I work at a large corporation, and every year it seems like the pride
celebrations get bigger and the employees are kind of asked to participate in
different things, or they're handing out stickers to support Pride Month. And
I just never know what to say, so most of the time I just tell them I
don't want the sticker, or "No thank you," and I'm polite, but they look offended.
And it's not that I have anything against them personally, it's
just that it's not something that I want to promote or support. I don't know if
that's horrible.
Is that horrible, Father? I certainly don't think it's horrible. I mean, I
think there's lots of people that can sympathize with that experience and
where you find yourself. You know, it's important for us to give witness to
what we believe. It's also important for us, as St. Paul would say, to say the
things that people need to hear, the things that will help them. And sometimes
that means choosing the moment where we enter into that conversation. So in the
elevator, for example, it's probably not... you're not gonna have the chance to
speak clearly about what the Church teaches and about what you believe, so in
that kind of a setting you're going to.... give a much
better witness by being charitable and polite and kind and cheerful. Which sounds
like Diana's doing. Yeah, exactly. Right. So, you know, that means that
people can't say "Oh, those Catholics, they just hate everybody because of
their narrow ideas." So, you know, you can politely decline, or maybe even just say
"Thank you," and put it in your pocket, and, you know, don't worry about it.
You know, we have to give witness, but we don't have to seek
martyrdom, right? And there will come a time when someone may put you on the
spot and say, "Well, are you gonna help with this or not?" And you'll have to
say "No, I'd rather not be involved with that." "Well, why not?" "Well, because this is
what I believe, not just for me, but for human beings, that this is
how we're made, and what we're supposed to do, and I think that what you're
asking me to do would push a contrary agenda and be a counter-witness
to what I believe is important." And then there may be consequences, right? But I
think, you know, we wait for those moments where we can have that serious
conversation; and when there isn't an opportunity for serious conversation,
just stay cheerful and charitable and do it—I think what you're doing is
handling it the right way. Okay, Diana?
Thank you! Thanks for what you guys do. Oh thank you,
you too. Thanks for what you do. I appreciate it, Diana, that's very
kind of you. It does strike me, Diana's question actually focuses on something that
that bothers me about this that's hard for me to articulate sometimes and
maybe you can just relieve me of if I have this all wrong. But it
feels like sometimes, in the name of tolerance and love, what's actually being
done is exerting social pressure. But it's not....am I right or am I wrong
about that? Oh yeah, no, I think we've gone far beyond tolerance, right?
You know, tolerance would mean, like, "I'm going to respectfully let you know that
I disagree with you, but still treat you with respect, compassion, sensitivity,
still treat you like human beings, still be polite." You know, if all people
really wanted more tolerance, then we could agree to disagree. But I think
we've gone well beyond that in terms of political and social pressure, where
people really want you to say that you're on their side or that you're
with them; and if you don't, then they'll accuse you of all sorts of nasty things,
like being a bigot or being unreasonable or being hateful, even when your
behavior and the way that you're talking to them and treating them certainly
would belie that reality.