to the side and go
back to bed but your child if they're falling asleep on the boob or the bottle
or rocking or chuffing you're petting whatever the case is they will wake up
and say oh I need that to go back to sleep
because they don't know how so making sure that that that bottle or boob is in
the routine but not the very last thing I used to do with Max I'm with all of
them actually I would give them a bottle and they'll fall asleep and when they
don't know how to suit themselves and some babies honestly I do have friends
that their kids yeah like they just get it yeah they just sleep overnight and
it's amazing they can suit themselves back to sleep that's great but most I
feel can't mine couldn't when I kind of got them used to you know this is the
bottle the milk is what puts you back to sleep and that's what suits you it was
really difficult for me because but then it becomes a routine and then every time
they wake up at night you have to go there with the bottle so that was
definitely the best thing I've learned the next thing then after that you know
you've removed their bottle you're going down on their own now we have to make
sure that every sleep situation looks exactly the same this is where you get
into tricky business so some people will say you know your naps and your night
time are two different things or two different kinds of sleep so you can
treat them we don't have any melatonin production
so at night as soon as it gets a little bit dark nature's own little like
sleeping pill come to it which is like melatonin and when you can go to sleep
when we feel nice and comfy sometimes for a lot of people the nighttime sleep
is a lot easier during the daytime we have zero zilch melatonin and we are
fighting a beat so I remember with Max he had mastered the hardest part yeah
and they were the hardest part for everybody and so we are dealing with a
little bit of a different beast however in order to make the naps better every
sleep situation means silicon see your babies are really smart
yeah so they'll say okay I'm being fed to sleep during the day but I'm not
being fed to sleep at night and so this great night sleep that is happening will
start to deteriorate because at some point your baby will be smart enough to
say no I want what's happening during the day I want that at night yes do you
need consistency you need your baby sleeping in the exact same location
during the days at night and you also need to make sure that you're not
feeding rocking bouncing shushing driving all of those situations need to
look identical I think that for me though we're not rocking we're not
bouncing but we're doing this show show should then leave the room the end of
the day just want to create a routine that works for you the baby will adjust
yeah but it's you that kind of does the work so what people think about
consistency is they think oh yeah bedtime needs to be the same yeah well
what I mean about consistency is that going back to every sleep situation
needs to look the same and this is what often happens and I think we had
our thing with Maxie your first three days I call them like a little bit of a
honeymoon period your first day and night of sleep training is going to be
crappy then your second day is gonna be way better and then your third day is
even better in York really great we're done
it's over but then on the fourth day your baby says no I'm not gonna sleep
tonight I'm gonna wake up I'm gonna do all these things
my clients will be like oh god what do we do and it's like the same thing you
did on this day yeah what your child is doing is it retesting those boundaries
on that fourth day so you have to be consistent in that have that plan with
your partner sit down and be like okay when you do this we do this and do that
by the way in the light of day because nobody makes good decisions at 3:00 or
4:00 in the morning ha ha when your child we say I'm gonna take away that
bottle I'm gonna take away this thing that's very comforting they will cry and
then this is usually where people are like I don't know what's right what's
wrong essentially you can always respond your child you can sit with them leave
for a bit check on them I'm not a huge fan of any sort of like leaving them
until the morning strategy and there's no judgement involved in that my only
concern is that parents can't do it so yeah house cries for longer than they
suspected yeah they don't feel like they have a plan to go back in and then what
ends up happening is they're like that's it letting them cry tonight we're never
going back in then they sit on the couch and they're like oh this is bad I go in
to help and I help them to sleep again if we let our child cry cry cry cry cry
and then help them to sleep that's worse than just initially telling
them to sleep I'm not saying crying out is bad I'm
saying have a plan for when you feel like you need to check on your child and
your child can cry for a while longer than you suspect
talk with your partner have a plan when they cry for this long you're going in
or I'm gonna stay right beside them until they're done yeah either way is
fine and you're gonna do that until they sleep and you're going to
that every single sleep situation naps and later would Jacob then we did the
cry dog method and they actually both were pretty easy also because I did it
before there were six months so they couldn't get up which wakes them up more
so they cried a little bit I think it was literally 15 minutes oh that's nice
and then the next day it was five minutes and then yeah so I was it was
very easy for me sure that in a situation where they were cry for three
hours yeah I don't know it's continued with this quiet out exact to me it
worked well with Jacob and that's kind of my recommendation for moms out there
if you can sleep trained before 6 months yes from my experience that book works
with Maxie again he was already you know getting up and moving and screaming and
with Amanda we did like every 7 minutes or so so he kind of got used to you know
he'll cry and I'll come in and I'll just put him back to sleep give him a kiss
and leave again and at first it was really hard because obviously he's
expecting something so he would start crying even harder yeah eventually what
I thought happened that those seven minutes he stretched him a little bit
more cuz you pull so start hearing that's not crying it's the Arabs whiny
and then they were like okay we got it that's when they're like kind of giving
up slowly and accepting reality so find that that worked for us but there were
times where it was even shorter than seven minutes yeah guys he was just
screaming his head off people will often ask me and I'm sure you get this a lot
like what do you do what's the one thing every child is different
so that's see we said seven minutes yeah your childhood might be five minutes it
might be fifteen minutes I'm in this tricky position of being like an expert
in telling people what to do but I actually want to empower people to trust
their instincts about what their child needs
if your child is freaking out and I call those like skin crawling moments
your kid is doing something that doesn't feel right then you go in and check on
them yeah but if you're sitting on the couch and
you're like yeah I know I mean yeah then I don't think that you need to go in
there because the clock is tickin ya know what I mean - yeah hundred percent
intuition is key I think that at the end of the day I'm trying to benefit my
child obviously I want to sleep - but he needs that sleep think about the big
picture something for me that really affected me when I was with Jake my
first is looking up cried out method it was this whole movement of being like
you gonna scar your child for life it's a big statement without having enough
details so it's like I mentioned right I left him for 15 minutes and then he fell
asleep yeah so he's pretty good he's pretty balanced he's pretty good
emotionally but it scared me so much it made me doubt myself even more where I
wish there was information out there where they're talking about a cry dog
method or any other method there's all these variations and scenarios of course
you don't want to let your child cry for 7 hours but 15 minutes he'll be ok after
you notice that it's important to know is that number 1 crying isn't
necessarily a bad thing and it's always usually accompanied by
some sort of skill development nobody's saying leave your child you can
always attend to your child while they're crying
people will think there's like cry based methods yeah and then there's no pride
method I'm just not choosing the no cry methods yeah I like children crying no
your child is crying cuz they're learning something new you can't have a
no cry feel building yes can't it's frustrating sleep training is
it's been studied and studied if the results have been realized it's still
safe so when I worked with Amanda we follow that plan we logged everything in
that was really helpful it was very clear it steps to follow so I'm super
grateful for that Mack sleeps most days he speaks through the night
unless he's safe up there something going on in the house because with
weekends there's always something going on yeah that's a really good point too
it's just like 100% and I think that's the rule with carrots they never get to
do anything just have a plan but things are changing all the time just because
these little humans develop every single day so I think it's just a natural you
know way of life we've been really happy with results and if you guys need any
extra help but man that was very kind to share all this information and know this
is definitely your business you can find everything about me @ww baby's bed sleep
calm I hope this was very helpful for all the mothers out there all the
parents out there and truly hope this video helped all the mothers out there
to hopefully get a little more sleep for more tips from a mom click here