(lively music)
- Next.
Well, aren't you adorable?
- Santa COVID super-spreader.
- Oh God.
- Contact-free present delivery.
- Teeth hurt what do.
- Go to a dentist.
- Dentist risk COVID.
- Like three out of five.
- Dentistry tutorial YouTube.
- I don't like where this is going.
- How socially distanced reindeer.
- Play chess online.
- Queen's Gambit, right?
So good.
- Learn chess online.
- It's a difficult game.
- Play checkers online.
- Elves paid sick leave.
- PlayStation versus Xbox.
- To date, the PlayStation 5 has.
- Tech specs.
- The X-Box boasts.
- Gameplay vids.
- Here you go.
Did you want to buy either of them or?
- (laughing) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(sighing) More gameplay vids.
- Play Connect Four online?
- Ellington Lower School hybrid learning schedule.
- Mondays and Thursdays.
- Okay.
- Don't not come to school.
- We don't, don't not?
- From noon to 1:00 p.m., except for lunch.
- Play tic-tac-toe online.
- Rescue dogs.
- Here's a list of rescue dogs in your area.
- Ooh, Haley the wiener mix.
- Haley the wiener mix.
- I think she was first.
- Dang it.
- Nugget the pug mix. - Nugget the pug mix.
- Nugget the pug mix.
Damn it.
- COVID-19 numbers.
- Pretty bad.
- Climate change stats.
- Even worse.
- White terrorism, deep fakes, bio-warfare,
solar flares, nuclear bombs, earthquakes, wildfires.
- So we're just doomscrolling now.
- Bad news near me.
- Um.
- I'll handle this.
- Every second Wednesday, students must appear over Zoom
in uniform at 7:55.
- A.M. or p.m.?
- It does not say.
(crowd shouting)
Cooper the doodle mix.
Koosh the pom mix.
Tanner the husky.
- Vehicle collision with injuries.
- What is the point of this?
- You know, so people feel safe.
Reports of person X.
- Dr. Fauci.
- A doctor and infectious disease expert.
- Dr. Fauci young.
- Do you mean age?
- Dr. Fauci shirtless.
- Is this like a patient in love with their doctor thing?
- Dr. Fauci fan cam.
- Donald Trump won the elect.
- No.
- Obama born Kenya.
- No.
- Pizza-gate?
- No.
- Pizza bagel-gate?
- Santa high COVID risk.
- Oh good Lord.
- Santa co-morbidity.
- Report of pedestrian flattened by Zamboni.
♪ With you in the feeling ♪
♪ Never felt before ♪
♪ Now I fought my way into you ♪
♪ Hey I can't help it ♪
♪ I want to be with you all the time ♪
- Huh, I guess you're not the only one.
- Joe Biden ankle replaced with Hunter Biden ankle.
- No!
- Nancy Pelosi is the impostor.
- No!
- COVID-19 real.
- No, I mean.
- Too late.
- Man armed with flame thrower barricaded inside Starbucks.
- Anxiety medication.
- Well there's Xanax, Klonopin, Valium.
- How to get anxiety medication.
- Well, you'll need a prescription.
Health insurance?
Job?
(sighing)
- Ocean spray skateboard guy.
- Watch twice and call me in the morning.
- All the toilet paper.
- There's no need.
- All the beans.
- To hoard anything.
- Extra freezer.
- That's not so bad.
- To hoard vaccines.
- Last year's New Year's resolutions.
- Let me just pull up that Google doc.
Spend more time with friends and family.
Travel more.
Go on more dates.
Use your phone less, watch less TV, drink less booze.
Stop complaining.
- Mayans end of world year.
- 2012.
- Mayans dyslexia.
- What do you, oh shh.
♪ With you in the feeling ♪
♪ Never felt before ♪
♪ Now I fought my way into you ♪
♪ Hey I can't help it ♪
♪ I wanna be with you all the time ♪