in this video i want to share a step-by-step beginner's guide to intentional living i want to
talk about not only what i see intentional living to be but also how to practice intentional living
the things that you can do to feel like you are living with intention the way that i see it is
the more intentionally you are living the more thoughtful decisions you have made and are making
you are deciding how you want to live as much as you are able to you decide what information what
inspiration you want to be around you actually put thought into how you want to spend your days
your weeks your months and your years you don't slide through life and you don't live on autopilot
the first step towards intentional living that is accessible to anyone is to know your values
if you don't know what you value if you are not living your values you're just going to
feel uncomfortable and not in a good way of like oh pushing past my comfort zone in more of a
i'm not the person that i want to be kind of way value exercises you feel really intimidating to me
and very formal like very 1990s self-help seminar but now i talk about my values and i go back to
my values all the time i talk to my friends my partner about their values about my values about
where they interlink i look at my values when i set my goals i look at my values when i'm making
decisions when i feel off in life i think about my values knowing your values literally just means
knowing what's important to you what you need to be embracing to feel good in your life here is how
to uncover your genuine values start by reflecting on the times when you've felt any kind of strong
emotion happiness and ease as well as stuckness and anger so some of my favorite strong feelings
are after i read like a mind-blowing book and i feel like i've learnt so much my mind has
expanded so learning is one of my values one of my least favorite feelings is facing red tape feeling
micromanaged feeling trapped so one of my values is freedom to practice your values translate those
values into actions and behaviors every value comes with practices the value of learning comes
with practices like reading watching documentaries deliberate practice the value of connection
comes with practices like traditions planning connection into your month meaningful conversation
ask yourself big questions the quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of
the questions you are asking yourself an essential part of intentional living is asking yourself the
big questions and answering truthfully here are some of the big questions that you need
to be asking yourself how do you believe that life should be lived what does your ideal day look like
what lifestyle do you want what do you actually want out of life if you embrace your values to
the fullest what would your life look like so take action on this take that list of questions every
morning for the next month set a timer for 20 minutes journal on all of those questions notice
yourself when you resist writing things down and when you find yourself lying to yourself
convincing yourself that you want one thing when in actuality you want something completely
different then make your big life decisions based on that knowledge your answers to these questions
are going to change over time especially when you hit big life milestones the lifestyle that
you want when you have kids the lifestyle that you want when you're retired are going to look
very different and your answers are also going to change as you get to know yourself which is
the next step to intentional living develop self-awareness if you don't know what you're
feeling what you struggle with what excites you what makes you happy what your emotional needs
are what kind of people lift you up what holds you back how can you design your life on purpose how
can you make any choices that align with you if you don't know what aligns with you a good
intentional first step towards self-awareness is personality tests for self-reflection so i want to
clarify personality tests are self-reflection tools not boxes that you fit in or that you
should fit in i don't think anyone should take personality tests unless they see them as anything
but that because it can be self-destructive people love labels they love boxes they love
boxing themselves in and they also love boxing other people in but when we put ourselves or
even others in boxes like self-absorbed and temperamental because that's what showed up on
our enneagram test or that's what our star sign says and we decide that that is just who we are
that's self-destructive it's giving fixed mindset it's giving i am who i am there's no changing me
it's not cute it's not helpful for you or anyone else if you are someone who finds yourself easily
boxing yourself in because of personality tests and you want to move away from that read the book
personality isn't permanent by benjamin hardy he tears personality tests apart and he emphasizes
the research that shows that you can move from one box to another in saying that like i said
personality tests are really good self-reflection tools you can reflect on the information that's
presented to you and think about whether that does apply to you whether that's who you want to be
there are three personality tests that i found the most helpful only two of them are backed by
research and studies firstly the big five this is the most grounded by research personality
test that you will come across and the research shows that all of your big five are flexible you
can move from agreeable to unagreeable you can even move a bit in terms of introversion towards
extroversion the second test is the enneagram test this is my favorite some people are star
sign people i'm an enneagram girl i've just found this to be one of the most interesting personality
tests to take for self-reflection and the third is an attachment style test this isn't a personality
test at all but it's grounded by research and it's also incredibly helpful to understand who
you are and why you might act the way that you do in certain relationships for me figuring out
which attachment style i lean towards it was like being hit by a ton of bricks and uncovering your
attachment styles with different people is really interesting you can reflect on why you are really
secure with a certain person and why you find yourself leaning really anxious or really avoidant
with another person and all of that information helps you to build more intentional relationships
before i get into the next beginner step that you should be taking to build an intentional
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purchase find or create principles that align with you when you have principles that are guiding your
life you make more intentional choices in your days your weeks your years a principle is a basic
rule that guides or influences your thoughts or actions so some examples are choose courage over
comfort change what you can accept what you can't focus on solutions not problems treat
everything you do as an experiment principles are things that you pick up over time it might be
through watching my videos reading certain books watching documentaries going through particular
life experiences but they should be chosen with intention and when you have a set of principles
that guide your life you will find yourself living more intentionally have self-reflection routines
without self-reflection we go off track fingers crossed every single year you take your card
to a mechanic and it gets like a day maybe more than a day just getting realigned like
the wheels have shifted things need oil the brakes aren't working as well as they should
every single year you should be taking yourself in for a similar routine you've been so busy
living and doing you forget what you're actually living for things go off track in your big yearly
self-reflection practice that's when you should be asking yourself the big questions reflecting
on your values making changes setting big goals in a quarterly self-reflection practice you want to
look back at those big questions free align with them maybe set some quarterly goals a monthly
self-reflection practice could just be making sure you're on top of your self-care you're maintaining
yourself you're maintaining your goals a weekly self-reflection practice might just be checking
that you're doing the things you said you'd do you can't move intentionally without maintenance and
self-reflection wade through and clean up your trash until you make the unconscious conscious
it will direct your life and you will call it fate you can't live intentionally until you've
acknowledged and worked with the parts of yourself that you have been told to hide the emotions that
you have repressed until you understand the hidden beliefs that are guiding your whole life
when you haven't uncovered why you do what you do you have beliefs buried in your subconscious
directing what you do and these are beliefs that you haven't chosen they are beliefs that
were given to you based on experiences maybe your family bad friends you will have parts of yourself
that you hide from people in order to be approved creating inauthentic relationships you will have
trauma little t big t that impacts the people that you choose to be with who you choose to surround
yourself with what you will do and what you won't do this is a whole new part of intentional living
for me that i've only dived into in the past six months or so but as a beginner in this area
i started by firstly learning to be conscious of my body and my feelings i have a whole video
that will help you to get started with this i'll have it linked down below secondly processing
past experiences these are the experiences that you feel resistance towards revisiting that you
know that you haven't processed properly that have shape beliefs that carry your oppressed emotions
or that feel confusing you can work through this with a qualified professional and if you have
big trauma that's what you should do i talked a bit more about this in my video on how to like
yourself or how to practice self-love i'm going to have that video linked down below and thirdly
uncovering the stories and beliefs that shape your life and moving towards better stories if you
believe that to make good money you need to work long hours and you need to hate what you do that
is going to shape your life if you genuinely think that all women are jealous they are unsupportive
that completely directs your relationships and you miss out on such a beautiful part of life
if you believe that your self-worth is informed by your productive output that limits your ability
to have a life filled with joy and filled with wonder working through these beliefs is one of
the keys to intentional living decide how you want to spend your time how we spend our days is how we
spend our lives if you aren't making intentional decisions about how you want to spend your time
you're not really living this is obviously such a huge topic that my channel focuses on
i'm not going to try and condense it into this one video instead to end this video here are
two videos that i'd recommend watching firstly seven ways to have more energy in your days and
weeks this video is all about designing your days and weeks with intention secondly how to
create more time in your life watch this video if you're looking to create more blank space
more white space in your life i appreciate you so very much and i will see you soon