Brainy Dose Presents:
Dealing With Rude People - 15 Communication Tips
There’s a good chance that you’ll encounter rude behavior in nearly every social situation
- be it at work, a family gathering, or while interacting with people when you’re out
and about.
Regardless of who it is, it’s important that you take time, and consider ways to properly
handle your reactions to rude behavior.
It’s really easy to give these people an attitude in return, particularly when it’s
someone you don’t think you’ll ever see again.
However, by stopping, thinking, and responding correctly, you can walk away from the interaction
feeling much more pleasant.
Here are some clever ways to deal with rude people - without becoming one of them, along
the way!
Number 1 - Take A Moment To Choose The Right Approach
Take a moment to stop and think about the consequences, and if it’s worth a dispute.
When dealing with a rude person, it’s a good rule of thumb to talk things over - if
it’s someone you’re close to.
Otherwise - if it’s someone you rarely see, or especially someone you may never see again,
there’s simply no need to pick the situation apart.
Rather, be as kind as possible to them, and move on.
Number 2 - Make Direct Eye Contact
When someone is talking to you in a rude manner, don’t avert your eyes from them, as this
may cause them to think that you are being submissive to their approach.
Look them in the eye when they are talking to you, and hold your gaze.
This will show that you are confident in your stand, and that you will not be made submissive
by their rudeness.
Number 3 - Smile
Commonly, when someone’s either rude or mean to you, all they’re looking for is
a reaction.
So what better way to throw it back at them, than to do the opposite of what they want!
Smiling not only bothers the person being rude to you, but the act also tricks YOUR
brain into thinking that it’s happy - and as a result, you will feel more at ease.
Smiling not only shows rude people that their words can’t hurt you, but it also shows
them that what they say and think doesn’t matter to you.
Number 4 - Keep Your Temper
When it comes to dealing with rude people, the quickest way to lose control of a situation,
is to lose your cool.
By letting your anger get the better of you, you indirectly validate their behavior.
Raising your voice, pointing your finger, or speaking disrespectfully to a rude person,
will only add fuel to an already heated situation.
Plus, it shows that they are destroying your self-control.
Don't try to talk over the person - use a low, calm, even monotone voice.
Wait until the person takes a breath, and then speak.
Give yourself the chance to work things out by remaining calm.
Number 5 - Don’t React, Respond
Another benefit of keeping your composure, is that it allows you to proactively respond,
rather than negatively react.
Feeling calm, in control, thinking and acting from a position of strength, rather than being
out of control and trying to recover from what you’ve said or done, will help you
think through a better way of handling the issue.
One way to ensure that you ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’, is to put yourself in the
rude person’s shoes for a moment.
By empathizing with them, you can often diffuse the situation - as they will not have any
opposition to their case.
In effect, what you’re doing is understanding their position to the fullest, rather than
agreeing with them.
Number 6 - Consider The Other Person’s Point Of View
When you face a rude person, it’s easy to blame yourself.
You may think that there’s something wrong with you - that perhaps there is some unappealing
quality about you that triggered such a reaction.
You need to keep in mind, that when people are rude to you, their behavior probably has
nothing to do with you!
It could be because they are having some problems of their own, and this in turn causes them
to be cranky to you.
If you know the individual, and know that they are NOT a bad person, consider it situational.
Based on the scenario, quickly consider their side of the argument.
Is it possible that their point is valid as well?
On the contrary, if you know this rude person well and this is just how they seem to act
every single day, it might be a larger issue for the two of you to work on.
Number 7 - Approach The Problem Head-On
If you find yourself frequently deflecting rude behavior from a particular person, calmly
ask if you’ve done something to upset or offend them.
This is an important conversation, and underscores your willingness to hear the other side.
Sometimes people don’t even realize they’ve been rude, and your honesty could help them
re-evaluate their actions.
You may also find out, that you’ve misinterpreted a situation.
Number 8 - Be Objective And Analyze The Rudeness
So somebody was rude to you.
What did they say or do?
Was there any sense in it?
If you view the situation objectively, you’ll realize that most rudeness is senseless, so
you can simply ignore it.
On the rare occasion, when there’s logic behind the rude behavior, staying objective
lets you address the root of the problem - instead of the rudeness concealing it.
Number 9 - Find Common Ground
Connecting with someone who is rude can be demanding, and it can require some effort
not to take it personally.
Try to find some common ground, so you can still get something out of the conversation.
If rude remarks are still thrown in your face, choose not to take it personally.
There are some things not worth fretting over.
Depending on the interaction, you can choose when to be silent, when to speak, or whether
to let it go.
Assess the situation and decide the appropriate response.
It is easier said than done - so taking a few seconds to decide what to do, empowers
you - and sets you above the situation.
So ask yourself “How can I get the best out of this conversation?”
Number 10 - Develop A Mature Perspective
One simple way to deal with rude behavior is to draw on the old phrase, "kill them with
kindness."
While you cannot control another person's rude words or actions, you can choose how
to respond to them.
While this may take some practice, ignore the rudeness and simply respond kindly.
Keep in mind that many people are rude because they feel frustrated, angry or are dealing
with stress.
Although their personal circumstances do not justify rudeness, understanding where they
are coming from, can help you respond to them in a way that neither upsets you, nor leads
to rude responses.
Number 11 - Be Witty And Use Humor To Ease The Tension
The best way to surprise a rude person is by using humor in your reply.
Someone who is aggressive toward you, would expect you to respond in the same tone, but
when you use humor or wit, they are bound to feel thrown back.
Using humor will also lighten the tension and allow the other person to calm down.
Number 12 - Simply Say “You’re Right!”
No, you don’t REALLY have to agree - you can use this just to cut the conversation
short.
This is a statement that will leave nothing else to argue about!
You are admitting, and the other person can just nod their head and feel satisfied.
Or dissatisfied - if they realize that what you’ve just said, is only to stop any further
discussions on the topic.
Number 13 - Don’t Try To Force A Change
Some people are rude, simply because they’re always rude.
Once rudeness becomes a habit, it can be difficult to shake off - even if someone truly wants
to behave better.
Habitual rudeness should never be taken personally; it’s just a pattern that’s hard to break.
You can’t make someone be polite if they want to be rude.
In fact, trying to force a change in their behavior, will often make them behave worse,
instead of better.
Sometimes your best option is to accept that their rudeness is not your fault, and let
them find their own solutions.
Number 14 - Finish The Conversation Before It Gets Ugly
You should think about your own dignity.
If you feel like you are about to lose it, just step away from the conversation.
Simply say “This conversation is finished.”
Don’t let a rude person make you regret your own words later on.
Rude people tend to do this, and they enjoy it.
Don’t give them the satisfaction!
Number 15 - Walk Away
Since you ultimately have no control over another person's rudeness, it may be beneficial
to walk away - without comment - particularly if you start to feel agitated or angry.
This will help you avoid confrontation.
If the rude individual is a friend or family member, distancing yourself from them or cutting
off contact altogether may be necessary - particularity, if their behavior is negatively affecting
your life.
For example, if the rudeness is aggressive, or involves verbally or emotionally abusive
behavior - such as name-calling, put-downs or efforts to control you.
Learning to connect with rude people can be tough, but it’s a skill you can improve
- to enhance positive and productive conversations.
By following these tricks, you will find yourself being able to better handle rude people that
you’re likely to encounter in your day-to-day life.
While there may never be a world without rude people, there can be one where you respond
to them pleasantly and commendably.
We want to know what you think!
Have you had any crazy experiences with rude people, and how did you handle them?
Let us know in the comments below!
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