Subtitles submitted by Austin Fritz
Mushu: Yo, Rocky! Wake up! You gotta go fetch Mulan!
Narrator: Few studios blend sentimentality and comic relief as perfectly as Disney.
Baymax: Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.
I was alerted to the need for medical attention when you said, (pauses) "Ow!"
Narrator: Welcome to WatchMojo.com,
and today, we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Funniest Disney Characters.
B.E.N.: Huzzah!! (laughs excitingly) Oh, this is fantastic!
Me and my best buddy out looking for a..., uh,
(whispering) Being quiet!
Narrator: For this list, we're looking at characters in Disney's animated films
that never failed to put a smile on our faces.
- Pumbaa: Kid, what's eatin' ya? - Timon: Nothing, he's at the top of the food chain!
(laughs)
Narrator: As such, we are not including characters from Pixar, because they deserve their own list.
Rex: Outta my way! Here I come! Here I come! Uh!
Ariel: Scuttle!
Scuttle: Woah! Mermaid off the port bow!
Narrator: While Sebastian's worrying nature offers plenty of humor throughout the film,
Sebastian: Hmph! Teenagers. Dey think dey know everything.
You give dem an inch, dey swim all over you.
Narrator: it's Scuttle who provides the funniest comic relief.
Scuttle: Human stuff, huh? Hey, let me see!
(thud, boing)
Narrator: A self-proclaimed "expert" on the human world, Scuttle assigns ridiculous names to everyday objects.
For example, he refers to a smoking pipe as a "snarfblatt."
Scuttle: This is wonderful! A banded, bulbous snarfblatt.
Narrator: He also hilariously calls a fork a "dingle-hopper,"
and convinces the naive Ariel that it's actually a comb.
Scuttle: It's a dingle-hopper!
Humans use these little babies - (boing) - to straighten their hair out.
Narrator: The most eccentric character in "The Little Mermaid,"
Scuttle clearly lives by the "fake-it-'til-you-make-it" mentality.
Scuttle: Well, look at what the catfish dragged in! (laughs)
- Stitch: Aloha! (laughs) - Gantu: Ugh!
Narrator: The characters in this film may not find Stitch's destructive antics funny,
but we can't get enough out of this little blue alien.
Lilo: His name is... Stitch.
- Shelter Worker: That's not a real name. (Nani interrupts negatively)
In...Iceland, but here it's a good name.
Narrator: Stitch is by far at his funniest when he's being bad,
especially when he pretends he's Godzilla and ruins a model of San Francisco.
Stitch: (growls) (as pedestrian): Eeee!! Save me!
Narrator: His dysfunctional relationship with the adorable Lilo and her sister Nani
also produces some of the funniest moments in the action-adventure comedy-drama.
(through Stitch's mouth): ♫We can't go on together with suspicions high♫...
(stops) ♫...cions high♫ (stops)
Narrator: Stitch's high jinks never get old
and his attempts to act good are both hilarious and heartwarming.
- Stitch: Merry Christmas! - Jumba: There's no Christmas! - Stitch: Happy Hanukkah!
- Lilo: We're leaving Stitch?! - Pleakley: Trust me! This is not gonna end well!
B.E.N.: I-I'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes.
Narrator: The Bio-Electronic-Navigator, also known as "B.E.N.",
is easily the funniest character of "Treasure Planet."
- B.E.N.: WAS I EVER DANCING WITH AN ANDROID NAMED LUPE?! - Jim: B.E.N.! Shh!
Narrator: Based on Ben Gunn from "Treasure Island,"
this robotic sidekick tries to assist Jim and the rest of the crew on their space adventure.
B.E.N.: I've, um, lost my mind! (laughs) "Lost my mind!" You haven't found it, have you?
Narrator: B.E.N. continuously puts Jim's life at risk thanks to his clumsy nature,
but also, comically, saves his life and assists him at the same time.
B.E.N.: Disable a few laser cannons. What is the big deal?
All we gotta do is find that one little wire...
(gasps) Oh, Mama.
Narrator: Martin Short is the voice behind the character and is completely over-the-top.
B.E.N.: WHOA!! (rebooting) Hello!
Narrator: He does so without being annoying, however,
making B.E.N. one of the most uproarious characters in the Disney universe.
B.E.N.: It's all flooding back! All my memories!
Right up until Flint pulled my memory circuit so I could never tell anybody about his
BOOBY TRAP! (explosion) Speaking of which...
Jaq: Poor Cinderelly. Ev'ry time she find a minute, that's the time when they begin it.
Narrator: One of the more entertaining subplots of this classic film,
is Cinderella's mousy friends and their conflict with Lady Tremaine's wicked cat, Lucifer.
Cinderella: (laughs) Oh. Poor Lucifer.
Narrator: While both mice work well as a comic duo,
it's Gus who steals the show thanks to his constant desire to eat.
Gus: Uh, why can't we say, "cluck-cluck?" (grunts)
Narrator: This makes Gus-Gus the target of Lucifer throughout the film.
While their broken English provides plenty of humor,
the fact that they can make the audience laugh without speaking
shows just how funny these two truly are.
Cinderella: Maybe I should interrupt the, uh, "music lesson."
Bagheera: This will take brains, not brawn.
Baloo: You better believe it, and I'm loaded with both!
Narrator: If there's a more laid-back Disney character than this guy, we haven't yet found him or her.
Baloo teaches Mowgli how to fight and how to live a relaxing life with just the Bare Necessities.
Baloo: All you gotta do is... (claps)
♫Look for the bare necessities The simple bare necessities♫
Narrator: Baloo's attempts to rescue the man-cub from King Louie and the other primates
are just as hysterical as they are successful.
Baloo: Run, Mowgli, run! (grunts)
Shere Khan: Let go, you big oaf!!
Narrator: Although his tomfoolery is laugh-out-loud funny, Baloo is more than just comic relief.
He also ultimately saves Mowgli's life at the end of the film,
making him one of Disney's most popular characters.
Mowgli: (ecstatic) Baloo! You're all right!
Baloo: Ha, ha! Who, me? Sure I am.
Never felt... better.
Hades: Olympus would be that way.
Narrator: The minions of Hades, Pain and Panic, provide plenty of comic relief throughout "Hercules,"
but we're going with the big guy for this list.
Hades: Oh, wait! I'm sorry! Timeout! Can I - can I ask you a question by the way. Are you -
Did you cut your hair? You look fabulous - I mean, you look like a fate worse than death.
Narrator: Voiced by the fast-talking James Woods, Hades is equal parts ruthless and priceless.
Hades: So you took care of him, huh?!
Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your EXACT words?!
Narrator: To say he's temperamental is an understatement
as even the slightest inconvenience sends him into a fiery rage,
despite his humorous attempts to remain calm.
Hades: Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but-ever-so-crucial, little, tiny detail?
I OWN YOU!!!!!
Narrator: For the older crowd, Hades drops several pop culture references,
like noting that the Trojans bet on the wrong horse.
Hades: For the Trojans, hey! They bet on the wrong horse. Okay?
Narrator: Who would have thought that the Lord of the Underworld could be such a down-to-Earth guy?
Hades: Baboom. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how are you doing?
Mushu: My little baby, off to destroy people.
(joyfully sobs)
Narrator: Eddie Murphy's career has been hit or miss,
but at his best, you can expect comedic gold.
Mushu: Did I hear someone ask for a miracle?! Let me hear you say, "AHHH!!!"
- Mulan: AHHH!!! - Mushu: That's close enough!
Narrator: Before he provided the voice of a talking donkey for DreamWorks,
Murphy injected life into Mushu, Mulan's dragon guardian.
Mushu: Okay, people, people, look alive. Let's go. Come on. Get up.
Let's move it. Rise and shine. Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me.
Narrator: Mushu is outrageously overconfident
and his attempts to turn Mulan into a male soldier fail miserably.
Mushu: I knew we could do it! You the man! Well, sort of.
Narrator: Despite his initial incompetence though, it's Mushu who actually defeats Shan Yu
by blowing him up with a bundle of fireworks rockets,
proving that he is more than just comic relief.
Mulan: Ready, Mushu?
Mushu: I am ready, baby! (blows fire) Light me!
- Timon: Please don't eat me. - Pumbaa: Drop 'em!
Banzai: Hey! Who's the pig?
Narrator: They say two is better than one, and that is certainly the case in "The Lion King."
Pumbaa: Look at him. He's so cute and all alone!
- Pumbaa: Can we keep him? - Timon: Pumbaa, are you nuts?!
Narrator: Loosely based on Rosencrantz and Guildenstern from William Shakespeare's Hamlet,
Timon and Pumbaa are the true stars of this film.
- Pumbaa: ♫Everytime that I...♫ - Timon: Hey Pumbaa, not in front of the kids! - Oh, sorry!
Narrator: One is a wise cracking meerkat, while the other is an absent minded and flatulent warthog.
Timon: ♫He could clear the Savannah after every meal♫
Pumbaa: ♫I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned♫ (passes gas)
Narrator: Their different personalities often cause them to clash with each other
much to the amusement of the viewer.
- Timon: I tell you Pumbaa, this stinks! - Pumbaa: Oh, sorry.
Timon: Not you! Them! Him, her, alone.
Narrator: While their dialogue is often quite hilarious,
their funniest moments tend to involve some sort of song and dance.
Pumbaa: ♫Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze♫
Timon: ♫It means no worries for the rest of your days♫
Kronk: Yeah, I got that there, Yzma.
(slap, grunt)
Narrator: This film isn't generally regarded as a Disney classic,
but it does have one of the funniest characters in the Disney universe.
Yzma: Kuzco IS dead, right? Tell me Kuzco's dead. I NEED to hear these words.
Kronk: But do you need to hear all those words exactly?
Narrator: While Emperor Kuzco and his ridiculous catchphrases are entertaining,
Kuzco: Okay, why does she even HAVE that lever?
Narrator: it's Kronk, Yzma's dim-witted adviser, who earns a spot on our list.
Yzma: A few drops in his drink, then I'll propose a toast, and he will be dead before dessert.
Kronk: Which is a real shame, because it's gonna be delicious.
Narrator: At the start of the film, Kronk is technically a villain. Although he's far from evil.
He makes the most of his decisions by consulting an angel and a devil that appear on his shoulders
which are modeled as miniature versions of himself.
Kronk Devil: Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead you down the "path of righteousness."
I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!
Narrator: Ultimately, he turns on Yzma, 'cause he discovers that she never liked his spinach puffs.
Seems fair enough to us.
Yzma: Do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs.
- (all gasps) - Yzma: NEVER!
(sobbing)
Narrator: Before we unveil our number one pick, here are some Honorable Mentions.
Olaf: Oh, I don't know why, but I've always loved the idea of summer, and sun, and all things hot...
- Kristoff: Really? I guess you don't have much experience with heat. - Olaf: Nope!
Tantor: Listen to me. Think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut.
- Terk: He looks nuthin' like ya! - (Sabor roars)
Goofy: Hey, Maxie! Uh, let's play a game! You think of a name and I'll try and guess who it is.
- Goofy: Uh, man or woman? - Max: (sighs) Man.
Goofy: Man, huh? Hm, that's a tough-y. Uh, let's see...
- Goofy: Walt Disney! - Max: Right. - Goofy: I'm good at this!
- Judy: We're not leaving. This is a crime scene. - Nick: Well, it's gonna be an even bigger crime scene
if Mr. Big finds me here. So, we're leaving right now!
Oh, god! Raymond! And is that Kevin? Long time, no see.
And speaking of no see, how about you forget you saw me?
- Rapunzel: Sit... - Flynn (off-screen): What?
Rapunzel: Now drop the boot. (Maximus neighs) Drop it!
Aww... you are such a good boy!
Cogsworth: Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we?
- Cogsworth (as Lumiere): 'Serve him tea. Sit in the master's chair. Pet the pooch!' - Lumiere: I was trying to be hospitable.
Genie: Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!
Narrator: Was there any doubt who'd be number one on our list?
Sure, Iago has his moments.
Iago: Look at this! Look at this! I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!
Narrator: But it's the Genie who claims the top spot because of Robin Williams' unmatched antics.
Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?
- Aladdin: Uh... uh, Aladdin. - Genie: Aladdin!
Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?
Narrator: In fact, most of Williams' lines were ad-libbed, and the result could not have been better.
Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?
Genie: (as William F. Buckley) Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos.
- Aladdin: Like? - Genie: Uh, rule number one:
I can't kill anybody. (slice) So don't ask.
Narrator: Williams reels off one pop culture reference after another,
and provides PLENTY of jokes geared at both younger and older viewers in "Aladdin."
Genie: That's a good move.
(as Rodney Dangerfield) I can't believe it. I'm losing to a rug.
Narrator: As a result, the Genie has become one of the most iconic characters in all of animation.
Genie: It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.
Phenomenal cosmic powers!
Itty bitty living space!
Narrator: Do you agree with our list? Who do you think is the funniest Disney character?
Mulan: Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Hey! Dragon! Drag-on! Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing.
Narrator: For more exciting Top 10s published every day,
be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
Baloo: Whew! (laughs) Man, that's what I call a swinging party!