How about that kid?
Holy moly.
Yeah, incredible.
Yeah, and then he goes, oh, here,
look what I brought for you.
Well, I saw something. yes-- yes--
well I didn't know if you knew you had it.
You never miss a gift.
Yeah.
If you see a gift--
yeah, what is he?
Nine?
Nine.
They said, yeah, I started when I was seven.
That's like 48 months, right?
Yeah.
Two years.
That's unbelievable.
I know.
He's incredible.
24.
What's that?
24!
No, he's not.
Oh, it's 24.
[INAUDIBLE]
That's how--
I disagreed with him.
--stupid I am.
Yeah, you-- that's even worse.
I'm a host.
I just go yes, yes, Michael.
No, I was going to talk about it--
No, you know what it is?
48 months is what Paul Manafort got.
That's [INAUDIBLE].
I always confuse [INAUDIBLE].
I always confuse--
[LAUGHTER]
So thank you for this.
You're welcome.
Why do you have your phone?
Because I want to show you something.
OK.
We can talk about this now.
First of all, that kid's awesome.
And you look at him and you go--
one of my favorite things he does is--
he's nine-- and he does like the painful thing, like that thing.
You know what I mean?
Like I really have a lot of pain in my life.
Yeah.
And he's got such a cool look.
Kids got dreads.
And you go, wow, I wonder what his parents thing.
And then you see the parents, and you're like, yeah,
there you go.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, I'd say that--
That's what his parents look like.
--they're OK with it.
So check this out because you'll dig this.
Do know about this thing?
Look at this.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, yes.
[INAUDIBLE]
And you know about this guy?
But we-- they don't know what we're doing.
OK, I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
OK, was it yesterday at the half marathon in New York
this guy ran it in under two hours and he's blind.
And he'd-- first of all, he's the coolest dude besides
the guy who just played the guitar.
And his dog runs it with him.
And he's a service dog.
That's amazing that that dog ran the half marathon.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's--
How many miles?
Well, I'm not going to do math with you.
Yeah, no, we're not going to do that.
[LAUGHTER]
Don't ask me to do math with you.
I was so hoping they wouldn't ask me.
I don't know how long a marathon is.
Is it 26 miles?
26.
[INAUDIBLE]
All right, so then it would be 13.1.
Jeez, all right, [INAUDIBLE].
By the way, these people are so frightened of you
because when you look back to look for the piano player,
and they like ran, the people who work for you.
Yeah, well, he doesn't work for me.
I think he's with the band, and he ran.
Ran?
Yes, ran, scared to death.
[INAUDIBLE]
We haven't found him.
He kept going.
He's out.
He's on [INAUDIBLE].
You'll hunt him down.
Yeah, oh, I'll get him.
Yeah, oh, I'll-- at night, the searchlight--
I'll find that guy.
She seems so nice.
Yeah, until you play guitar--
piano behind her.
Yeah, exactly don't do that.
So are you moving from-- are you leaving our area and moving
to Montana?
Well, you know, I live there part of the year.
Right.
For years I wouldn't even say where I was.
But it kind of works out.
And so I go back and forth.
I live here in LA too.
But no, I'll still be here part of the year.
But are you-- I just heard that you want
to fly yourself back and forth.
Not necessarily.
I've had-- I kind of want to learn to fly,
and I don't want to learn to fly because I've had
the opportunity to be--
I really like flying in helicopters.
I haven't flown a helicopter.
However, some of these guys who have flown me
let me take the stick now and then.
Yeah, exactly, yeah, that's the look.
Yeah.
It's kind of the look I did.
I went I don't think so.
And they go, no, go ahead.
And it's ridiculously--
Where are they from?
Huh?
Where are they from?
What was that accent?
Go ahead.
It's actually kind of Pittsburgh.
No, go ahead.
OK.
[LAUGHTER]
Right?
So do you want to fly--
So I kind of do like--
--a fixed wing or do you want to fly a helicopter?
I'm curious about both.
OK.
And by now, you would have thought this would have been--
so I've had this experience where they'll say, go ahead.
You want to fly--
you want to fly it?
And I'll go sure.
And you-- the helicopters are really fun.
I'm not really flying it.
But you get to handle the stick and control it.
And then one time we were flying over-- we
were going to go fish at this place.
And a friend of mine said I've got
a guy who will fly this over the little single engine.
And it was an older plane, let's say.
And it hadn't-- I don't think it had seen much maintenance
in a while.
And we're flying over.
And we-- he says do you want to fly?
And I'm you know, wise guy, and I go, yeah, sure I'll fly it.
And he goes OK.
And he-- and so I physically flew this thing
for a long time.
I mean, manually flew it no instruments.
One reason I'm a little worried about learning
is I think I'll totally panic with the instruments
because I don't even know that two years was 24 months and not
48.
But--
[LAUGHTER]
--I don't feel real good about this.
So I wonder what that does?
So we were flying over.
And I realize-- and I've been like on it for a long time.
And I go, hey, this should be the Ruby or something.
I forget what valley we were in.
He goes, yeah, that's Letterman's ranch up there.
David-- and I think, how horrible
would it be if I actually crashed
into David Letterman's house.
It would take two of us out [INAUDIBLE]..
But when I got out, one reason I thought maybe
I don't want to learn is I was so tense once we landed.
And by the way, the landing thing was like--
he took over, thank god.
And we landed, and when I got out,
I literally couldn't move my neck I was so nervous.
I got out, and I was like this.
So I thought maybe I don't want to learn.
No.
Maybe I shouldn't learn.
No, it seems like you don't.
I don't know why someone told me this morning
you want to learn it.
Well--
It sounds like there's no reason for you to learn.
No, no, or any reason for you to come with me when I do.
No, well, that was never going to happen, ever.
[LAUGHTER]
We're going to take a break.
We're going to talk about the movie.
And we're going to talking about--
I didn't forget, but we've never talked
about that you did stand up.
And I'm going to talk about that.
Yeah.
And we'll be back.
All right, so you did stand up.
How long did you do stand up?
Not that long.
You know, I was starting to--
I really wanted to be an actor.
But I was so in love with comedy.
And I was starting to write a little bit.
And I started doing stand up in New York, actually.
And I thought well, this will be what I would do.
But I'm going to go-- and I did.
I went to acting class.
And then I was starting to get more acting roles.
And I thought I really only want to be really, really
great at something.
So I threw the focus kind of into acting as opposed
to stand up.
And nobody knows this better than you do because you're--
When you and I talked about you're special,
I thought oh, yeah, she's been out on the road,
obviously, you know, getting ready
because she hadn't been on the stage for a while.
I'm talking about you like you're not here.
[LAUGHTER]
And it knocked me out.
It was like you did it like four days ago.
And then you just went up.
This was really, really impressive.
Thanks.
I love doing it.
I mean, I really--
[INAUDIBLE]
[APPLAUSE]
Well, the thing about it is, it's when it works.
You know, and I don't mean just when it--
I mean when it's really working, when
it's working right at that point where you want it, you know?
There's nothing close to it.
I don't think there's anything close.
No, it's a very pure art form.
And it's a really amazing connection with the audiences.
Yeah.
It's a feeling like you know, if you play golf
and you hit that sweet spot, and that sound,
and that when you just hit that ball just right,
that's what stand up is for the entire time you're on stage.
If you're doing well.
Yeah, and if not, it's--
Yeah, it's hell.
--it's where'd that ball go?
Yeah.
Oh, it's still there.
It was here a minute ago.
Yeah, all right, let's talk about the movie
because we've got the elephant in the room.
We have to address it.
I just thought of that.
[LAUGHTER]
I still got it.
[LAUGHTER]
So Dumbo-- so who do you play?
Dumbo.
No, you didn't look like that in the clip.
I thought I was Dumbo.
I play Vandevere who is a corporate kind of--
I always thought my back story for him
was he owns a giant circus.
But he also owns many, many, many other little businesses.
And Danny's character owns the Medicci circus,
which is a really soulful, sweet little kind of mom and pop
circus that's not doing so well--
Danny DeVito's character.
And I swoop in and kind of sadistically
swoop it up and buy him out kind of.
And I'm kind of a bad guy.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
You're a bad guy.
Yeah.
That's a shame.
Yeah.
Well--
[LAUGHTER]
We both kind of went, well.
[LAUGHTER]
He's got to be the bad guy.
[INAUDIBLE]
But the wig-- here's the deal on the wig.
I hate sitting in the hair and makeup chair.
And I've worked with some really nice
unbelievably talented people and really good people.
And I enjoy their company.
But I just don't like being there.
I want to show up and go to work, you know?
And I was thinking, I don't know how to play this guy.
But I'm not going to mention a wig, but I kind of see a wig.
And I'm thinking, nah, don't say anything about a wig.
So of course, Tim and I get there
and we're going through the wardrobe, which
was extraordinary.
And I go, hey, Tim, what do you think about a wig?
And he goes, yeah, wear a wig.
And I go [BLEEP].
Now I got to wear a wig, right?
You know, the other great thing about being
in this movie because I have to say because I haven't mentioned
him yet in all the publicity, I get
to act in a scene, two scenes with Alan Arkin.
And If you're a person who loves comedy--
Yeah.
Man, how great is Alan Arkin?
Yeah.
Not only as an actor, but as a really--
He's a really funny person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, and the movie is filled
with a lot of amazing people.
And it is called Dumbo.
It's in theaters everywhere on March 29th.
Michael Keaton, everybody.
Thank you, dear.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities if you're into that sort of thing.
[SCREAMS]
[BLEEP]
God, [BLEEP].