all right we've reached poland europe's
uh how can i put this poland knows how
to take a hit it's like
[Music]
is that all you got i'm not even
breaking the sweaters
it's time to learn geography now by the
way this is my buddy art he's half
polish uh art do you know anything about
poland i know nothing about poland but i
know my last name means on friday
so anyway i have another polish friend
named conrad who's actually also going
to be in this episode he's polish and he
speaks polish hey that guy well uh art
you can also play poland in the skits
and stuff in this episode is that cool
yeah i guess uh all right cool anyway
hey everybody i'm your host barbs
welcome to the wolverine of europe the
polls know how to deal with calamity and
if there was ever a mutant apocalypse
you would probably want one on your team
in any case let's begin
how to piss off a polish person 101. oh
man i just visited poland i sure loved
that eastern european country it's
central central european yeah they don't
like being called eastern europe even
though i mean come on they're kind of
more on the eastern side of the
continent and it's okay okay central
central central european central the
country is located in central europe and
bordered by seven other countries keep
in mind this little guy right here is a
detached exclave of russia called
kaliningrad speaking of which we already
mentioned this in the germany episode
but poland shares an island called
uzidam or uznam with germany in this
lagoon the borders follow some natural
boundaries like rivers and mountains
however most of them were agreed upon
after war times the country is divided
into 16 voivoda ships or provinces the
capital and largest city of the country
warsaw in the center it also holds the
busiest airport warsaw international
from there the second largest city is
krakow known as the medieval capital
down south and it holds the second
largest airport john paul ii krakow
international and rounding out for third
place is the city of wuch which means
boat nearly in the center of the whole
country nonetheless the city of gdansk
holds the third largest airport gdansk
international and also the busiest
shipping port located on the baltic sea
where much of the cargo comes into the
country otherwise their entire sea
access is confined to the coastline they
do not own any distant islands in the
baltic due to the general flat landscape
making much of the north and central
parts poland is a bustling transport hub
with numerous roadways that traverse
every single corner into every
neighboring nation since joining the eu
nearly 2 billion euros have been
invested in poland's rail lines and high
speed lines are being constructed today
poland doesn't have any autonomous areas
but if we had to discuss historical and
cultural regions many people may just
refer to this general area as masuria
sometimes even historical prussia this
general area is pomerania that's right
same as the dog which is where it comes
from and the coastal area is kashubia
where the kashubians are mostly found
there's greater poland lesser poland
which at the very border has ruthenia or
red ruthenia parts of the south are
considered silesia which are inhabited
by peoples that have their own distinct
culture apart from the polish it's all
kind of confusing and we'll talk more
about it later one thing you have to
understand is that historically poland
had a lot of different types of
administrative divisions and much of it
was shaped by war sometimes they had
more land other times they had less and
for 123 years they kind of disappeared
all together here's prussia russia
austria
well actually they almost completely
disappeared i mean krakow was
technically a free city state for about
30 years and keep in mind we mentioned
this in the lithuania episode but if you
want to be incredibly technical
historically the polish lithuanian
commonwealth had some colonies way back
yeehaw when they thought one island in
the gambia as well as trinidad and
tobago would be good overseas
investments making them the only sites
that the polish had colonized outside of
europe then what happened in the end it
was too hard for them to manage and they
sold them off the end
so anyway here are some places of
interest you guys the polish geography
suggested we mentioned this episode they
have quite a few unesco heritage sites a
lot of them are like chapels the holy
mountain of cabarca the painted village
of zalipe chopin's heart this rock city
the upside down house kosciuszko mound
the carrot house the world's most narrow
house tons of cool statues and monuments
like these the world's tallest pope
statue tons of world war ii sites it's
kind of what they're known for but the
most famous one probably being the
auschwitz concentration camp of course
there are way too many churches like
these this one was where all the former
kings were coronated and of course
there's warsaw's st john's cathedral
there's a bunch of synagogues that
actually survived world war ii and
there's even a wooden mosque for the
tatar minority in khrushinani there's so
many museums and galleries here's a
bunch of notable ones and too many
castles but they're very proud of having
the world's largest medieval castle in
melbourne yeah poland does not fall
short when it comes to sights to see or
things to do or nature to explore and
that means we move on to the next
segment the
it is said that the name poland comes
from polani which means people living in
open fields poland is not all flat and
not all planes there's much more to it
than you think poland is generally
divided into five physical regions the
coast the lake lands the polish plain
the polish uplands and the mountain
regions much of poland's coast along the
baltic sea is straight until you hit the
east and you get these interesting
natural formations called spits we've
already talked about them in the
lithuanian episode but basically spits
are thin narrow sandbanks that divide
the sea from another body of water
creating saltwater lagoons the largest
one being the bay of puck the schiching
and the vestula lagoon shared with
russia's kaliningrad exclave much of the
country inland lies on the flat polish
plain part of the greater north european
plain a huge open flat segment of
central europe that extends across
multiple countries many people say that
this is both the blessing and curse of
poland because although a third of the
country is forested this one being the
largest national park and about a third
is arable making them a powerhouse
contributor to europe's agriculture
sector it did kind of make it easy for
outside forces to enter and invade with
little or no natural obstacles
barricading the interior of the country
anyway within this plane many rivers
like the nortec the vota and the longest
river the vistula meander through the
fertile valleys passing through many
important cities like warsaw in the
north side you have two massive lake
districts the pomeranian and the larger
massourine which also holds the largest
lake of the country like schneiderville
the further south you go the higher the
elevation gets until you hit the poland
uplands a little further south on the
border with the czech republic in
slovakia you find the two main and
largest mountain chains the sudets and
the best kids which form the north part
of the larger famous carpathian mountain
chain here you can also find the tallest
peak mount rese right on the border of
slovakia all right and that just about
does it now i need my triple shot of
espresso break and this time art is
going to come in to finish off the
physical geography section what do you
want me to say barbie the next thing on
the teleprompter now as you can see by
this point poland has a lot more than
just flat plains and lakes they even
have moving sand dunes in the north and
a small desert in boindoof which
literally translates to mistakes yeah
poland deserts you never think those two
would go together right oh and there's
also a crooked forest made up of trees
that bend at a 90 degree angle many
people have theories as to how it got
that way some say it's natural some say
it was a dude trying to make chairs in
any case poland is a major producer of
apple six in the world as well as being
the world's largest treacle tree called
what the heck is treacle and amber amber
exporter i don't even know amber is
either what is that petrified tree it
actually is it is whoa today though
poland's economy is now mainly driven by
the service sector and industry with
main products like machinery and cars
buses and video games being their
largest export anyway poland also has
quite a few endemic animal species like
storks eurasian lynx roe deer and they
have one of the largest populations of
the rare european bison which have you
guys ever had a bison burger i mean
that's like really good all right don't
eat those those are endangered and bears
in fact a bear once served in the polish
army and there's a statue dedicated to
him look it up gold old voy tech anyway
time to finish up with food some of the
top polish dishes you guys the polish
geogra peeps geograph that's what i call
them art suggested we mention include
things like bigosh cabbage rolls galanka
pork knuckle roasted duck served with
honey or that ball so many soups like
these but the national dish being sour
rye soup and of course the most popular
dishes many people have heard of pierogi
kielbasa cavanos and craco style sausage
and bagels yes bagels originated from
poland from the polish jews not new york
but they did move to new york
oh and of course you cannot talk about
poland without mentioning vodka some say
it was invented in poland some say the
polish just make really good vodka but
either way vodka usually takes up a huge
section in most polish grocery stores
i've seen this guy on vodka
no you haven't that was not cute whiskey
and we don't talk about that here polish
people know what they like they're
distinct people speaking of which we now
move on to
thank you art thanks can i do like one
of those special effect outros like you
know wolverine theme can i have the
claws or something like that sure yeah
go for it here okay
is it true if i kill you i become you
let's find out
oh it does work now some of you guys
have told me in poland there's kind of
like a word that sums up the polish
mindset zawatvic it means something
along the lines of accomplishing tasks
and taking care of business half of
everybody in europe has probably at one
point at least encountered a poll
they're everywhere working polish
doctors in germany polish contract
workers in london polish bus drivers in
iceland work is in their blood and it's
a huge part of who they are the
population is about 40 million however
keep in mind diaspora wise there are
about 20 million polls living abroad and
they are the second largest slavic group
after russians the country is incredibly
homogeneous with about 96 of the
population claiming to be polish which
is part of the slavic family group this
makeup is mostly due to the nazi
intervention of world war ii and soviet
relocation policies of the 20th century
that drastically changed the previously
diverse population the country has few
minority groups however of the
minorities the largest groups would be
the silesian at about 1.3 percent and
the kashubians at just under one percent
the rest is mostly made up of other
europeans like ukrainians belarusians
czechs and non-europeans they use the
polish zwati as their currency they use
the type c e and f plug outlets and they
drive on the right side of the road now
of course the main language of poland is
of course polish lots of people say
polish is like really hard to learn for
one they have seven cases of speech and
too many continents that are smashed all
together at once geography pavel says
the polish language is basically just
spoken wi-fi passwords here's conrad
with a polish tongue twister
sometimes even the polish people say
they have to polish up on their polish
otherwise poland is kind of a
sociological anomaly even though they
are slavic it's kind of like the
easternmost extent of latin influence
which explains why the majority at
around 86 identify as either catholic or
in the very least nominally catholic
varying degrees of devotion catholicism
plays a huge role in polish culture they
even have a channel dedicated to the
pope on tv politically poland is usually
a more conservative nation that holds to
its roots and even though they're part
of the eu they usually do not let anyone
tell them how they should run things in
their own country it's their home their
rules it's like alright so it's settled
uh what do you think of this proposal
for the union guys i hate it now poland
you're a key player we need you to like
this i still hate it come on poland and
don't be stubborn oh really germany you
want to come back to poland again and
tell us how to do things around here do
you remember what happened last time oh
my are you really gonna play this card
again i always will
a little exaggerated but yeah don't push
the polish they've gone through tons of
that i mean literally like a fifth of
their population died during world war
ii the majority of whom were polish jews
often in tight-knit yiddish-speaking
communities poland had one of the
highest populations of jews prior to
world war ii and at one point up to 10
they played a huge historical role in
what poland was and would be polls are
proud that they were the only european
occupied country to never collaborate
with the nazis they never officially
surrendered and all those years the
nazis were there the underground army
kept fighting polls have an incredibly
complex history i mean they had a weird
electoral monarchy thing conrad explain
so the royal elections of the polisher
demanding commonwealth became the thing
after the death of the last segalonian
on the polish throne and at his death it
was decided that there would not be a
royal dynasty that would just continue
from generation to generation that is to
say that they would elect a king from a
royal dynasty in europe but after his
death they would once again elect
another monarch instead of letting his
children take over the polish throne
thank you conrad taking all that heavy
stuff in polish people have told me
there's always kind of like this sense
of somber stoic suspicious cynical yet
productive and prudent mentality that
encapsulates the polish it's a weird
paradox when you see them because it's
like
ugh being a polish is the worst
seriously i know right i hate poor
sausages they're so gross they are and
the government is just totally wack yeah
poland is terrible
what did you
say you can't say that you're not from
here yeah well that took a little longer
than expected so uh here's hannah with
culture stuff
good to be back polish people have gone
through a lot they were pretty much
fought for and invaded over 40 times for
about 400 years nonetheless the polish
people held through those centuries and
retain their sense of identity for one
in poland it is actually just as popular
if not maybe even more to celebrate
one's name day as well as your birthday
poland has quite a high level of
tertiary educated individuals with about
80 percent of the young adult population
having enrolled in university also side
note the 35 of polish people living
abroad are referred to as polonia
there's a contest where we figure out
who is the strongest man in the world
and poland has won the most of those
contests then we have the silesian and
kashubian minorities let's let conrad
explain this one because you know it's a
little complex the salesians who live
for the most part today in upper silesia
are an ethnographic group with a
distinctive dialect of polish
internationally though it's considered
not as a nation or people though some
within the region consider themselves as
a nation which the kashubians are and
they are considered as a west slavic
people separate from the polish people
they are loyal towards poland but they
have their own recognized minority
status they have their own traditions
they have their own cuisine and they
have their own language there are even
bilingual signs which
paul will definitely put in now thank
you conrad they've also racked up quite
a few nobel peace prizes at 17. they are
front-runners of innovations and
inventions like kerosene and the
kerosene lamp the oil well the
bulletproof vest and the modern drug
test a lot of festivals can be found
year round throughout the country and in
different regions popular ones include
all saints day mayday the la cognac
festival in krakow and during christmas
you might see the creepy turon
everywhere to expound a bit more on
polish music and arts here you know is
keith or whatever
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music in poland goes way back to its
ancient slavic roots instruments
typically used include things like the
wood horn the hurdy gertie the horse
hair drum the petal accordion and the
suka what'd you call me even though he
had spent most of his time in france
chopin was born in poland his homeland
was always one of the central themes to
his often somber and melancholy
masterpieces cherished worldwide during
the polish national revival this dude
this way this dude collected varieties
of folk music for broadcast including
the most famous ones these which are
still performed to this day i know that
uh there's this guitar player named uh
jakob zachetsky
and he is
amazing thank you keith
and now the most complicated part
history and the quickest way i can
condense it slavic tribes and states in
the vestula basin pyas dynasty greater
poland christianity and tribal
unification pomerania is annexed this
dude becomes the first king feudal
disintegration mongols invade czechs
invade teutonic knights invade polish
lithuanian commonwealth swedes invade
prussians invade end of the commonwealth
constitution written napoleonic wars
kingdom of poland and free state of
krakow russian partitions in russian
poland world war one polish soviet war
independence from russia germany invades
world war ii begins communism years
independence weird west germany stuff
some other interesting things like they
got a pope and a nobel peace prize first
fully free elections they joined nato in
the eu and here we are today some people
you guys the polish geography suggested
we mentioned in this episode include all
those dukes and kings pretty much any
hero that fought with the winged hussars
copernicus although he was technically
german marie curie was actually polish
mikowirai pope john paul ii all these
athletes these directors all these
artists and musicians the dude from the
movie the pianist was a real guy these
american revolutionaries and speaking of
americans john krasinski kristen bell
steve carell and roman polanski are also
part polish apple co-founder steve
wozniak and finally of course dragosh
brenchetti
and there's a lot more i could have
mentioned but that would take way too
long there's a lot of famous polls all
over the world they've left their global
mark and speaking of global marks that
brings us to
as a central player in europe for a long
complicated history it's no surprise
poland has picked up quite an entourage
over many many years of polish existence
for one as part of the vistagrad group
the czechs and slovaks are generally
considered the close west slavic
brothers they've had very few wars and
conflicts with them they understand
their languages kind of however they
both kind of think the other sounds
funny when they talk for russians it's
more of like a people versus government
thing as people polls and russians get
along quite well on a human level it's
just the governments that often disagree
and clash poland for a while was under
the iron curtain and warsaw pact which
complicated things even more but as
crazy as things get there is always kind
of like this universal slavic
understanding which is why ukraine comes
in as a pretty close friend ukrainians
love to come to poland for work there is
also a fast-growing ukrainian community
and they kind of share a similar
post-communist struggle alliance
although they still kind of don't like
how ukrainians honor the upa which is a
whole other story poland is kind of like
germany's biggest regret that they have
to constantly be reminded of literally
every day as they are neighbors but they
are the largest economic partner for
them as well germany does have many
bilateral relations with poland it's the
21st century people have grown up and
moved on and the future looks bright
mostly between the two quick note
lithuania is like the divorced wife that
they remember having some of the best
years of their history with today when a
pole meets a lithuanian they just kind
of nod and smile understanding
everything the other is thinking without
a single word their best friend however
every pole has told me the same thing
hungary historically they've shared some
of the same monarchs heroes they've
always helped each other in times of
need there are many parks and monuments
commemorating the friendship between the
two there's even a saying in polish two
brothers both to the saber and the
bottle in conclusion let's get this to
conrad conrad what do you have to say
poland is a country that has a lot to
offer both geographically and has been
through pretty much everything
historically it's been an empire it's
been completely erased from the map and
today poland is a growing and thriving
country i'm sure that the role of poland
on the european scene will only grow
thank you conrad and thank you art for
being in this episode stay tuned
portugal is coming up next guys
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me
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