[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi!
I'm Kristen Bell, and I had butt worms.
Oh.
Had, relax.
But it's not my fault. I got them
from my beautiful, special children.
Seriously, you guys, kids are gross.
(SINGING) To all you moms out here doing it right.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, everyone!
Hi, Kristen!
Hi.
Yeah, that's right.
My name is Kristen, or you can call me Miss Bell
if you want to keep it profesh.
What's the grossest thing you guys have ever done?
Oh, I know.
Oh, no.
Gosh, I'm scared.
One time I saw this bird poop.
It looked dry, so I touched it, but then it was all wet.
So then poop got on my finger.
The grossest thing, hands down, not only my kid has ever done,
but any kid I've ever heard of, is he picked up our puppy's dog
poop, put it in his hands and played with it,
and applied it in his mouth.
The grossest thing my kid has probably ever done
maybe is stick her toothbrush in the toilet bowl
before she brushed her teeth, or it could be eating dog food.
Probably when they were babies and they
used to do that projectile vomit thing.
I just remember holding him out and projectile.
Gross.
And another time he skated in it.
He just found some poop somewhere and just skated
in it.
What's the grossest thing your super cute kid has ever done?
Ohh.
Being at a restaurant, Mateo found a piece of chewed gum
underneath the table, removed it from the table
and started chewing the chewed gum.
And I almost threw up in my mouth.
Well, Mila, her nickname is actually Sugar Booger
because she eats her boogers.
No!
[GIGGLING]
My kids do that too and I always tell them,
I'm like, no your body is trying to let that go.
She doesn't care.
But at least she doesn't put them all over the house.
That's the upside.
We are struggling with that at the moment.
Yeah, and it was just revealed to us.
Because my older one said, "I have a booger.
I'm going to go put it in the trash."
And the little one said, "The trash?
I just put them on the house."
And so we're just like looking for boogers now.
So cute.
Oh my god.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
We had pinkeye once.
Not so bad.
We did have hand, foot, and mouth.
We have had a lice case with one of our kids.
My daughter did get Coxsackie virus.
My kids have had lice, they've had roseola, scabies.
Didn't let them in the house.
That was the key.
Don't let them in the house.
Who's had lice?
Oh, I had lice in my hair.
You did?
[GIGGLING]
He has never had lice.
Would you guys mind if I just gave you a little check,
just to be sure?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hmm.
This is looking pretty, pretty good.
Now, you said you had lice once.
Yeah.
What did it feel like?
It felt really itchy, but it doesn't feel really itchy now.
But I don't know, there might be just some nits in there.
Some nits?
Yeah.
Termites cause lice I think.
What?
I'm going to have to check on that.
Oh, oh, oh no.
Oh, no.
No, that's just a little bit of breakfast.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The grossest thing my daughter has ever done,
she went to use the bathroom, all of a sudden I
heard this kind of like, what happened or whatever.
I ran into the bathroom.
There was poop all over the floor, like on the wall.
I somehow also stepped in it.
It was on my feet.
And so as I stood there shocked that, like, I had stepped
in it, and it was like on her and the wall,
and I didn't even know how it all happened.
My dog came in and started eating my daughter's poop.
So I guess it's actually the grossest thing my dog's ever
done.
You guys are really nothing, but a walking Petri
dish full of feces and love.
And you know what?
We wouldn't change a thing, would we moms?
No.
We absolutely wouldn't.
And now I want all of you to raise your right hand
and repeat after me, OK?
I--
Now state your name.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
--do solemnly swear--
Do solemnly swear--
--never to be gross again.
Congratulations, moms.
Your kids are excellent liars.
[LAUGHTER]
Up top, guys.
Yeah!
[LAUGHTER]
Presented by the new Johnson's, improved inside and out.
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