- You're hiding
freakin' van Goghs in a coal mine?
That's disrespectful.
And Rose would be like, "I'm gonna memorize this.
I'm memorinizing all of it."
(bold dramatic music)
Hi!
Hello.
(giggles)
I'm Tiffany Haddish,
and today, we're gonna talk about Rose Valland.
(Tiffany slurping)
She ready.
(soft accordion music) So, it's France.
October 1940
Rose Valland's Assistant Curator
at the Jeu de Paume Museum.
So she's like, "You know what I know? Art!"
Then, all of a sudden, there are boom!
Nazis everywhere!
They took over the museum like, "This our spot!
This where we gonna be at! Ah!"
(chuckling) Right?
She like, "Oh shoot, it's Germans everywhere."
And what they doing is robbing the French Jews.
And now they storing all this stolen art up in there.
And you know why? You know why?
Do you know why?
Let me tell you why.
Because Hitler was, like, a proclaimed artist,
and he tried to get into this school.
He was denied because he couldn't stay in the lines.
- [Derek] Uh-uh.
- He told his boys, "Y'all go out there,
and y'all get all the artwork.
Now, if it's German art, it's good.
But if it ain't German art, burn that shit up!"
'Cause Hitler was mad
'cause he didn't get to get into the university.
'Cause you mad you didn't get to get into school,
my (beep) wet, don't worry about it.
(laughing)
But, Rose is like the dopest spy.
They up there talking (imitates speaking German).
They didn't know she spoke German.
She like this.
Taking notes, taking notes, taking notes. Okay?
So, different people that worked
under Hitler would show up to the museum often.
Like his main man, his name was Hermann Goring, right?
Now, Hermie, you know, he's so ratchet.
He like, "Give me! That's the best!
Run me that. Run me that right there.
Ooh, that's nice!
Hey, hey, give me something to drink.
Bring me some champagne up in here
while I'm in here picking the best art."
And Rose would be like,
"I don't know why these (beep) are here. He's so lazy.
Why you even want to tell me where you stole it from?
Do you know who I am?
I'm gonna tell everybody."
She'd go get the wine, and Hermann be like,
(drink slurping) "Ah, magnifique! This is,"
oh no, wait, no, he was German, he'd be like,
(imitates speaking German) (ice rattles)
"That was delicious!"
(Derek laughing)
Wait, hold up, I'm toasted.
I'm sorry.
- How you feel?
- I feel fantastic.
(Derek chuckling)
Anyways.
They would load these pieces of art up on the train.
The Nazis was putting a lot of stuff
down in these deep, dark caves.
You're hiding stuff in caves?
You're hiding
freaking van Goghs in a coal mine?
That's disrespectful.
And Rose would be like, "I'm gonna memorize this.
I'm memorinizing all of it!"
Sounding ghetto was hell.
(both laughing)
Did you know I was Jewish?
- I didn't until tonight.
- 'Cause my father is Jewish,
but my mom was a Jehovah Witness, so I'm a Jujo.
(both laughing)
So,
it's December 1944.
James Rorimer shows up trying to holler at Rose.
"Rose, I know you know everything.
I need you to give me all the information that you have.
Where are all the treasures?"
She's like, "I don't know you like that.
Who is you?"
He's like, "I'm James Rorimer.
I'm with The Monuments Men."
Now, these was a collection of men and womens
who went out to save the existence of their culture.
Rose, she was dope.
She was like, "Boom! I got these addresses right here.
Check this out."
They would stop trains.
They would go to salt mines.
They was knocking, knocking people out.
Some people died, some people lived, but the art was saved.
She saved, like, over 60,000 pieces of culture.
She's a heroine! (soft patriotic music)
And then, finally, Rose is like,
"Go to Hermann Goring's house."
Sent them over there. Boom!
$200 million worth of treasures!
Culture!
Art!
She hooked that up.
And Hermann Goring was pissed as hell at her.
Like, "I can't believe she snitched on me.
And when she was bringing me
all these glasses of champagne."
And then Rose does the Nae Nae.
Hey! (laughing) (deep hip hop music)
But he couldn't do nothing about it
'cause now he a prisoner of war.
And Hitler killed himself.
They say.
I think he hanging out with Tupac.
(hip hop music deepens) (both laughing)
- Hello.
Today, we're gonna talk about Waties Waring.
Waties Waring was an eighth-generation Charleston guy.
He was a judge.
This was this guy's life.
"I'm in Charleston. I love it.
I make money. I have my beautiful wife.
We're rich people. Look at all our rich friends."
But he lived in this place
where segregation was the way that it was.
"I mean, we're fine with each other,
but black people go over there.
Right? That makes sense."
He and his wife started playing bridge
with this couple, the Hoffmans.
Elizabeth Hoffman, she was from Detroit.
She was incredibly smart,
and she was the life of the party.
He's never known a woman like this before
in his entire life,
and he's like, "What are you about?"
There's this thing that starts happening
where they're just flirting between bridge hands.
Like, "Elizabeth, it's your hand. You know what I mean?"
"Oh, Waties, you're so funny."
He realized he was in love with Elizabeth,
and he confronted his wife, Annie,
and he was like, "Hey, remember Elizabeth?
I'm sleeping with Elizabeth."
(belches)
Sorry, I'm getting, like, drunk now.
So, he married Elizabeth,
and they were ostracized from Charleston society.
"You're not Charleston anymore.
You're a Yankee.
You're an (beep). No one likes you."
And all they have left is each other.
And so Elizabeth starts going to Waties' court cases.
She starts going, "Oh (beep).
Maybe all these cases where the white people won,
some of the black people got screwed over, you know?"
And Waties was like, "Yeah,
but that's the way it always has been."
And she was like, "Yeah,
but black people are people, though.
And he was like, "Yeah, black people are people,
but, like, in like a different way."
And she said, "That's gross.
We're going to get dinner with some black people."
And he said,
"White people don't get dinner with black people.
And she was like, "No, but we do.
We're those kind of white people."
And he was like, "All right.
I love you, but I'm telling you right now,
it's really not normal
for white people to get dinner with black people."
I feel like (beep). (Derek chuckles)
- [Derek] Yeah, I know. - I feel like
want to throw up.
- [Derek] If you want to go throw up, you can.
We're very open-minded here.
Do you want to just get some fresh air,
take a little walk?
- Yeah, sure.
- [Derek] Okay, just a little bit,
and then we'll walk back up.
- [Dave] Sure. - [Derek] That sound good?
- [Dave] So she made her husband get dinner
with a black couple,
and it was awkward as hell.
Just like, "Hey, what'd you do today?"
And they're like, "I don't know.
Several people threatened my life."
And they were like, "Oh, that's interesting."
But then Elizabeth made Waties keep doing it.
After the second time and the third time,
it became more regular.
And it was like, "Oh, right.
We're all people, you know?"
He started to understand
that black people were incredibly subjugated.
"Maybe we need to do something
about this segregation thing, you know?"
- [Derek] This is a really good area.
- [Dave] I moved here because the last place I lived,
my friend got stabbed
while he was getting a hand job.
- [Derek] No!
- [Dave] Yeah, that happened.
- Did he (beep)?
- (sighs) I don't know. I didn't ask.
First thing he did was he integrated his courtroom.
And he was like, "No, no, no. Everybody sits together.
Black person there, white person there.
Then black person there. Then white person there.
Be friends. Quit being an (beep).
Just be friends."
Then he ruled that black teachers have to be paid
the same as white teachers.
Which is, uh, crazy.
The next really big one,
he ruled black people are now allowed to vote in primaries.
And that just, like, set Charleston on fire.
Someone threw a brick through their window one night.
The KKK burned a cross on their lawn.
It got so bad, there was a petition
that 21,000 people signed that said,
"Hey, Warings,
here's $10,000.
Take this and move anywhere."
They're like, "No, we still have work to do here. You know?"
"(beep) you!"
And then, Briggs vs. Elliott happened.
And Thurgood Marshall trying to prove
black kids are not getting the same education as white kids.
And there were three judges.
One of them was Waties Waring.
The other two were like, "Yeah, segregation is great.
Everything about this is amazing,
so who cares if they're equal?"
So they lost, and schools were not integrated in the South.
Waties is like, "Well, I'm not going down without a fight."
And he writes this 20-page dissent.
Basically, what he said was,
"Everyone in Charleston is an (beep).
You cannot be okay with the fact
that black people are separate from white people.
This is a nice town. I grew up here my entire life.
Why do we punish half our citizens?
Stop punishing them! Just be nice.
#BeNice.
You know?"
And that was it. And they moved to New York.
Man, can I just tell you guys
how happy I am to not be as throw-uppy
as I was like 45 minutes ago? (Derek chuckles)
That (beep) sucked so bad. (laughs)
It wasn't until 1954,
he seriously changed all of history.
When the Supreme Court made their decision
in a case called Brown vs. Board of Education,
they were like, "Dude, because one lonely judge
in Charleston, South Carolina says
that black kids are not getting
the same education as white kids, and he's proving it,
the entire country should be integrated."
They based their entire decision
on the fact that Waties said, "Segregation sucks."
That dude ate it for years because he believed
that black people were the same as white people,
and that he was in love with his wife.
And I think that's really incredible.
- [Derek] You seem a million times better than you did.
- Yeah, well, I threw up in the (beep) toilet.
So, that makes sense.
(laughing)
I literally just drooled on the floor.
(air rumbles)
- Hello.
My name is Paget Brewster,
and today, we're gonna talk about Eleanor Roosevelt
and the communist sniper.
- Cheers!
- (speaking Russian) - [Derek] (speaking Russian)
- Oh, I spit. Okay.
Our story begins in 1941.
It was the Second World War,
and the U.S. was fighting Japan.
And Russia was fighting the Nazis,
and Russia is suffering.
So Joseph Stalin calls Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
and he's like, "FDR, my friend,
can you (beep) help me out here?
Please?
I'm getting my ass kicked here in Russia by these Nazis."
- Nazis.
- Not Nancys.
- [Derek] I didn't say Nancys.
I said Nazis. - Oh, I thought you said.
Nazis, yeah! I misheard you.
And Franklin's like, "It's not up to me, man.
I understand what you're talking about.
It's a shit show, but I got Congress,
I got the American people.
I can't help you out right now because no one supports me."
So, Stalin's like, "Ah (beep).
Okay, I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna send someone over there. Pavlichenko.
Huge sniper. Big deal.
Highly feared, the greatest sharp shooter
in the history of mankind.
Just meet with my sniper."
So, in July of 1942,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his wife Eleanor are like,
"Oh, what's happening today in the White House?
We always have stuff to do."
And Franklin says, "Oh, Eleanor,
we got to meet with this sniper.
This is being sent from the Red Army."
And the sniper
is a 25-year-old woman
named Lyudmila Pavlichenko. (dramatic music)
- [Derek] Say it again.
- Lyudmila
Pavlichenko.
- Lyudmila.
- Pavlichenko.
- Pavlichenko!
- Pavlichenko.
- I really like you. We're friends.
(laughs) What?
- I'm just letting you finish, as a gentleman.
- You are a gentlemen.
But with just the right amount of a bastard.
(both laughing)
Shit.
Oh, no, I'm drunk.
So, she says to them, "There is no color line.
There is no male-female segregation in the Red Army.
We are a nation of people
who want to defend our motherland."
And Eleanor, who was a feminist and a human rights advocate
(beep) bad-ass, takes Franklin aside and says,
"This girl,
this tomboy, sharp-shooting,
genius
killer.
I can take her on the road,
and she will get us enough American support
to go after the Nazis."
President Franklin Roosevelt's like,
"Okay. If you think that can happen, go for it."
So they get on a train,
and they're traveling across the U.S.,
and the American press starts hearing
that a girl sniper's sent from Russia.
She does town hall meetings.
She meets with the local press.
But all they want to know is, "Why don't you wear blush?
Are you allowed to wear makeup on the front lines?"
And then a journalist tells her,
"Your uniform, the skirt's too long.
It's drab. You look fat."
And she's like, "What the (beep) are they?
I'm crawling through the mud with."
(coyotes barking)
Coyotes!
The coyote's eating the neighbor's cat.
Well, we got to wait this out, right?
So, so, it's not funny. It's a serious thing.
They finally get to Chicago halfway through their journey,
and backstage, Eleanor Roosevelt is Burgess Meredith
from "Rocky."
She's just massaging her shoulders and saying,
"Come on, you can do this.
I know they're asking stupid questions.
They're silly questions.
Don't worry about it. You can make it through.
I need you to talk to the American public
the way you've talked to me
and shame America into joining the Second Front."
So Lyudmila walks out on a Chicago stage and says,
"Gentlemen,
I am but 25 years old,
and I have killed 309 fascist occupants in my country.
This uniform I wear, that you say is ugly,
that you say makes me look fat,
this uniform has dirt on it
and the blood of my enemies on it.
And I wear it with pride.
Don't you think you've been hiding
behind my back for too long?"
And the crowd goes batshit bananas,
clapping,
and Eleanor, she's backstage like, "Yeah! Lyudmila!
I love it! Go, girl!"
Ugh. Jesus.
I got to burp. My stomach's making noise.
I'm trying to talk about World War II.
It's too much.
Okay, so Eleanor Roosevelt
and Lyudmila Pavlichenko are going from town to town,
and she's no longer a curiosity or an oddity.
She's, like, this impressive folk hero.
She's an amazing woman,
who was so young,
doing the work of dozens of men.
At 25 years old.
When I was 25,
I think I plucked off all my eyebrows
and dressed like Prince.
(Derek chuckling)
Anyway, 15 years later,
we are in a cold war with Russia.
Eleanor is in Moscow and has a political minder
that says, "You can't really talk to anyone about anything.
You're gonna eat some sablefish.
You're gonna drink some vodka.
You're gonna wear a furry hat,
showing that it's not that bad between Russia and America.
That's your job, lady."
And she's like, "Um, no.
I'm Eleanor goddamn Roosevelt,
and I'm gonna go and see my (beep) pal."
This emissary takes Eleanor Roosevelt
to Lyudmila Pavlichenko's house.
This woman, who was a national hero,
but she's living in this tiny, two-room apartment.
And Lyudmila opens the door.
"Hello, Lyudmila."
"Hello, Mrs. Roosevelt."
Like, Eleanor and Lyudmila are sitting formally
with the Russian minder,
and at a certain point,
Lyudmila makes an excuse and says,
"Oh, oh, oh, sorry, sorry. Have to leave."
And finds a way to take Eleanor
away from the Russian minder.
And she's half laughing and half crying,
and she's hugging Eleanor and saying,
"Oh, my friend.
It's so good to see you after all these years
(sniffles)
and think about all the friends we met
on our trip across the U.S."
And Eleanor is so happy to talk to her,
just saying, "Oh, Lyudmila.
We did have a great time, didn't we?"
These two incredibly powerful,
smart women saved millions of lives
by engendering the American public
into joining the war effort.
And it was such an important part of history,
but it's just two women,
happy to see each other,
and saying, "Do you remember that time we went to Chicago?"
Shit.
Ugh. Goddammit.
(sniffles) I think it's really touching.
(chuckling) Cheers.
(glasses clink)
Sorry. - Don't talk.
Oh, we got to do it again. You talked.
- What?