- This is raw!
You're trying to kill someone!
- What the (beep?)
- That's what Gordon Ramsay does!
- No!
Hello everybody, welcome back to my kitchen,
and welcome back to another vegan adventure.
Today we are going to be making something
super special for me,
because I am a New England girl.
Born and raised in Massachusetts.
We're gonna be recreating something I loved to eat
with my grandfather all the time growing up, scallops!
With king oyster mushrooms!
Some of you are thinking, yay, scallops, that's so cool,
Merle, what can't you do?
God, you are such a wizard.
Some of you may be thinking,
scallops, they're called scallops.
I was raised to call them scallops,
I really don't care you, you can call it whatever you want.
This is a king oyster mushroom,
you remember this little devil dog?
I used these when I made my vegan baby back ribs.
Super, super, super helpful when it comes to vegan cooking,
because of the texture of the stem.
Anyway, we're gonna start by taking the caps off.
We wanna go for larger oyster mushrooms
if we can help it.
If you can't find larger oyster mushrooms,
no problem, you can use the small ones too,
you're just gonna want more of them.
They'll just be baby scallops.
Now what we wanna do, is we wanna take our stems
and we're gonna slice them into about one inch thick slices.
Now we're gonna make our marinade.
I'm using a glass Tupperware container with a lid.
I would suggest you do the same,
because you're gonna wanna cover this when it's done.
And I highly recommend using glass Tupperware,
because plastic Tupperware,
A is not as good for the environment,
and B will end up taking on the flavors and smells
of any marinade or whatever you put inside of them.
So it's just better for the environment,
better for you.
These last you longer, it's a worthy investment.
No, I was not sponsored by any glass Tupperware companies.
It's just what I truly, truly believe,
deep down in my heart.
Hold on a minute, we have an intruder.
Now you gotta hello.
(Genevieve screeches) Oh!
What kind of sound was that?
You sounded like a screechy tire, little Genevieve.
Can you guess what this is?
(crickets chirping)
Yes, you're right.
And you're gonna crush it up
into these little pieces.
I love nori sheets, because they add a really delicious
seafoody, fishy flavor that you obviously don't get
from a mushroom.
For the entire recipe, you're gonna use one nori sheet,
but for this part, you're only using half of it.
So keep the other half handy,
we will be using it later.
So right now we're gonna use one to two tablespoons
of lemon juice.
I'm gonna put this in my compost bag.
Don't forget to compost.
Take you little pesky seeds out of here.
And then what we're gonna do,
is we're gonna take zest from one lemon,
which is really just the skin on the outside.
All right, we got our zest in there.
One heaping tablespoon of miso paste
for a yummy umami flavor.
I love me some miso.
Two teaspoons of sugar.
One teaspoon of salt.
Quarter cup of rice wine vinegar.
Lastly, a quarter cup of a neutral oil.
So like a canola or a vegetable oil.
And then we're just gonna whisk all that together.
I'm gonna put my hair up.
Do I look like a genie?
You know, I really don't know.
Now it's time to move our act over to the stove.
We're going to combine four cups of water
into a medium large sauce pan.
And then two tablespoons of lemon juice.
My second half of my sheet of nori.
We're gonna just break it up into small little pieces.
One tablespoon of sugar.
One teaspoon of salt.
Two teaspoons of a low-sodium soy sauce.
And then we're gonna bring this to a simmer.
So we just wanna make we stir all of this together,
so that we dissolve our sugar and salt.
All things considered,
this is a pretty easy, breezy recipe, right?
Like, this is pretty straightforward.
I like that.
One reason I think it's fantastic
to try to replace some of your seafood dishes
with vegan or plant-based options,
is because fishing equipment is actually a huge
polluter of our oceans.
Fishermen lose nets, they accidentally catch dolphins
and whales and other bycatch.
It's just something that ultimately
is having a very negative effect on our planet.
Not telling you to never eat seafood,
I wouldn't dream of it.
I wanna be liked too much.
Also it's not really my business
to tell people what they should eat
and what they shouldn't eat.
What I can do is recommend you a nice little swaparoo
that's gonna be just as good
and no one has to die.
Well, the mushroom does.
Oh God, now there's gonna be like
a mushroom organization after me.
I always was a big seafood eater.
I told you, I'm from the east coast.
We love our lobster, we love our chowder.
None of my family talks like that.
Mm, smells seaweedy.
She's coming to a nice little simmer,
so I'm gonna go ahead and add our adorable little scallops,
big and small into the water.
You will notice they are going to float, that's okay,
we can just periodically submerge them again
to make sure they're getting a nice little cook through.
And we're gonna let this cook for about four to six minutes,
or until they are soft.
These are looking about ready to go.
Now what I'm gonna do, is I'm going to use a slotted spoon.
I'm gonna transfer these little bad boys
over to my marinade.
This little boy's trying to escape me.
Get back here.
Nice work, team.
Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna pop a lid on these
and I'm gonna let these refrigerate
for about two to four hours.
Whatever you can spare.
And then we're gonna take them back out.
So I guess I'll go, like learn another language
or finish a book, or maybe I should go
try to find a Nintendo Switch.
I've been trying to buy one of those online
for God knows how long now.
The first thing we're gonna do with these
is to take them out and pat them dry with a towel.
Right now I've got a pot of water boiling,
I'm gonna make some linguini to serve these with.
Okay, and once those are patted dry,
you can take a sharp paring knife
or just a smaller knife, and make little crosshatch marks
in each one.
This will test your patience.
'Cause then once in a while
you accidentally cut through them
and that's just heartbreaking.
Don't let your heart be broken, it's not worth it,
and they're still gonna taste delicious.
It'll be okay.
And once we've got these done,
I'm gonna go ahead and take my sauce pan,
and I'm gonna put it to a medium-high heat,
and I'm gonna add two tablespoons of my neutral oil.
You know it's ready when the oil starts to shimmer.
And we're gonna do about two to three minutes
on each side of the scallop
until it's about golden brown, and crispy and delicious.
And then we can flip them over.
The importance of the crosshatch
is more important to me now than ever.
It's so that the heat evenly distributes
across the little scallops,
so that it doesn't end up just being burnt
in a big circle.
So that actually the heat goes throughout
the entire thing.
Let's get our linguini going.
We're going to add in some vegan butter
just for the last bit of it.
And you're just gonna let that kind of spread itself out
evenly throughout them until it's nice and fragrant,
and mixed in, and warmed up.
And then we get to eat.
It's like 4:30 right now,
it wouldn't be the worst thing if I had some wine.
White wine with this would be delicious.
I'm just gonna let them cool down a little bit,
and then nothing left to do but eat.
Someone's gotta do it.
It's gonna be me.
(record scratches)
All right, the moment we've all been waiting for.
It's time to try these cute little things.
Look at them!
I mean, they've got the nice little bounce to them.
They've got the beautiful sear.
They look gorgeous and adorable,
and they smell really good.
(beep)
Just kidding.
Oh my god!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That tastes damn good.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
Let's bring Aria in here and see what he thinks.
(Aria exclaims)
- Oops.
I'm trying to find more creative entrances.
Yum, yum, yum.
- So how does it smell?
Better than last time?
- It smells much better than the last time.
I will say the entire smells like beans.
The entire kitchen smells like them,
so I'm assuming beans are involved,
or you've just been farting up a storm in here.
- No!
- Yeah, I am smelling a lot of lemon.
Is that the secret ingredient?
- No.
Ready?
- Yes.
Ah!
Wow!
Okay, so scallop is what you're trying to imitate,
I'm assuming?
- Yes, and you say scallop too, not scallop.
- Yes, I love...
Well, I imagine Gordon Ramsay, you know?
Where's the scallop? (laughs)
That's a very bad impression of him.
- Do it, really instill the fear.
- This is raw!
You're trying to kill someone!
- What the (beep)?
- That's what Gordon Ramsay does!
- No!
Whatever, try the food.
- Okay, here we are.
I love pasta.
I'm pretending I'm on the Italian coast.
I'm on the Amalfi Coast, just having a little bit of pasta.
Oh, fresh scallops from the sea.
(record scratches)
Okay, I have my judgment.
Does it look like a scallop?
Yes.
Does the texture break apart like a scallop?
Yes.
Now, when I bite into it,
is the texture like a scallop?
No. - Okay.
- I'm assuming it's a mushroom.
- Yes.
- Oyster mushroom.
- It's a king oyster mushroom.
- Does it taste like a scallop?
No, because it has more flavoring.
Is it better than a scallop?
Yes.
(Merle clapping)
Yes, this tastes...
There's so much more flavor in this.
It's very good.
And the pasta is cooked to al dente perfection.
- That's right, a little under what they recommend.
I only got to have one.
- [Merle And Aria] Scallop, scallop, scallop!
- [Merle] That's fun.
(jazz music)