TODAY I'M GONNA ANNOUNCE OFFICIALLY THAT I'LL BE
HOSTING A NEW SHOW FOR C-SPAN CALLED
"HATEWATCH WITH JON STEWART."
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HERE'S A SNEAK PREVIEW.
>> COMING UP NEXT ON C-SPAN 2 JON STEWART LOOKS AT CONGRESS IN
C-SPAN'S NEW SHOW, "HATEWATCH."
THEN AT 11:30 P.M., ON BOOK TV, AUTHOR MICHIO KAKU DISCUSSES THE
CHALLENGES OF WRITING A MEMOIR WHEN THERE'S A BEE TRAPPED IN
YOUR OFFICE.
>> HI, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO "HATEWATCH" ON C-SPAN 2, I'M JON STEWART.
WHY DON'T WE TAKE A LOOK TODAY AND SEE WHAT OUR CONGRESS IS UP
TO?
>> A BIPARTISAN BILL TO PROVIDE ASSISTANCE TO HUMAN TRAFFICKING
VICTIMS AND ADDITIONAL RESOURCES TO LAW ENFORCEMENT HAS GOTTEN
STUCK IN THE SENATE.
>> Jon: MOTHER -- SO IT APPEARS THE SENATE IS STUCK ON A BILL
I'M SURE EVERY AMERICAN WHO'S NOT CURRENTLY ACTIVELY INVOLVED
IN TRAFFICKING HUMANS FOR SEX WOULD SUPPORT.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD HATE.
TELL ME MORE.
>> DEMOCRATS HAD JOINED REPUBLICANS IN UNANIMOUS SUPPORT
OF THE BILL IN COMMITTEE BUT ARE NOW FIGHTING TO STRIP
OUT HYDE AMENDMENT LANGUAGE.
>> Jon: AH YES, THE HYDE AMENDMENT, NAMED FOR THE ACTION
THAT REPUBLICANS APPARENTLY HAVE TO TAKE TO GET THE ANTI-ABORTION
LANGUAGE INTO ALL BILLS. LET'S HIDE IT OVER HERE, LET'S HIDE IT
OVER -- THE HYDE AMENDMENT BLOCKS THE USE OF FEDERAL MONEY
FOR ABORTIONS, BECAUSE JUST BECAUSE A PROCEDURE IS
COMPLETELY LEGAL DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS TO BE TREATED THAT WAY.
I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENED, A LITTLE BIT OF REPUBLICAN WHAT WE AT
C-SPAN TWO CALL (BLEEP)RY.
HOW DID THE SEX TRAFFICKING BILL GET PASSED COMMITTEE
WITHOUT ANY NOT REPUBLICANS COMPLAINING.
>> DEMOCRATS DO ADMIT THAT WHEN THIS BILL WENT THROUGH THE
SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE AND WAS APPROVED BY BOTH
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS,
THEY DIDN'T READ IT FULLY.
>> Jon: YOU DIDN'T READ IT FULLY.
WHAT, DID YOU JUST SKIM IT TO SEE IF YOUR NAME WAS MENTIONED?
MOM!
I'M IN THE BILL!
>> WE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN THE BILL.
YOU CAN BLAME IT ON STAFF, BLAME IT ON WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BLAME
IT ON.
>> Jon: HOW ABOUT I BLAME NOT READING THE BILL ON YOU?
SENATOR HARRY REID, THE GUY IN CHARGE OF SENATE DEMOCRATS WHOSE
LAST NAME IS LITERALLY" REID ."
HOW DID YOU NOT READ THIS BILL?
IT'D BE LIKE GOING TO JOHN WATERS' HOUSE AND FINDING OUT
ALL OF HIS PLANTS ARE DEAD.
JOHN, WHY DIDN'T YOU YOUR LAST NAME THEM!
WELL, IT APPEARS (BLEEP)ERY AND DUMBASSERY ARE RUNNING NECK
AND NECK TO STYMIE THE HUMAN SEX TRAFFICKING BILL
EVERYONE AGREES SHOULD BE A LAW.
AS REPRESENTED HERE BY SAID (BLEEP) AND DUMBASSES.
>> A REPUBLICAN JUDICIARY COMMITTEE STAFFER SENT A
DEMOCRATIC STAFFER A SUMMARY OF CHANGES TO THE PREVIOUS
VERSION OF THE BILL IN SEVEN BULLET POINTS.
GUESS WHAT.
THEY LEFT OUT THE CHANGE THEY MADE.
>> REPUBLICANS ANNOUNCING THAT TRUSTING THEM WAS A MISTAKE.
>> Jon: REALLY? YOU THINK?
YOU THINK THAT TRUSTING THE REPUBLICANS WAS A MISTAKE
YOU KNOW WHO THAT'S ON?
IT'S THE SAME WAY NOBODY BLAMES THE BEARS IN "GRIZZLY MAN" FOR
EATING THE DELICIOUS-LOOKING MEAT SACK WHO KEPT STICKING HIS
HANDS IN THEIR POOP. BECAUSE THEY'RE BEARS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, PERHAPS NOW IT'S TIME ON
"HATEWATCH" TO GO TO THE PHONES.
>> "HATEWATCH" PHONE CALLS SPONSORED BY ARBY'S.
ARBY'S, BRINGING WASHINGTON-STYLE GRIDLOCK
TO YOUR COLON.
>> Jon: JUST CALL THE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN, CALL TO GET IN
ON OUR -- (LAUGHTER)
IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE OUR FIRST CALLER.
NOW OBVIOUSLY SINCE THIS IS C-SPAN THE CALLER WILL PROBABLY
BE A NON-SCREENED, UNAPOLOGETIC RACIST. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
>> Caller: JON, CLEARLY THE PROBLEM HERE IS BLACK PEOPLE
DON'T HAVE AN AMERICAN WORK ETHIC AND CAN'T REALLY
UNDERSTAND CIVILIZATION, SO AS LONG AS PRESIDENT BROKE O'BUMMER
IS IN OFFICE OPPRESSING WHITE PEOPLE --
>> Jon: OKAY GOODBYE.
LET'S RETURN TO OUR EXAMINATION OF HOW A BIPARTISAN SEX
TRAFFICKING BILL IS STUCK IN THE SENATE.
I BELIEVE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL WOULD LIKE TO MAKE
A DISINGENUOUS POINT.
>> LET'S NOT FILIBUSTER BIPARTISAN HELP FOR VULNERABLE
VICTIMS JUST TO MAKE A POINT FOR LEFT-WING SPECIAL INTEREST
GROUPS.
>> Jon: HOW DARE -- THE ONLY REASON THE LANGUAGE IS IN THERE
IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BOWING DOWN TO RIGHT-WING SPECIAL INTEREST --
YOU KNOW, SON OF A BITCH!
I WANNA -- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!
TURTLE MAN!
I, YOU KNOW WHAT -- I JUST, I NEED A MOMENT.
I NEED A MOMENT.
>> UP NEXT WE'LL TRAIN OUR CAMERAS ON AN EMPTY PODIUM LONG
BEFORE ANYONE APPROACHES IT TO SPEAK.
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT. I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
UNLESS SENATOR MCCONNELL IS ABOUT TO IN THE IMMEDIATE
AFTERMATH OF COMPLAINING THAT THE DEMOCRATS ARE USING AN
UNRELATED ISSUE TO HOLD UP IMPORTANT SENATE BUSINESS --
HOLD UP IMPORTANT SENATE BUSINESS WITH AN UNRELATED
ISSUE.
>> SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL SAYS HE WILL PUT OFF A
CONFIRMATION VOTE ON ATTORNEY GENERAL NOMINEE LORETTA LYNCH
UNTIL THE SENATE PASSES A HUMAN TRAFFICKING BILL.
>> Jon: YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING -- HELP!
HELP! HELP!
>> WE NOW REJOIN LIVE A REENACTMENT OF A CIVIL WAR
BOOK PANEL.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH GETTYSBURG.
>> OH SO WITTY, NORTH FREEDOM, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
>> LOOK AT MY HAIR, I'M SO OLD I WEAR A BOW TIE!
>> FASCINATING...
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT. WELL, IT APPEARS THE FAILURE OF THE
SEX TRAFFICKING BILL TO PASS
THE SENATE WOULD SEAL THE VICTORY FOR (BLEEP)RY IN THIS
CASE BUT WE WON'T SURE UNTIL THE VOTE ON THE
SENATE FLOOR ACCOMPANIED BY CLASSICAL MUSIC TO MAKE YOU FEEL
SMART.
(MUSIC) >> Jon: ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW
WHAT, THIS IS JUST TAKING TOO LONG.
I'M GONNA MAKE ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT.
SIX AND A HALF MINUTES AGO, C-SPAN 2 GAVE ME AN INCREDIBLE
OPPORTUNITY TO HOST THIS SHOW.
BUT I THINK NOW IT'S TIME FOR SOMEONE ELSE, ANYONE ELSE.
"HATEWATCH" DOESN'T DESERVE A HOST WHO'S EVEN SLIGHTLY
NAUSEOUS.
NOW I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE LEAVING "HATEWATCH."
OH YES, I DO.
RIGHT (BLEEP) NOW.
WOW!
THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE!