Europeans often like to give Americans a lot of grief
for not being able to tell Slovenia from Slovakia, but Europeans,
how well do you know American geography?
How well do you know the 50 states that united to form hot-dog-land,
and what parts of the country they belong to?
And perhaps more importantly, where all the major cities are.
[Intro]
Okay so first, let’s get all the states you probably know of out of the way.
Obviously this is Florida, the big boy is Texas,
long boy on the west coast is California, northwestern boy is Washington,
which means in-betweener boy must be Oregon (extra points from me if you knew that, because that's my home state)
And out here is Alaska and Hawaii
and you know New York must be… somewhere around here
Okay let’s start in the northeast.
Starting from the top, this region comprising the states of
Maine, New Hampshire, landlocked Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut
is New England.
New York is absolutely not located here, though it is close by,
rather this region is where you’ll find Boston,
right here just above this elephant-tusk-looking thing
that people call Cape Cod.
Both Cape Cod and Boston are part of Massachusetts, this long state that goes down a bit east
of Rhode Island, which isn’t an island but has a couple large
islands.
Just to the south you have this long island, which New Yorkers call Long Island on account
of it being...
Long Island.
Why is New York relevant?
Because two of its five iconic boroughs are located right at the westernmost edge of the
island.
The city of New York City is part of the state of New York,
which here is pinched in by Connecticut and New Jersey,
but as you go north you find it borders Canada, which Pennsylvania does not
(at least if you don’t count maritime borders yeah I know),
but it does hold Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.
An interesting fact about Pennsylvania is that it’s actually landlocked,
however part of it lies on the Delaware River, which spills out into the Atlantic through
Biden-land, also known as Delaware.
Now this whole region is called the Northeast, however people sorta dispute whether it ends
with the Mason-Dixon Line or the Potomac River, putting Maryland, Delaware, and the nation’s
capital Washington DC in a limbo land between Northeast and Southeast
(or “the South” as it's more commonly known).
But a better definition might be to call this area the Mid-Atlantic.
Oh also yes, this is Washington, District of Columbia,
which is not part of Maryland or any state at all,
but is a federally-run district (as of the writing of this video,
if you are watching long after 2023 and this has since changed,
let me know how wrong I am in the comments for not being able to forsee the future).
Immediately to the south of DC is Virginia, home of the Pentagon and two of DC's airports
(can you guess what state is to the west of it?),
then to the south of that are the two Carolinas, North and South.
MrBeast, Stephen Colbert, easy difference.
Then you get Georgia, home to Atlanta, where you’ll almost certainly be connecting
if you’re flying to this general area with Delta.
Remember they have a huge rivalry with Florida, which means that it would make sense for them
to border Florida.
Which they do.
And they’re not this place because that’s Alabama,
which is back-to-back with Mississippi like a couple in a bad marriage,
like how Vermont and New Hampshire are sixty–
Also you can remember this is Mississippi because it’s right on the Mississippi River.
The Mississippi drains into the Gulf of Mexico through New Orleans in L-shaped Louisiana,
the city named after a French city in a state named after a French king.
Which one?
I dunno, there were like 37 of them.
Louisiana is also the bottom of the MIMAL man.
What’s the MIMAL man?
Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana.
Sort of looks like a guy wearing a chef's hat,
holding a pan (which is Tennessee), upon which is some good ol' Kentucky Fried…
itself.
This brings us to the Midwest, with Ohio and Indiana,
right in the heartland as America’s most average states.
I guess you can remember that Indiana's narrow like an I and Ohio's wide like an O.
Then to the north is Michigan, which sort of looks like an oven mitt,
but one that caught on fire and is losing a piece.
To the west of that is cheese-land, and to the south is Illinois,
where Chicago is located.
So if you look on election maps and see a state in what looks like the middle of nowhere
but that has a lot of electoral votes, yeah that’s because of Chicago.
But that’s not the middle of nowhere, this is the middle of nowhere.
See there’s Minnesota, and then Dakota, North and South.
South of the big heads is Nebraska, which I just remember because it has this
little notch right here.
Then there’s Kansas, which is just right in the middle.
Oh also, Mr. Beat, not MrBeast, he’s in North Carolina.
MrBeast, Mr. Beat.
Go here to randomly win a car, go here to learn about the American presidents.
Oh also most of Kansas City is actually in Missouri,
but that’s okay because much of the St. Louis metro area is shared with Illinois.
Then this is Oklahoma, the panhandle state, because…
this thing.
Alternatively you can think of it as Texas’ upside-down baseball cap.
Now we get to the part of the country that was divided and named in a rush,
probably because everyone was in a rush… for gold…
over in California.
Now Texas has a long history with Mexico, being originally part of it and all that,
so it makes sense that the state that borders both Texas and Mexico would be New Mexico
(fun fact: the only “New” state anywhere west of New York).
North of that are the two square states of Colorado and Wyoming.
Colorado is south and a bit to the east, which gives them a bit more flat land to build
the massive city that is Denver (well, massive for the area),
and Wyoming… okay well big guy is Montana, skinny guy is
Idaho, and they share Yellowstone Park with Wyoming.
The one with the bite taken out of it is Utah, the traditionally conservative Mormon state
right next to its cultural opposite Nevada, with Las Vegas at its southernmost tip, right
next to Arizona.
So if Drew Binsky ever drops by where you live,
remember Arizona is this one, right between California and New Mexico.
Now a little bit of Pacific Northwest geography for you,
there are two Vancouvers.
If you say you’re going to Vancouver, most people would assume you’re talking about
the one in Canada, more specifically in the province of British
Columbia, which despite the name is not located on Vancouver
Island.
However if you’re somewhere like Portland, Oregon, of which Vancouver, Washington is
a suburb, then you might want to add the “Washington”
or “British Columbia”, however we can also tell which one you mean
by whether you’re bringing a suitcase or if you’re slowly going crazy by the fact
that you’re going to Vancouver, Washington willingly.
Now Alaska and Hawaii should be easy to tell.
They’re usually drawn in these little boxes to the southwest
because Alaska is so big it could stretch from California to Florida at full size,
and Hawaii is closer to Kiribati than any other state
(and actually to Alaska than any other state).
But we’re not done yet, because this isn't a presidential election,
therefore I think the territories deserve a say.
These are not states, but rather territorial possessions with a significant amount of people
living there, most of whom live in Puerto Rico, right here
(don’t worry, most Americans probably wouldn’t know which one it was either).
If you start from Florida, Puerto Rico is the third island in the chain.
Cuba, Hispaniola, Puerto Rico.
Oh also you can go further east and find the Virgin Islands, British and American.
In the Pacific we also have Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and American Samoa,
all forming the “US Minor Outlying Territories” tab you check on Amazon.
So there’s the geography of the United States, plus a couple other countries I guess.
Hope that makes things a bit easier.
And if you didn’t quite get it on first glance, feel free to look through it again
using the chapter markers I put in.
Hey if it gives me more watchtime.