[MUSIC - EARTH, WIND & FIRE, "SEPTEMBER"]
All right.
Oh, look, It's the first time I've seen my book in a store.
It's here.
You're going to sign books.
We have a Michelle Obama here.
[CHEERING]
Michelle Obama.
[CHEERING]
She'll be signing books.
[LAUGHS]
How are you?
Hi.
What's your name?
Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm Sophia.
Sophia.
Hi, Sophia.
You've got your book?
You'll start reading it when you get home.
Ellen, you can't sign my book.
Yes, I can.
[LAUGHTER]
No, you can't.
For Cameron.
Wait, wait, OK, so now you have to make a choice.
Do you want an Ellen-signed Michelle Obama
book or a Michelle-Obama-signed Michelle Obama book?
What if you get both of our signatures?
That would be fantastic.
[LAUGHS]
Why is your signature bigger than mine on my book?
The heck.
Free samples.
[LAUGHTER]
Anybody want a free sample?
If I could have a signed--
What's your name?
Sure, here's a free sample for you.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
What is your name?
What's your name?
Michelle, what did you put in here?
Oh my god.
[LAUGHTER]
What?
Michelle, you can't do that.
Look at her.
She does a lot of book signings, so she gets a little, you know.
[LAUGHTER]
That's crazy.
You can't--
It's OK.
I'm sorry, don't even act like that happened, all right?
OK, what's your name?
Gina.
So G-I--
G-I-N-A.
Yeah.
To Gina.
Here's my book.
Thank you.
OK.
[LAUGHS]
Gina.
Did you want Ellen's book too?
Yes, of course.
Yeah.
You don't have to be polite.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you.
What did you--
I didn't say anything.
Oh.
What aisle is the foot fungus medicine on?
[LAUGHTER]
Michelle is asking for foot fungus medicine.
I don't need foot fungus medicine.
No?
No.
Hi, Michelle, so I came for lunch, because I got her lunch.
And my grandbaby's just--
What are you doing?
Are you sure you only want the 30-pack?
[LAUGHTER]
I don't need that much toilet paper.
I'm good.
We're good.
Why do you say one thing to me quietly and then act
like you didn't say it?
OK, and this one as well?
My mom.
L-I-L-A.
For those of you who can't get here,
I'm going to read a tiny bit of her book
so that you can see what is inside.
He took her by the waist and pulled her flush
against his chest--
[LAUGHTER]
That's not--
--the number one thing this woman needs.
That's not my book.
Thank you so much.
[LAUGHTER]
What book was that?
I don't know.
Stop reading from my book.
[LAUGHS]
Emma.
Emma, OK.
I'm about to give it to her.
Smell this.
No, no.
Because when they go low, we get high.
[LAUGHTER]
When they go low, we get high.
Put that down or you're going to get that up your nose.
And then you'll be sorry.
Gonna get up your nose.
OK, thanks so much.
You want me to sign a book to you?
I would love that.
That's Sheri, S-H-E-R-I--
S H A A R I A S C H A I O R I O I O U
[LAUGHTER]
Step on up.
Thank you very much.
How are you?
When I say a "Michelle," you say "Pfeiffer."
Michelle!
Pfeiffer!
Michelle!
Pfeiffer!
[LAUGHTER]
You thought I was going to say, "Obama."
I think you got me on that one.
All right.
What's your name?
Lilliam, L-I, double-L, I-A-M.
Stop signing.
[LAUGHS]
I'm helping and then you just sign your name.
That's messy.
No, no, I'll do it for you.
It actually ends with an M.
Ends with an M.
You spelled it wrong.
Well, you would have spelled it wrong, too,
had she not said that.
L-I, double-L--
L-I-L-L-A--
M.
See?
And second name is L--
L-I-L-L--
I-A-M.
OK.
You're--
Don't confuse her now, Ellen.
I'm guiding her.
[LAUGHTER]
This is not helpful.
[LAUGHS]
All right, you know what, you do it by yourself then.
[LAUGHTER]
Aw.
It's better that way.
[LAUGHS]
How are you guys doing?
What's your name?
Monica.
Monica, great, M-O-N-I-C-A?
Yes, beautiful.
No, we're going to keep--
I won't say anything.
Oh my gosh.
[LAUGHTER]
From sitting so much, yeah, that could be a problem.
We don't need this.
No?
No, we don't need this.
No, thank you.
And what's your name?
Hi, my name's Cheryl.
What are you doing?
[LAUGHTER]
Can't take her anywhere, can you, Michelle?
[CLAPPING]
Hi, how are you?
[PIANO NOISES]
Good.
What's your name?
Karen.
Karen, thanks for being here.
[LAUGHS]
(SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain
when she comes.
She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes.
Come on, you know, I've learned to ignore her through this--
(SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain.
She'll be coming around the mountain.
She'll becoming around the mountain when she-- get it?
"Becoming."
Oh, OK.
We'll change it.
She'll becoming.
You should emphasize it more.
You play.
No, she plays.
Oh god.
No, I don't really play.
Yes, she does.
She says in the book.
[LAUGHS]
[PIANO PLAYING]
[LAUGHS]
This is not like a regular piano.
[PIANO PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(SINGING): Michelle Obama.
[LAUGHS]
What's your name?
(SINGING): Michelle Obama wrote a book.
She mentions Oprah several times and me only once.
Michelle wrote a book mentioning Oprah too many times but me
only once.
You were in there.
(SINGING): One time she mentions me but only once.
How do you spell "Micae Langon?"
M-I-C--
--K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse!
M-I-C--
Oh, OK.
All right, to Maya.
All right, everybody, this has been fun.
I miss Michelle.
We miss Michelle.
I miss the Obamas.
We miss the Obamas.
We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.
[LAUGHS]
We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.
That's wonderful.
I don't have foot fungus.
[LAUGHTER]
We love Michelle!
We love Ellen!
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC - SISTER SLEDGE, "WE ARE FAMILY"]
We are family.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel,
so you can see more awesome videos, like videos
of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like "ball peen hammer" and also some videos
of Ellen and other celebrities if you're
into that sort of thing.
[YELLING]
[BLEEP]
God [BLEEP]