- I've probably sent two dick pics to my boyfriend
in the last week only.
The other day, I literally sent a picture of my (beep)
96 and a half inch morning wood
and said fantastic beasts and where to find them.
(laughing) (bells tinkling)
Hi I'm Trixie Mattel.
- And I'm Katya.
- And we're two queens who like to watch.
- That's right, you better believe it.
Lemme just close my legs really quick, okay.
- And today we're watching "The Circle".
Let's see what's up.
(dramatic instrumental music)
Oh shit, we're gonna have some spoilers.
- Spoilers.
- Listen, you bought this episode weeks ago because why?
It's spoilt.
I have some salsa in my fridge that I opened
and it's not supposed to expire till February,
and yesterday I ate some, do you think it's okay?
- No.
Throw it away.
- Well, I ate it yesterday, so,
I guess I don't know why I'm asking, since I did it.
I had food poisoning a month ago
and I'm still throwing the dice.
No matter how many times I eat off the floor,
no matter how many times I eat gross and get sick,
I'm still like, oh, is that an old salsa?
- Oh my god.
- I think these have been here
since the last time we filmed.
Webebeba.
Culture. - Oh.
- No. - Body of Christ.
- I was just gonna hand it to you, bless you.
So, The Circle is a reality show
that is strangers who live in a house
and they don't actually get to meet each other.
They only interact through social media,
it's sort of like...
- Real life.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Getting to know people online is sort of
a vetting process.
If you do hashtag workflow, I know I don't need to meet you.
(laughing)
- That's true, and if anything gives you all the feels,
I know to put a hit on you right away.
- Yeah, can we make, if there's something's not a mood,
it's not. - It's not.
- Is it happy, sad, angry?
No bitch, a picture of a dog at a beach is not a mood.
- (beep) mood.
- Also, there's a drag queen we know
and I won't say who it is because it was Blair St Clair
but she tweeted "I hate having to adult",
and I was like, well you're in fourth grade
so you don't have to but--
- You're in fourth grade, just finish your book report
and go to bed.
- Adulting, aah.
(bells tinkling)
Let's see, I don't think we're in the hood no more, ow.
They were this close to calling this Circle jerk.
- I would like to be perceived as a real ass bitch
in a fake ass world.
- Well, that's not how we perceive you, Glen.
- I need a 45 minute nap to process that.
- And somebody with a brow arch that high,
has a secret ambition. - Yeah, yeah.
- Go.
- Look at Dallas, honey, come on and be outside.
- Come on, being outside.
- Graphic designer and hood spiritualist hustler.
- I understand hate crimes.
- He's not a spiritual hustler.
He's not, okay, stop the clip.
- Wait a minute, can you just go back, sorry.
- Okay, did he say he's a hood spiritualist hustler?
- Yeah, which I think means he works at Yankee Candle.
(loud laughing)
- I don't know, I really don't know.
- He's the assistant manager at Crabtree and Evelyn.
(giggling)
- When people first meet me, they are like,
"Girl, you're so confident.
"Where do you get it from?"
I say, "Honey, it's called God-fidence".
- God-fidance.
(laughing)
- I have to bite you now.
- I love tough lesbian chicks, 'cause they dress
like the coolest sixth grader.
There's like a chain wallet, - A vest,
- And a mohawk. - Yes.
- Like the coolest sixth grade kid
who's like a little bit bad.
- [Katya] Yeah, bad kid, yeah.
- I get all the time that I look like a young
Robert De Niro.
You talking to me?
- Okay, that's good though, that's good, right?
That's good, right?.
(bells tinkling)
- I think he's extremely (beep)able.
- That doesn't mean anything, because so many people
come on this show, we're like, "I don't think he's hot".
Oh, I'd (beep) him, but he's disgusting.
I mean, if he came up to me at the bar
and I was in drag, I'd give him a hot laugh.
(crazy laughing)
- Yes, I have.
I've sent a dick pic.
- Oh, I thought he said he sucked a dick.
- My ears, bass tuned that, I've sucked a dick.
- Yeah, I've sucked a dick.
- Yes sir, hydro-clumping, retexturizing, moisturize.
- Okay, I hate when straight guys have a chopstick
and a bar of soap and they're like,
"Yeah boy, this skincare right here",
it's like, your (beeping) washing your face.
(laughing)
- No, he's got a whole bath and body works
back inventory.
- Talk to me when you start using prescription skincare.
Talk to me on your fifth cycle of Accutane.
- See I do the menthol, right on the lips.
- Who's he talking to?
- I don't know.
- You know though, he's hot. - Yes.
- Oh my god, it's so cute.
- [Trixie) Just My Vibe.
- Oh my god--
- A dreamcatcher, this white girl, just my vibe,
catching my dreams.
- This is the girl that's getting all the feels.
I love that she got on her couch,
and then cheated out.
I already like her.
She said this Navajo blanket, I'm a Navajo.
(bells tinkling)
I had to do 12 years of hard, hard work
in an industry for $100,000.
All these people have to do is post hole pics
and try not to offend anybody.
(bells tinkling)
- Hi, my name is Rebecca.
And I do have a secret in store for the players.
- What did she say?
- I'm a dude, ha ha ha ha.
- Kitch, what did I tell you?
What the fuck did I tell you?
What did I tell you?
- What the fuck is going on here right now?
- What the fuck is going on here on this day.
- On this day.
- Now I'm interested.
You're allowed to not be yourself, which I love.
- Yeah, that's fantastic.
- We built a career on that. - Yeah, yeah yeah,
well I personally can (mumbles) but, yeah.
- Do you think we'd be here on Netflix show
with our faces and bodies?
- Oh no.
- Mama, they wouldn't even have opened the application.
- No, they wouldn't have let me out of the hospital.
- I wouldn't even have gotten the opportunity
to do a self tape.
(laughing)
Cause penis.
(laughing)
Penis skin taped to my leg.
- You tape it to your leg? - Yeah.
(laughing)
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
(beep) you ever have somebody use your picture online?
- Yes. - On Grinder?
- On Grinder. - Me too!
Listen, I love myself, dream big.
Why are you pretending to be me?
- But also on craigslist.
- As you, as a cross-dresser hooker?
- Uh huh, yeah.
- Oh, I like, look at this loser.
Like I love that.
Pick me, I'm gonna juggle.
(laughing)
- [Katya] She's just bouncing on the bed.
- By the way, hot girls, they just...
- She's bouncing on the bed.
It's the first thing I do
when I check into a new hotel room.
Bounce on the bed for like 25 minutes.
- Just jugs, just jugs out.
- Awww...
(laughing)
- What is that reaction?
Awwwwwwwwwwww. - Awwwwwwwwwww.
- [Offscreen Crew Member] Wait one second,
Pause for a second.
- What's happening?
- [Crew Member] Cause your hairs are so big
and close together, it's like...
- Oh. - Oh.
- [Crew Member] They're like merging as one.
- Are they merging?
- [Trixie] Can they send dick pics on The Circle?
That would be me being cast for The Circle.
- Yeah.
- Are they sending dick pics or not?
Send the car.
- Can I just say, that this is my idea of literal hell.
I would rather be tortured in like a dungeon
than have to do this.
- Circle, I would like to start a group chat
with the girls only.
I would like to call it the skinny queens.
(loud rattling)
- Let me get this together today.
Because this day is the best thing
that's ever happened to me, in my entire,
(hysterical laughing)
in my entire life, like, do you hear me?
(laughing)
(loud slurping)
Ahh.
Like, this is like, this is like, this is like,
- Not the (beeping) skinny queens.
The skinny queens.
- That fat bitch is gonna read that and go,
like, she is not, you know what?
Go against the grain, call it the fat queens.
You know what I mean?
Like, be real.
Okay, I'm going to call my group
the differently excised and whatever-abled at groups.
- Siri, chat.
Girls only, let's call our group big, fat, (beeps).
(laughing)
- Ah, okay, so it is voice activated.
We'll get to you in a second.
- [Trixie] What was he doing with that cucumber?
He said, we'll get to you in a second.
(laughing)
That's a gay guy, - Let me just shove
this cucumber up my ass first
- Two seconds in, he's got an ottoman up his ass.
- Where did all the furniture go?
Oh...
- I just shoved a candelabra up my pooper.
He could (beeping) piss on me.
He could pee on me.
- [Katya] Blood is thicker than water.
- [Trixie] Pissage, pissage in life, bro.
Yes!
- Ah, now we have some contenders.
- He is hot.
(bells tinkling)
What would your picture be if you were out of drag?
What would your Circle provocateur be?
- Smiling with a hat on.
- Cause bald? - Bald.
- Delete at bald. - Yeah.
Bald, old and not fat.
(laughing)
- Is sending dick pics cheating?
- Uh, no.
- No, especially not when there's money.
Do women send (beeping) pics?
Is that a (beeping) pic?
I know they probably do titty shots,
but do they like, do they?
'Cause there are straight guys
that say show me your (beeping).
- No, do they really say that?
- I don't know.
'Cause guys send dick pics.
But I never hear about girls sending
like (beeping) pictures.
- I've never seen one.
- Call it in. - Yeah.
We're so curious to know.
- I'm serious. - Are you a woman?
Have you sent a (beeping) pic?
Have you been solicited for a (beeping) pic?
- Yeah. - Thank you.
- She's my favorite, she's blond.
I saw her on Shallow.
- I saw her on Shallow. - She's my favorite,
- She's my favorite. - It's my favorite.
- I'm from New York.
- I don't know, you know.
My gut never lies and it's giving me catfish vibes with her.
Too good to be true.
- Too good to be true.
Fake ass bitch.
- I would, through societal pressure,
- Just wear your true colors, right on the front.
- I would put the white people last.
- Yeah, seriously. - No matter what.
- Fake ass white bitch, down the bottom.
- Straight white people, bottom.
- Bye.
- Bisexual, racially ambiguous, first.
- First.
(bells tinkling)
- I love this.
I love anything where people get rated
and they're like, hey that's what people thought of you.
(laughing)
I love shit like that. - Yeah.
Okay, would you be able, as a person,
to handle this kind of treatment?
- Yes, because I'm not under illusion of what I look like,
seem like, what people like about me.
Let's say it's a 10 and I got a four,
I would be like, I'm not a professional athlete,
I'm a cross-dresser from hell.
(bells tinkling)
- Yeah.
(hysterical laughing)
- That's me, opening up my craigslist--
- What was that voice he did?
- Yeah!
- And that's coming from us.
And also, he was like this.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I love that.
- [Katya] It's okay to pee in the shower.
- [Trixie] That would be great to start with.
Remember, have you ever been on OkCupid?
And they make you do questions like this.
- [Katya] Oh really?
- Yes, and I remember pushing,
I remember skipping this question
being like, who pees in the shower?
This question is not important.
And then I was with a guy who peed in the shower,
and I was like, that question is important.
- Oh, do you not agree that it's okay
to pee in the shower?
Do you disagree? - I disagree.
- What?
What in the hell's wrong with you?
- Okay, you clean yourself in this clean place,
you pee yourself in the pee place.
I think that's pretty clear.
- But see, I don't think of pee as dirty.
'Cause it's not.
(digital wink)
Do you know that I used to pee in the sink?
- I did know this.
- Because once, I was rushing to the bathroom once,
and I was undoing my garments as I was running,
kind of like I was in a (mumbles) comedy.
- Do the details change anything?
- Yes, they do, yes they do because it was an accident.
As soon as I crossed the threshold of the bathroom,
my urine left my body and my tingeling
was right above the sink, so I just let it happen there.
- So you did it for years?
- And I just kept doing it, yeah.
- And now someone lives there and uses that same sink.
- Yeah, but I just do a quick,
I put the faucet on for a second after I pee,
it washes it down, it's fine, it's fine.
- Well, that changes everything.
- Aim for the dream, that's what I always say (laughing).
- She's never heard a joke.
That was her first one.
- She's never heard...
(laughing)
- Like, she said "ha ha ha ha ha ha, for to laugh"
- It's fine to message someone a naked pic.
Absolutely not.
Oh no, no, no, no.
- Okay, pilgrim.
(laughing).
- She said, "Not in colonial Washington we don't."
- Yeah.
♪ Or the land of the free ♪
- I've never sent a naked picture
and I'm very happy about that.
- Are these Mormons?
- I don't know who these people are.
- And nobody wants to see a dick pic.
That's nasty.
- I do.
(bells tinkling)
- I am literally a (beeping) filthy pig
and I would never send a nude.
- You've never sent a nude?
- I've never.
- Even from the neck down?
- I'm famous.
- From the neck down, they're gonna be like--
- I have tattoos.
- I recognize those scarfication ritual stretchmarks.
The tattoos, that changes everything.
- No shit, yeah, I can't send any.
- Do you have any of your old nudes, pre-tattoo?
- I don't send, I've never had nudes,
I will never.
- What about your TS fantasy?
Do you like have any drag queen--
- Oh, I've got lots of those.
(laughing)
- Money can buy you happiness.
- Oh boy.
What? - Agreed.
(laughing) Sorry about that.
My favorite thing in my life is my doll collection.
And it cost tens of thousands of dollars.
- Now we're gonna see some fangs come out
and it's definitely gonna get interesting.
- You know what though?
It seems like things are gonna get ugly.
But you'll never have to see anyone.
I would be like, (beep) you, I like you teeth.
Not that you see them, whatever.
- [Katya] Ooh.
- [Trixie] Do they get alcohol?
- [Katya] Guh, guh, guh.
- [Trixie] See, I would love this.
I'd get drunk in bed and just (beep) on people.
Delete it, ooh.
Delete it fast.
Krr, drunk.
- [Katya] I would be like, last summer I got convicted
of vehicular manslaughter.
(laughing)
LMFAO.
- Yeah, I never met my dad.
- Yeah, lol. - Waffle, yeah.
Drop o copter.
We are being paid to be here,
but in this instance, watching this show,
it's not about the money for me anymore.
- I do this for free, it's about the passion.
- It's about the passion.
- Yeah, it's about the passion.
- He's definitely someone I wanna keep here
because I want--
- [Trixie] They're coming for her.
- [Katya] Yeah, they are.
- This editing is gay bashing.
Keep the gay guy around long enough,
you know you're gonna catch him
like shaving his hole, or like douching or--
- Or in the mirror with a brush.
- Putting makeup on, yes.
- The cons for Mercedes, her profile picture
is very, very filtered.
- [Trixie] Suspicious.
- I would like to see a more natural picture of her.
- Says the bisexual ass model.
(laughing)
She seems like a big (beep) bitch.
- Yeah, by the way, here's my hole.
- I hope it's like drag racing,
with like, this person is my sister.
This is my best friend in the competition.
- Yeah, she is my blood.
I have known her for the past 14 hours.
I cannot imagine living without her.
This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make,
in my entire life.
Ooh! - Ooh!
- Y'all better hold onto your panties, girl.
Don't pee on yourself because we've got a--
- I feel very victimized by that statement.
- I turned straight.
- I'm gonna party, party, party
till my panties fall off. - Till my panties fall off.
If I was on the chopping block, I'd whip out my dick.
I'd take a ballpoint pen and I'd write,
don't pick me, on my dick.
Just hold it out, don't pick me.
Alana, yay!
She is so plucked!
- She is... - She bee's leaving.
- I knew it!
They don't think I am who I am.
- They think I'm too perfect.
I'm sorry, people don't think I'm real,
but I'm a model.
Exit.
That's the way to leave a show.
- Yeah, yeah. (bells tinkling)
- Let me tell you, series editor Sarah Fay
has done it again.
Holy shit.
That is good, this is a good show.
- Yeah, it's great.
- Hey, go watch The Circle on Netflix, 'cause this is lit.
- The king, the crown, (beep) that, it's The Circle, momma.
- Season One, you haven't missed anything.
This is fierce.
- Yeah.
(dramatic music)