It's Rogue One. It's Rogue One. (Singing)
I'm going to see Rogue One. (Singing)
Commander, did you secure the item which I have requested?
What Item, Lord Vader?
The tickets, you imbecile!
Tickets for?
The tickets for Rogue One.
You didn't secure them?
We're in the midst of a war Lord Vader.
It would seem that I neglected to...
It would seem you are no longer capable, commander.
Excuse me, pardon me. Lord Vader escort coming through.
Coming through, excuse me. One side, please. Uh! This floor is sticky.
(Dramatic music plays)
What is the meaning of this? This isn't Rogue One. Or is it?
Lord Vader, this is just the opening short film. Rogue One hasn't started yet, don't worry.
Ah, very well then.
All right, so cleaning the floor is a pretty easy job. Just look busy if Vader comes by.
And make sure to put up the wet floor sign.
Copy that, sir!
Ok. Good Luck.
Hmmm. Impressive. Most Impressive.
Indeed, I have not seen such a good inspection since... well, since a long time.
Wait a minute, isn't there usually a wet floor sign awoawoawoawo
Oh, blast it. Oh man, I am so fired.
Who in the galaxy is playing me in this video? It's completely unrealistic.
I don't sound like that in real life. And besides that, the consequences for an unclean floor should have been much more, extreme!
(Swallows)
Please silence all cell phones and refrain from talking during the movie. Thank you.
Everyone! Did you hear that? Shut up and turn your cell phones off.
I won't have this movie ruined by your infernal texting and small talk.
(Beeping)
We just a call got about someone poking around in the B2 section of the basement.
Go check it out and report back.
Umm, OK. (Nervous)
Is there a problem? Was I unclear?
Uh, no, I totally got it.
Ok then. Go. (Annoyed)
I'm not even sure where B2 is.
I might be down here for a while.
Then she's gonna call me back asking what's taking so long. Jeez! What am I even doing?
What am I even gonna do if I find somebody down here? Oh man, oh man I'm so nervous.
(Beep)
Ahhhhh!
(Panicked breathing)
This is an Imperial stormtrooper speaking. Come out with your hands where I can see 'em. (Scared)
I mean, come out with your hands up. (Scared)
I mean, where I can see them.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Come out with your hands up.
Where I can see them.
OK.
Please don't hurt me.
(Ominous music plays)
(Beeping)
Uh.
Phew. Yeah, it's just a droid.
I'm okay.
Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.
(Ominous music plays)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Why are you screaming?
Uh, 'cause you scared me. Uh, have you seen anyone else down here?
Besides you, no.
Oh, OK. Ummm, well I guess I'm outta here then. Uh, bye. See ya.
Find anything?
Uh, no. Nothing, it's fine. Everything's fine.
Umm, excuse me, ma'am. Is it time to go home yet?
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. When is Rogue One starting?
Aahhh, yes. Finally.
(Ringtone plays)
Where is that light coming from? I'm blind.
(Frantic music plays)
We're under attack! Take cover!
ENOUGH!
(Laughs)
That's better.
Your popcorn, Lord Vader.