Disclaimer (pause to read):
Resource People!
As people, we have a nasty habit
of not recognizing the resources that are all around us.
As a result of this,
we can't experience the benefit they offer us
and we end up in an unnecessary sense of lack.
And this is especially true
for the other people around us.
For the sake of this conversation
let's say that a resource
is something that can be drawn on when wanted or needed.
Especially, to enhance your well-being.
When we resource something,
what this means is that we recognize
what it is that is a value
that we want or need,
and then we actively draw upon it
and use it or take it in.
Fully experiencing,
which is seeing, hearing, feeling and receiving
its full benefit.
Every person holds within themselves
a powerful resource,
or many.
This means that every single person walking this earth
including you,
is a powerful resource.
It's my promise that if you come to realize this,
the world will suddenly feel prosperous
and completely abundant to you.
And it must be said,
that different people
hold very different resources within themselves.
And what this means,
is that different people and therefore different relationships
provide very different things.
For example, one person and therefore relationship
might not be a resource
for communication, information or advice
but they might be an incredible resource
for adventure, fun and joint experiences.
One person, and therefore relationship,
might be a powerful resource
for honesty and understanding,
but not a resource for dependability or encouragement.
One person, and therefore relationship,
might be a resource for physical affection,
another might be a resource for security,
another might be a resource for information on a specific topic,
another might be a resource
for mutual enjoyment of similar interests,
another might be a resource for a helping hand,
another might be a resource for contacts,
another might be a resource for new ideas,
another might be a resource for emotional availability,
another might be a resource
for being pushed toward personal growth,
another might be a resource for good food,
another might be a resource for acceptance,
another might be a resource for entertainment.
Every single person is a resource for something.
The question is:
can you recognize that resource within them?
And can you recognize the value of it
regardless of whether that resource
is something you want and need?
When we get into trouble with resourcing others,
it really boils down to two basic problems;
The first problem is that we refuse to accept
that every single person
is a powerful resource
for something that is potentially very valuable to us.
Because of this,
we limit ourselves socially
and therefore limit our access
to the resources that are within other people,
and as a result we end up in an unnecessary state of lack,
and super angry at all the limited people in our life
that are providing us everything we need.
#2.
We try to meet our needs or get what we want
by drawing specific things
from individuals in our life
that don't actually contain
or have that specific resource
to offer in the first place.
And as a result, we end up
in an unnecessary state of lack
and yet again,
super angry at the people in our life.
Here are a couple examples of this:
Maggie does not really like Hector.
She doesn't like anything about his personality,
he's rather cold and practical and distant.
Honestly, she doesn't think
that Hector has anything to really offer her life
and she would be happier
if she could just cut the relationship off altogether.
The problem is that Maggie is not really looking at anything
except for what hector lacks.
She's not really looking
at what resources he has within him
and at his strengths.
What Maggie has missed
is that hector is incredibly analytical.
Which is interesting,
because Maggie has all kinds of problems in her life.
Hector is the person in her life
that could perhaps help her most,
by making an unbiased assessment of these problems,
looking at all the different angles of these problems
and then offering very effective, efficient and logical solutions
for each one of them.
She would definitely feel better towards him
if she recognized that Hector could be the one
that could tell her how to get out of the situations
that have been causing her to suffer for so many years.
Not just be warm and sympathetic that she is in them.
Also, she could go to someone else
for the warmth and sympathy that she is needing.
But because Maggie absolutely refuses
to recognize this resource within Hector
who is already in her life,
she just spends her time feeling super angry
that nobody can tell her
how to get out of the intolerable weight
of all the problems in her life.
Hector is a homosexual man.
He grew up with 11 siblings.
What we can say about his life experience
is that he never felt like his existence mattered at all.
He has been desperate for relationship security
and to feel like he's important,
and for availability,
and to be prioritized
for as long as he can remember.
Currently, Hector is fixated on Max
as being the one who is going to provide these things for him.
The problem is,
Max is a heterosexual man
who has a nasty little tendency
to drop every relationship in his life,
the second he gets into a romantic relationship with a woman.
Max is not actually a reliable source
for the security, availability and prioritization
that Hector is looking for.
It just so happens that it seems like it
because he's single right now.
But when Max found another woman to be in a romantic relationship with,
suddenly, he stopped being available to
and stopped prioritizing Hector.
Causing hector to be re-traumatized.
And Hector is now drowning in this sense of lack.
Not only that, he's absolutely furious at Max
and is desperately trying to get those resources back from Max
that he has lost.
He's furious that Max is no longer providing
that security and that prioritization and that availability
that he seemed to be providing before.
Outside of just lacking the awareness
of the resources that are all around us
within other people,
there are actually quite a few reasons
why you might have resistance to recognizing these resources
or resourcing them.
We're going to look at just a few of them;
In human culture today so many people believe
that it is straight up wrong
to use somebody else for your benefit.
This is why we have such an issue asking other people for help.
We tend to worry
that asking people for what we need and want, is using them.
But it isn't using people that's the the problem.
We use each other every single day.
And guess what?
People want the resources they hold
to be recognized for their value,
and people want those resources to be used.
What they don't want
is for you to use them as a resource to their own detriment.
And when we say "I feel used",
this is what we mean.
We don't mean that someone sees our value
and is positively resourcing us,
we mean that they don't really care about our well-being
and are simply taking advantage of us.
But using people and creating a mutually beneficial symbiosis
does not have to be a contradiction in terms.
And using someone and loving someone
also does not have to be a contradiction in terms.
If you want to understand more about this in depth,
watch my video titled:
Using People (Ask Teal Episode About Interdependence)
Another reason that we may have an issue
recognizing a resource within somebody
and or resourcing it,
is that it forces us to expand into 'And Consciousness'.
Also,
it forces us
to become closer to things
that we wanna push away from ourselves, instead.
As people, we love to see things in black and white.
We feel like seeing things in a black and white way
makes us more safe.
But the reality is not black and white.
The reality is rather gray.
The reality is
we can have so many valuable resources
within a person
side by side with aspects
that cause other people so much pain.
For example:
we may have had a parent
that was so painful to us in our childhood
that we wanna write them off as all bad
and as having no value or resource within them.
But the reality is that
while they may not be a resource for love or connection,
they may be a powerful resource
for information on a specific subject
or financial abundance.
If you walk down a jailhouse corridor
every person you pass is a well
of powerfully valuable resources.
From skills, to knowledge,
to abilities, to talents,
to character traits.
You may have resistance to seeing this,
because it scares you to stop seeing them as all bad.
Another reason that you might have resistance
to seeing a resource within somebody else
or taking it in so as to "resource" that resource
is because you are so afraid of taking it in.
We only become afraid of taking in or resourcing
when doing so led us to pain before.
For example,
let's say that in your childhood
you resourced your parent for caretaking,
only to find out that doing so
put you in a state of guilt
and put you in a state of indebtedness to that person.
Or, we might have resourced somebody
for a sense of belonging,
only to have that person die.
So the minute they died
we'd lost overnight that sense of belonging.
So it's tempting to not want to resource anything from anyone
because we could lose it.
So it's almost like the pain of denying yourself
we feel is less painful
than the pain of losing something that we had.
Or, for example,
you may have been indoctrinated with the idea
that when you resource anything from someone,
you are weak,
and you are a burden,
and you are worthless.
That the only thing that matters is you being independent.
Now, when you try to resource
somebody in the past for something,
if you were indoctrinated in this way,
you would have been massively shamed for it.
So now, there's this association
between resourcing someone else,
and shame.
If you are somebody who is afraid to resource others
I want you to watch four of my videos;
The first is
How To Receive
The second is
Cut The Invisible Strings (How To Detach From Manipulation in Relationships)
The third is
Dependence vs. Independence
And the fourth is
Be Consciously Transactional (Why Every Relationship is Transactional)
Another reason that we may have resistance
to recognizing a resource within somebody
or to resourcing
a resource within somebody
is because we may fall into the trap
of narrow thinking regarding relationships.
And as a result,
put ourselves in a state of lack.
Of course, we do this
because we think that narrow thinking regarding relationships
is going to cause us to stay safe.
In alignment with this,
it must be said that so many people,
I mean most people in the world,
have a very narrow vision
and a very strict idea
about how their social lives must look.
As a result,
they end up not being creative enough, at all
with their social structure
so as to ensure that their needs can actually be met.
I'll give you some examples of what I mean:
We may be terrified
that if we resource something from a specific person
that may be a threat to this other person
who we're currently resourcing.
So, we're afraid that by resourcing that thing
this person is gonna withdraw the resource that they're providing
and we don't feel like we can afford that,
so we're going to just say:
"No. I'm not gonna recognize or take that in,
because I don't wanna lose this resource".
Or, for example,
we may think that the only acceptable structure
for our social lives
is a single family home.
But as a result,
we aren't getting our wants or needs met
by any stretch of the imagination.
Because they are so limited,
because there are so few people to resource from.
But let's face it,
if you fall into this category,
you're just too afraid to break outside of the social norm
because of whatever consequences
you think you're gonna meet with by doing so.
Or, for example,
you may feel like the only way
that somebody can be a reliable resource for you
is if you are in a romantic relationship with them
and that no other relationship
can possibly meet any of your needs.
Especially, will be a guarantee
for you to get your needs met.
To learn more about this, you can watch my video titled:
A Romantic Relationship Is Not All There Is
Don't be that person who misses the resources
that are right in front of you.
Don't be the person
who misses the value
of those resources that are right in front of you.
I need you to accept that all people, including you
contain within themselves
very powerful resources
that are very very valuable.
So recognize those resources
and resource them.
You will have so much more energy,
so much more power for your life.
Your life will be so much more abundant,
you will feel like life is prosperous.
And your life will be so much richer because of it.
Have a good week.
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I want to thank you personally
for the bravery that you have to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte Join the volunteer subtitle group on Facebook ASK TEAL TRADUCTION/TRANSLATION