I first teach him the bench at which I refer north of India gave an analogy he said in order
to enter the big house we have to first come out of the small house and we sit for some time in
between the two and gradually the memory of the big house comes to us so you have
undertaken the initial stages of the self investigation process and the initial stages
of self investigation involve what's called a neti neti process I'm not this I'm not my thoughts I'm
not my feelings and not my sensations I'm not my perceptions in other words as you rightly said
I'm not my body or my mind but the neti neti process is only the first stage of the path of
self inquiry or self investigation it doesn't lead it's a preface to but it doesn't culminate in the
recognition of our true nature it only tells us what we are not it is necessary to see what we are
it is not enough to simply see that the rope is not a snake we have to see the
rope if investigation only takes us as far as it is not a snake then there is
still the possibility that later on we may mistake it for a stick or a shadow
or a puddle so we have to go further than just seeing it is not a snake we have to see it is a
rope we have to go further than seeing simply what I am NOT although that is a prelude we
have to see what we are in other words what we are has to see what it is it's what we are
is not something that we can know it is not something that is separate from us I don't
mean to suggest that what we are is something that is separate from that which sees it when
I say we have to see what we are I mean I have to know what I am the I that I am has to know
itself clearly you awareness it's true you are not a body or a mind you have to see that
you are awareness and that that awareness shares none of the qualities and therefore
none of the limitations of the body or mind in other words you have to see that you are not
temporary you are not finite you are inherently peaceful in other words you cannot be disturbed
and how do we how do we see clearly what we essentially are well in the exactly the same
way but we see clearly what anything essentially is if you want to know what something is you
give it your attention if you want us to know about mathematics you give your attention to
mathematics if you want to know about music you direct your attention towards music whatever you
want to deeply investigate you simply give that thing your attention and as a result
of shining the light of your attention on that object what it is gradually or suddenly becomes
clear so it's exactly the same thing here if you want to know what you essentially are you
have to give yourself your attention that is the essence of self-inquiry or prayer the the
the neti neti process I'm not this I'm not this and not this it's really just a prelude to - we
could say that it is the self inquiry aspect but this giving our attention to our self is
would be better described as itself abidance we are no longer going through a process I'm
not my thoughts I'm not my feelings I'm not my sensations I am NOT my perceptions we realized I
am only I so awareness it doesn't have to direct its knowing towards itself because it is already
standing at itself just as the Sun doesn't need to direct its light towards itself because it
illuminates itself just by being itself so it is in this self abidance that what we this is
what the Shankara meant when he said we have to sit between the two houses in the memory of the
big house gradually becomes clearer gradually in most cases occasionally suddenly but gradually
in most cases become clear so he you have to know you awareness have to become interested
in yourself that is interested in the experience of simply being aware what are the qualities if
we can call on qualities that are innate or intrinsic in simply being aware independent
of what we are aware of for instance if we if we visualize awareness like a space it's not a
space it has no dimensions but we can't think of or visualize something without dimensions
so that's consent to imagine it as a as an space an empty space so explore on the empty space of
awareness which is another way of saying explore the experience of being aware can the experience
of being aware or that space of awareness be disturbed for instance it is there anything we
could do relatively speaking to disturb the I'm not talking of the space of awareness now I mean
that the physical space of this room it's just an analogy is there anything we could do that
would disturb or agitate the physical space of this room no nothing at all same thing can the
knowing space or the knowing space like presence of awareness be disturbed by anything that takes
place in experience no well remember it this space like presence of awareness we're talking
about yourself can you ever be disturbed by anything that takes place in experience
so if that's clear to you then you have direct access to the piece of your true nature under
all circumstances is there anything that the space of this room needs from any of
the objects or people inside it does it stand to gain anything by the appearance of anyone
or anything within it or does it stand to lose anything when that personal object
leaves obviously not it is it is always in the same complete fulfilled condition
likewise that the space like presence of awareness does it stand to gain anything
or lose anything by whatever takes place in experience no that that means you what who
you essentially are is inherently fulfilled not fulfilled as a result of what does or does not
take place in experience your fulfilment your happiness is prior to experience
and therefore you need no longer look towards objects activities relationships in order to
make you happy you have direct access to peace and fulfilment in yourself so you have to see
clearly who you are to see what you are not is is a good first step I'll just go
more and more deeply into the expedient to who you really are that is the experience
of being aware or the space-like presence of awareness and its qualities will in most
cases gradually reveal themselves to you and you will find yourself at peace and fulfilled
almost all the time I say almost because I just leave a possibility we never know
what's around the corner it makes me curious though who's running this show
what the one who is running the show is the one in whom the show is taking place with which the
show is known and out of which the show is made because that is the only one the only entity if
we can call it an entity of course it's not mentally that is the only one that is present
in the show there is no other element present in the show other than consciousness so who
is running the show the only one that's present the way describe it up till now it sounds as if
my essential nature are essential nation nature is observing and not so much the
part that you described now as well the one who creates the show were you here last night
yes were you here yesterday yes yes yes and okay so you're right the reason that you say
it it appears that our true nature is just the observer of experiences because we have
only taken as I said earlier this morning we're only going to explore the first half
of these two parts we've only explored the inward-facing paths in which we separate
ourselves out from the objects of experience in order to clearly see what we are and this
only takes us halfway you're right if we were to stop there as indeed some Circle schools of
advisor and do then we would still be in duality in this case it wouldn't be the duality between
myself the body mind and everyone and everything else but he would rather be a duality between my
self-awareness and the objects of experience so we would have upgraded the duality but we would
not have dissolved it so your your right but it is valid to to spend time on this inward facing
path because it clearly establishes the presence the primacy and the nature of consciousness and
then when not just the presence and the primacy of consciousness have been established but its
nature has been recognized we then return to the objects of experience and collapse the
apparent distinction between them so I define consciousness or awareness as that in which all
experience appears that with which all experience is known and that out of which all experience is
made the inward facing path deals with the first two elements of this definition that
in which experience appears and that with which experience is known so if if we only included
these two elements there would be a separation between consciousness and its objects so in the
third element of the definition consciousness is that out of which what experience is made we
collapse the distinction between consciousness and experience or consciousness and objects
but I I want to go slowly and very experientially and to be sure that we that we take this pathway
in words or self words or bank words to discover what we essentially are and we
spend time there exploring its nature its its qualities if we can call them qualities which
means the absence of its of any objective qualities in other in other words until we
really feel not just understand but fear than essential nature the prior nature of
our self is peace and fulfilment and then we return to the objects of experience