- This season of Sex Ed is brought to you by Lelo.
Stick around until after the episode
to learn a little bit more.
- Did you tell your parent when you lost your virginity?
No, I didn't. I don't think so.
That's kind of awkward. Did you tell your parent?
- I told my parent I was pregnant,
so I think she figured it out from there.
(both laughs)
(upbeat music)
- So I'm gonna just read out some questions to you guys.
You'll write down your answers,
and then we'll reveal. Okay?
- Okay.
- This is exciting -
- Let's see.
- This is like class.
- Let's see.
- How many people do you think
the other person has slept with?
- Oh!
(laughs)
I don't even know.
- Are we accurate?
- Was this accurate?
- Very close.
- Like up or down?
- Close.
(laughs)
- Your number is way too high.
- It is?
(laughs)
- You think I slept with 28 people?
- I don't know.
(laughs)
You've been alive a long time.
- Do you know what you number is?
- What's yours?
- Let's see.
Seven.
And he said 28.
(laughs)
- Damn!
- What is an appropriate age to lose your virginity?
- 16 Huh?
- I was okay with 16.
- 16 billion, but I'd say it's reality.
- I mean, yeah.
- It's reality.
- What age did you lose your virginity?
- Gosh.
- Write for yourselves.
- Sorry.
- Out of control mom.
(laughs)
- I know.
- What?
What? Can she do that?
(laughs)
You won't tell me.
- 15?
- Yeah.
- God!
- What?
Man!
(both laugh)
- Aw!
How cute.
- That's not cute. That's weird.
- It is weird.
(laughs)
- Have you ever caught the other having sex?
Yeah.
- You've caught me having sex?
- I have.
- Oh!
(laughs)
- One time it was six in the morning.
I'm like, why are you even doing anything
at six in the morning?
- Cause at some point you just don't care.
- Maybe like one time I was like,
that sounds a little odd coming from the other room.
But it wasn't like a caught thing.
- Me?
- Yes, you!
What are you talking about?
Who would I be talking about?
It's about each other.
- I thought you're talking about you.
- No!
(both laugh)
- Yeah.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- You serious?
- Yeah. You're moaning pretty loud.
- Shush!
Don't say that.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
It's the truth.
- Are you making this up?
- I swear.
- You're making it up.
- I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
I'm not. I left. I went down to the garage.
- Oh!
- Did you tell your parents when you lost your virginity?
No.
No, why?
I didn't think I was supposed to tell you guys, I was like -
- I kinda may have probably didn't wanna know.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- I did?
- Yeah. In Hawaii.
- Oh my gosh!
- Yeah.
- That wasn't -
- That wasn't it?
- No.
- I did.
And it's kind of funny because, it's the fact that
I said it so casually that I just showed to her work
and we're in the middle of conversation.
I'm just like, "Oh yeah! We snuck into the house
and had sex."
And that's how she found out.
And she's just like, "Okay, great! Now I get to have
this big conversation while I'm at work. Thanks."
(laughs)
- So what happened for me was we went to a doctor's office.
Was it senior year?
Like 17 or so -
- You were 17.
- Yeah. So, I went to a doctor's office
and they obviously asked about it.
Cause I was at age, you know?
And I was like, "Mom, don't look at this questionnaire,
because just don't look at it."
And so obviously she got the hints and then,
so that's how she found out.
- Are you uncomfortable talking about this?
- Yes.
(laughs)
Yes.
I am.
- I'm not.
- I am -
- I'm not.
- this is awkward.
(laughs)
I had no problem with like I said, with your sisters,
but with you, I just, I don't know,
I just feel uncomfortable.
- To a certain extent.
- Yeah, to a certain extent.
- To a certain extent.
It's an open conversation in our home,
but not personal experiences.
- Yeah, not details.
- No.
- That's weird.
- No.
(chuckles)
- I'm not at all uncomfortable about talking about sex.
I think it's something natural
that needs to be talked about.
- A lot of us in the youth now growing up
have fallen into learning about everything on our phones.
Learning about everything through a video.
That in itself can cause a lot of traumas.
When you're not having that real engaged conversation
with your parent, who gave birth to you.
- But they're learning this in the video.
- Well.
(laughs)
I'd rather them hear,
if we could be that sign to,
hey when you're done watching this
turn off your phone,
turn off your computer and pick a serious conversation
to have with your parents.
- Yeah.
- Because if we learn everything on ourselves,
we have no idea how we're gonna handle
every single trauma we go through.
- Have you ever told your son
about the night he was conceived?
Am I an accident?
(both laugh)
- I don't know which night it was. It was a Newbsie.
Yeah.
- Wow. All right.
- Yeah.
- You guys were just going crazy or?
- Yes.
(laughs)
- My parents liked going to the drive-ins.
They liked going to the drive-ins
and watching a certain movie.
I don't know what the name of the movie is.
But they never watched a movie.
They couldn't tell what the movie is about. So.
- Do you worry about your son getting a girl pregnant?
- Oh my God!
Every 24 hours?
(laughs)
- What the?
- Yes.
- You think I'm like so Blake?
- No.
I just that's why I'm like, yeah.
- Not anymore.
I did. And when he was in college,
we would Venmo him money and say, "Buy a box of condoms.
Don't be dumb. There's no excuse."
- Absolutely. I ask him,
I ask you regularly if you're wearing protection -
- Yeah.
- he's been,
you've been honest and told me when you haven't -
- Yeah.
- and that spikes up my anxiety a bit.
- I did worry a lot about you guys having children young.
I had you at 18. So I certainly did not want that for you.
- What kind of contraception, if any,
does the other person use?
- Well, you're a condom user.
- Yes.
- I've seen them in your room.
- Yes. Oh yeah, yeah.
Do you still even have sex?
- Of course we do.
We're human.
- The pull out game yeah.
- You don't use the condom?
(laughs)
You need to send my money back then.
(laughs)
- I'll be honest.
I don't really know what contraception means.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Tiren Micheal!
- I don't know why.
It's just going over my head, I don't know.
- Protection.
- Trojans?
- Condoms.
- Yeah. I use Trojans.
- Okay.
- Do you use any contras -
- Condoms and I have an IUD.
- Do you know what an IUD is?
- It's like, it's like.
- Is that the uterus? Is that what that.
- No. It's like,
you know Tesla. You know the Tesla like symbol-
- No.
- It's like the little thing and you just.
- They put it up into your uterus
and it just kind of opens and it stays inside you.
You should learn.
- Wow.
(chuckles)
- You should learn.
- I should do my research about this stuff.
(laughs)
- Did you teach your son about consent?
- Yes.
Especially in college.
I was like, even if they're drinking, like just be careful.
Cause a yes could really mean no.
And just like, you really want the person to be conscious
when they're agreeing to it.
- I don't think we have a huge -
- No.
- conversation on it.
- I think I've said the term 'No means no'.
But that's about it.
- I think you would know your own son better
than to say "hey, this guy seems like he needs
a little talk about consent."
- No. I think it's important.
- Yeah.
- I think it's important to teach that.
And I think both ways, I think for girls too.
So, I apologize for not giving you that talk.
- Yes, we definitely did.
A lot of times when there is a situation
it's harder to prove your word.
It's your word against their word.
And we did not want them to be in a position
where they would even be questioned.
And have their whole career and their life put in jeopardy.
Once you are labeled a sex offender or anything like that,
your life is, there's no quality of life after that.
- How did your parents teach you about sex?
In what ways do you wish it was different?
- It's just like a weird subject,
but they helped me like, not see it as like,
so uncomfortable, I would say.
- What did you wish you could have seen different?
- I don't know.
I felt like you guys did a really good job.
The only thing I would say I'd change is maybe,
both of you guys sitting down at the same time
talking about it.
- Mm
- Because you can get like a perspective from both.
- My parents didn't talk to me about sex.
Just went to the high school dance and said,
"Don't dance too close to the boys."
Swear to God. That's all they said.
Never really.
- That was it?
- That was it. The extent of it.
- Well. Know I know were that came from.
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- Do you wish that that was a conversation that you had?
- Oh yeah, I did.
I did, but I, you know,
we would hear stuff at school and we took sex ed.
And we had, you know, friends and I mean,
we didn't have the, I didn't have the internet.
I couldn't Google anything.
So it was just everything was from everybody's experiences
that they had.
- It was treated as if it were a dirty secret.
They did what they were comfortable with
and what they knew for that time period.
And I understand. But like my mother told me,
"If you don't like the way we did something, change it."
And I did.
- What's something you would like your sons
or other young men to know about sex education.
- Whatever the sexual encounter is being respectful
and consider it.
- That it is not all games,
that there is emotion behind the whole act of sex.
And it's more than just a physical thing.
- They learn from porn.
They learn from whatever media forms that teach it.
And I really wish that there was more education out there
about really how to connect.
- When I became sexually active.
I think that I put more emotion into it.
So therefore I was kind of giving myself
and I felt like I was giving love.
So I think that's important that
it's not just about this physical act.
There's an emotional aspect to it too,
that we need to be aware of.
Yeah.
That would be the most important.
- What's like the first one that stands out to you.
- Probably this one, because it's the one I would use.
(laughs)
- If I was a dude, this would be tight.
- I think this is a dildo.
- It's pretty strong.
(laughs)
- You can hear that. You can hear that one though.
(vibrator knocking)
- The thing that I like about vibrators is trying
to figure out what end goes where.
- The bigger side goes in.
- Nice. That makes sense.
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- I think I touched them a little too much
and come off like a real freak.
- I love it.
- Part of my like discomfort right now is my awareness
that my parents are going to see this later.
We didn't really talk about sex.
Now that I am an adult,
we talk about it openly, especially like I'm gay
and in a homosexual relationship.
So, my parents are surprisingly very comfortable
asking me questions or talking about my relationship.
And I think that is super impactful and powerful for teens
and people you know starting to explore their sexuality.
- I don't know exactly where my prostate and perineum are.
I am not super familiar.
(chuckles)
I'm a virgin.
(laughs)
What a great day.
- Beautiful Brandon.
(upbeat music)