Oh, Gummy, what a beautiful centerpiece you make.
With your dirty sock
and used toothbrush, flies, and moldy pizza.
Get a hold of yourself, SpongeBob.
It's not so bad.
After all, it is a gift from Patrick.
[rumbling]
[squelching]
You're not Patrick.
[screaming]
[gasping]
Wow! A pie!
It's from Squidward.
"To SpongeBob..."
"well, here you go."
And that's what happened!
Twenty-five dollars? A bomb?
In the Krusty Krab?
- That's where you left it. - It's not there.
Hey, guys!
[smacking]
Thanks for the pie, Squidward!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Oh, SpongeBob.
I've got a present for you.
Present? A present? For me?
Now, now. Calm down.
I should've given this to you a long time ago.
Wow, Squidward! My very own...
restraining order.
Uh, what is that?
Perhaps my lawyers should explain.
We are the law offices of Harry, Combover, and Bald!
Specializing in restraining order, logical law,
and here to tell one Mr. SquarePants...
you've been served!
I can't stay stuck to him !
Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I tried
zappin' you back in the transporter.
Uh, yeah, good idea. Let's do it.
Well, here goes nothin'.
[whirring]
Alright, children.
Today's Timmy's birthday
and you know what that means.
Ready, Timmy?
[groaning]
[screaming]
[zapping]
Presents for me darlin' little sardine.
Here ya are.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
What is it, Daddy?
It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers
all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them.
Eh, uhh, they might be.
Wee! Oh, you shouldn't have! Yay! You shouldn't have!
I mean, Dad, you really shouldn't have.
[laughing]
I couldn't afford a present this year.
So, I got you this box.
That's what I got you!
Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes ?
I made you a present.
A present? For me?
Close your eyes and hold out your hand.
[screaming]
It's a "wet floor" sign. I made it myself.
Well, it'll do.
After all, it's free.
Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood,
I present to you a gift.
Ta-dah!
"I heart you."
Try it on, Mr. Squidward!
It's got you written all over it.
[laughing]
I wasn't sure how big to make the hole for the head,
so I used a watermelon for size.
[grunting]
Do you love it?
It's a little itchy. What's this thing made of?
Eyelashes!
Hey, Patrick.
Wouldn't it be the funniest thing
if you had taken my jellyfish net?
[laughing]
[chuckling]
No.
[laughing]
Yeah, that would be silly.
Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.
A present? What is it?
It's a Confess-A-Bear.
He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.
Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!
I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted.
My name is Confess-A-Bear!
Tell me all your secrets.
- Hey, buddy! - What?!
What do you want?!
Can't you see I'm doing something here?
[clanging]
This better be good.
You missed your surprise birthday party.
So, I just wanted to bring you a present
and some cake 'cause you missed it.
My birthday party?
I missed my birthday party?
Yeah. See?
Here's a present and your cake.
My birthday cake.
Yeah! Well, let me just get you a fork
so you can eat it.
[whimpering]
Uh, let me just hold the cake like this
so I can get you a fork.
Huh, I wonder where I put that fork.
- Oops. - That was my cake.
What is the present?
Oh yeah!
The fork!
[whimpering]
What? I'm your best friend!
You were my best friend,
you no good, jellyfishing net thief!
How could you think that?
Because you said it!
You said it was your friend SpongeBob's!
- Gift. - What?
It's my friend SpongeBob's gift!
I made you a new net.
"For SpongeBob."
You made me a new jellyfishing net?
That is so thoughtful of you.
From this moment on,
I won't ask you to buy anything for Mrs. Puff.
A few moments later.
SpongeBob! Mrs. Puff needs a new fur coat!
[gasping]
You're spending all me money!
Puffy needs a new pair of shoes!
[gasping]
You're breaking me, boy.
She needs fine jewelry!
[gasping]
Not that fine!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
How about I give you a present?
Oh, boy! I hope it's cookies!
Alright! Another hat!
No, Patrick, it's a sweater.
Huh?
With love in every stitch.
No.
Don't I get a present, Grandma?
Oh, I almost forgot.
Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them.
I knew you wouldn't mind.
Surprise!
Patrick and I chipped in
and got you a little somethin' somethin'.
Aw, guys, you shouldn't have.
A new itch board? I mean, a new snowboard?
Boy, I can't wait to scratch this down chafe mountain.
Don't you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?
Thank you very rawness, SpongeBob and Pat!
You got me such an amazing gift,
and all I got you was...
that.
Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant.
I am proficient in providing
over 250,000 creature comforts.
Would you care for a pastry?
[ticking]
[chewing]
Yum! Sweet, hot, and juicy.
SpongeBob, this is a great gift!
I have something for you.
I've been keeping it in my secret compartment.
Ching! Sparkle, sparkle.
Wow! A golden spatula!
And it's even got my name on it.
It's a gift.
A gift from a friend.
Friends give each other gifts.
Well, it's too bad you don't know Patrick Star,
because I am from the Royal Ministry,
and have a gift for him.
Oh, what is it?
[groaning]
[grunting]
[slurping]
Well, this is the worst-tasting gift ever!
That's because you're supposed to wear it,
not eat it.
I made it for you so you wouldn't feel left out when...
Santa came!
[crying]
Oh, gee, I, uh, you know I-
You're welcome.
[crying]
SpongeBob? He made me a present?
It's probably a jellyfish net,
or an old Krabby Patty, or his favorite underpants.
Present. Ha.
What? Why, it looks like a clarinet.
[sniffing]
It smells like one, too.
Handcrafted out of driftwood.
And it's even got my name on it.
What's this?
["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" playing]
Wow.
This is the greatest gift I have ever gotten.
[sniffing]
Alright! I'm Santa!
Santa!
This is the greatest gift you could've given me.
Thank you for bringing Christmas to Bikini Bottom.
I didn't bring Christmas to Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob.
You did.
I did?
Hit it, boys!
[♪ ♪]
♪ It's all about you, girl ♪
♪ On your 16th birthday ♪
♪ Pay attention to you, girl ♪
[swooning]
♪ You'll get your Very own spotlight tonight ♪
♪ ' Cause it's all about you ♪
♪ Yeah, it's all about Pearl ♪
Boy, how much is all this costing me?
Here's the receipt.
[alarm ringing]
- I ought to- - Oh, Daddy!
You got me everything I wanted.
Muah!
It's our wedding anniversary!
Oh that. Yippee.
[sobbing] You forgot!
And I got you the perfect gift!
The Krabby Patty Formula?
Muah! Muah!
How did you get it?
First, I went to the Krusty Krab.
One Krabby Patty, please.
[squishing]
[whirring]
Thank you.
Whatever.
Muah, muah, muah! What?
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
Well, you could tell me later.
You're not getting this until you get me a gift.
From your heart.
[groaning]
I don't see any present.
Oh, I have it.
It's right here in my kidney, I mean, heart.
Me, me, me, me, me, me.
♪ Oh, my Karen Oh, my Karen ♪
♪ Oh, my computer wife, Karen ♪
♪ Put down those punch cards ♪
♪ And listen to my ode ♪
Yeah! Sandy's here!
Woo! Look, Patrick! It's here! It's here!
The best Valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you!
Sure it is.
I'm telling you it's right there!
Turn around!
- Uh-uh. - Patrick, just turn around!
Turn around! Turn around!
Nuh-uh. I'm gonna say this once
and I'm not gonna say it again.
So pay attention.
I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around
for any reason, ever!
Howdy, Patrick!
Hi, Sandy!
[sputtering]
Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick!
Yay!
My Valentine!
Hey, is this solid chocolate?
Patrick, no!
[booming]