How could you possible date anyone?
I mean, look at you.
She must be blind.
Ooh, a limousine.
Oh, here she is.
Oh, I can just smell the money already.
Here you go, my dear, a throne befitting a queen.
Oh. Good evening, monsieur.
What might we have on the menu at this fine establishment?
Well, you should know considering the fact
that you work here, sod for brains.
Speaking of sod, why don't you get rid of this garbage?
It's starting to stink up the joint.
Don't say such a thing, Squidward!
Patty's just a little sick is all.
Wight, Wubbie-Wubbie?
I'll show you sick!
Squidward, what are you doing with my beautiful Patty?
Beautiful, huh?
How beautiful do you think this is?
[shuddering]
Stop it, Squidward!
Maybe you can't see Patty's beauty,
but to me, she's the most gorgeous creature in the sea.
[gasping]
[smooching]
Mmh, honey... What?
I wonder how the Dutchman and his new girlfriend are doing.
[Flying Dutchman] I can't do it!
She wants to marry me!
I ain't the marrying type.
[shrieking]
[screaming]
Mr. Krabs, this dinner has been so wonderful.
The coral was cooked to perfection.
[chuckling]
I don't think I could eat another bite.
Oh, I doubt that, my little shrimp boat.
[giggling]
You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs.
I mean, foot rubs between courses,
caricatures,
imported music...
[playing a jazz tune]
Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach.
Oh, what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Krabs, is--
Uh, sir, your fancy-pantsy limousine is here.
Wonderful!
Pufflily-poo, your chariot awaits!
- Well... - [whistles]
[screaming]
You'll never have to walk again, my little lobster bib.
And now, the couple will exchange their vows.
Eugene, you have everything I've ever wanted with a man:
An exoskeleton, freakishly long eyestalks,
and the secret Krabby Patty formula.
[attendees] Aww...!
Cashina, you came into my life
when I thought I'd live the rest of it alone.
You showed me once and for all
that while money can't buy you love,
it can give you love.
[attendees] Aww...!
You may now kiss the bride.
[smooching]
[cheering]
Oh, no, what about the bouquet?
Uh, one bouquet coming up, Mrs. Krabs!
Hey, Karen, guess what?!
I finally got the Krabby Patty secret formula!
How do you like me now?
[beeping]
It's genuine.
Come here, you big hunk of aquatic organism!
[smooching] I knew you could do it!
[smooching]
Just don't blow it this time.
Your gentleman caller awaits.
Hello, my dear.
I must say, you look ravishing tonight.
Oh, my, you're a tiny thing, but awfully cute.
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm in the food service business.
I'm a bit of a restaurateur.
I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
Never heard of it.
It's across the street.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It's on the back of the phone book.
Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad!
Never mind. Never mind.
I'd like to hear about you.
Well...
- Plankton! - Krabs!
- Eugene! - Mommy?
"Mommy"?
SpongeBob!
There be no such thing as opening too early, me boy.
Excuse us, miss.
Huh?
SpongeBob, who's your friend?
Mr. Krabs, this is Patricia.
Patricia, the most beautiful sound I've ever seen.
SpongeBob,
do we need any more help down at the Krusty Krab?
- No. - We do?
Great, she can start right away.
Huh?
And who are you, my Rubenesque beauty?
That's Patricia, our newest Krusty Krab employee.
Well, she sure is stunning.
Just keep your eyes on the customers, Mr. Squidward.
SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this?
Meaning of what, Mr. Krabs?
"Local Resident Watches Pole?"
No one's gonna pay to read this malarkey!
When you write these stories,
you've gotta use a little imagination, boy.
Imagination...!
Yeah!
Maybe instead of "Man Watches Pole",
you could say something like, oh...
"Man Marries Pole."
Then you can alter the photo
a little to fit the headline and, see?
Now that's a juicy story!
It's time to use my imagination!
Hey, guys, can you fix me and the wife up
a couple of Krabby Patties?
SpongeBob?
Hello, friends.
Enjoying the outside world?
What are you all doing
sitting in the middle of the floor like that?
Oh, living out the remainder of my life in safety.
If you guys were smart, you would join me.
Just sitting in your house?
Ain't you gonna get lonesome?
I won't be lonesome,
I've got all the friends I need right here.
This is Penny,
and Chip,
and say hello to Used Napkin.
No, Gary! No, Gary!
Meow...
What?!
Hmm?
Gary?
[purring]
Oh...!
[audience] Aww...!
[chuckling] My, oh, my!
Folks, I have never seen anything quite like this.
It seems Snellie, the leader, just went back to comfort Gary!
Looks like you and I are in-laws, eh, Squidward?
You still have that horse after I ordered you to get rid of it!
Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!
No, Mr. Krabs! Please, don't make me give up Mystery!
I know you think she's just a horse,
but she's more than that, I tell you.
She listens to me,
she understands everything I say
and I understand her.
She's my best friend.
[sobbing]
Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?
Squidward! Hey, Squidward!
Squidward!
Squidwardiard!
Squidward, look at my new pet!
That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
No, he isn't! Watch this!
Fetch!
How many fingers am I holding up?
[buzzes three times]
Play dead!
[bell ringing]
I wouldn't let that thing in my house
even if it was potty-trained!
[humming and buzzing]
I didn't need to see that.
Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?
[electronic music playing]
All is as it should be.
I promise never to use this net
for anything but pure sport again.
Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever.
- [buzzing] - [gasping]
Oh, No Name!
I guess I can name you now.
I'll call you... "Friend."
[chuckles nervously]
Cnidaria rex!
King Jellyfish!
[growling]
[smooching]
Kissy face!
[panting]
Hmm?
[trembling]
Kevin!
[beeping]
Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.
[romantic music playing]
[laughing]
Oh... Uh-huh...
Wait, you forgot about this pet!
Oh, that's only Wormy. He don't eat much.
Look at him, Patrick. Isn't he great?
Hey, little fella.
Coochie coochie coo coo!
Oh, look! Isn't he just precious?
Let's take him out to play.
998, 999, 1000!
Ready or not, here I come!
You found me...
[both] There you are!
[stifled laughter]
[both] Oh, he found us!
[upbeat music playing]
[upbeat music keeps playing]
[crowd chanting] Pop that bubble!
No, you can't!
He's not just a bubble, he's a Bubble Buddy!
He's my friend and I love him!
Haven't you ever had a very special friend?
[sobbing]
Nickel Buddy, I'll never spend you!
Funny Muffler...
Jerky Pal...
Boo-boo Keys...
Snake Eyes...
[together] We love you!
[crying]
So, what do you say?
[crowd chanting] Pop that bubble!
Pop that bubble! Pop that bubble!
Pop that bubble!
Let's get this over with
so I can go home and play my clarinet!
[screaming in slow-motion] No...!
[screaming continues]
[mumbling in slow-motion]
- Whoa! - [gasping]
[gasping]
Hey, don't I get a say in this?
I'll see you later, SpongeBob.
Things are getting a little weird around here.
So long.
[chuckling] Happy Leif Erikson Day!
Remember the day Sandy and I got married?
[gasping]
- What? - No!
I'm freaking out!
Mm-hm...
[playing wedding march]
Friends, we have gathered here today
to join these two hearts in the bonds of love.
SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob
as your lawfully wedded husband?
And how!
Well then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel.
You may kiss the bride.
[wedding music playing]
[smooching]
[squeaking]
[music dies down]
Boo! You stink!
Worst play I've ever seen.
And a total rip-off!
[complaining]
What has happened to the theater?
Lousy costumes.
This was a waste of time!
I didn't know this was a play.