I don't remember jokes and I don't remember scary stories.
Yeah, me either.
My scary stories are all about
someone making a bad investment.
Mine are about rabbits getting killed in my backyard.
[Conan] Right.
Are we talking about jokes or scary stories?
Scary stories.
Well, they're the same kind of.
I remember one joke that I say all the time.
What is it?
What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I'm sure I've said this to you before.
It's her only joke, I've heard it many times.
It's my only joke.
Okay, hold on.
Watermelon.
Ba-na-na-na.
You were close!
I knew it.
No, no, he wasn't close.
(laughs)
What he said made no sense at all.
That's like if you asked a dog to explain
the theory of relativity and it barked
and you went, close.
It's E equals MC squared.
Oh!
What's the dog.
(laughs)
Any time I play the guitar
it's gonna make your editing much more difficult, isn't it?
Yeah, that's right.
What is Wilson Phillips' favorite fruit?
Guava for one more day.
No, you can't do the same idea.
And you also had to think about it,
'cause you had to think about what fruit fit in there.
I don't know, I'm upset about it.
(laughs)
So guava for one more day.
Now I have a question.
You edit these things.
Will you edit that out? Are you kidding?
What will you do to protect yourself?
I will move that to the front.
And put an echo on it.
That's the opening.
(laughs)
Look at Sona.
You're navigating your cup to your mouth.
like you're landing a plane in inclement weather.
It's like one of the Apollos where they have to dock it
and they have to line it up exactly right.
Oh my God, look at that.
I didn't realize drinking would be part of this.
You didn't? I didn't, no.
I would not have been okay with that.
'Cause I knew this would happen.
You need another one, Conan?
No, I do not.
I like to drink slowly and then I think after one, I quit.
Hi, if you're listening
and you're an impressionable teen do as Conan does
not as Gourley says,
and remember Solo Stove
is the way to keep those home fires burning.
Yeah, and you could put color packets.
Are we done?
What do you mean, are you done?
Oh, there's a guitar holder over there.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, I didn't see it.
I thought they had moved it outta the way.
Those are some great ghost stories though.
You know what?
We don't have any ghost stories.
'Cause none of us really believe in ghosts, right?
Well, I just don't find ghosts scary.
I love true crime.
And I find, and you're the same way, Sona,
I love a true crime story and I find that
to be very eerie or an unsolved murder,
that kind of stuff freaks me out.
I remember when Blair Witch Project came out.
When something is unsaid or unstated
or some of those movies like Witch.
Remember the Witch? Yes.
Or Midsommar? Oh yeah.
Hereditary.
I find movies where something's just off,
but it's not that explicit. I agree.
That terrifies me.
Like in the movie, the Witch,
they can just show some trees in the distance,
and they're undulating in the breeze,
but because of the tone they've set and the music.
I find that scary.
Guys dressed up in a leather mask with a chainsaw
doesn't do anything for me.
Terrifies me.
That does beg the question though of the big three,
Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger
which are we? Ooh.
So Freddy's real mouthy.
It's gotta be you That's you.
I guess so.
I never liked those 'cause I never understood
what the rules were.
I like to know what the rules are.
I think you would like the idea of haunting people
in their dreams.
I do haunt people in their dreams.
You haunt me in my dreams.
I think he is Freddy Kreuger.
Most of my career was spent literally doing a show
that people fell asleep to from 12:30 to 1:30.
I think I'm in people's deep, deep unconscious.
And I'm wreaking havoc.
I think you're Jason,
because he's got a sweet side to him.
That's nice.
Kind of innocence. Okay.
And I think I'm Michael,
'cause I'm mysterious and kind of enigmatic and charming.
And unkillable.
Yeah.
All of us are unkillable.
I can't watch horror stories.
I mean horror movies.
It keeps me up at night.
But I don't find those scary.
You don't at all, like even when you were a kid?
The first Halloween?
I don't think I saw it.
Maybe I didn't see the first Halloween when it came out.
Oh, it's so scary.
I was still in the convent.
When Final Destination came out,
my friend's mom had to follow me home
'cause I thought death was after me.
But you having someone follow you wasn't scary?
You asked your friend who was wearing a cloak
to follow you home.
(laughs)
Your friend who wore a cloak,
'cause it was chilly and he got cold easily,
and he had just bought a scythe at the scythe store.
Hey, do me a favor.
I'm really scared, could you follow me home?
And he was like, yes I will.
Because he had terrible asthma.
This is perfect.
'Cause we're all basically 10 years apart.
And I bet our horror movies don't work for the other
or at least not those that came before us.
Exorcist probably scared you.
I think the Omen, the Omen scared me.
Halloween for me.
And you're saying Final Destination
which doesn't scare me at all.
And Blair Witch was really scary.
Yes. I thought Blair Witch was scary.
Giving a shout out to the newer movies,
I think the newer movies,
like I said, the Witch, Hereditary, Midsommar.
Those freak me out.
I think those are brilliant.
I think the horror they're doing now is maybe superior.
It's psychological.
They call it elevated horror.
Yeah.
That's good.
We started educating people accidentally.
It got sort of useful.
We're a film podcast.
Look at us. Let's turn this around.
We gotta get outta here. Ooh, we're fancy people.
We gotta get outta here.
We watch movies and talk about 'em.