Hi there, thank you so much for checking back.
Now this week's video has to do a little bit, it's kind of,
revisiting and adressing a topic, I guess, that a lot of you comment about and
have questions about and things that many of us deal with all the time.
And it's not just the stigma around eating disorders and what people might think,
but it's how do we manage people who are asking a lot of questions or are nosy
and we don't know them well enough or don't want to tell them about our eating disorder.
How do we manage that?
Right? Many of us feel kind of overwhelmed, like they are jumping all over us and
"aah" you don't know how to run away and how to make it stop.
Now, there are a couple of things that you can do.
The first one: change the subject!
I know that sounds ridiculous and you're thinking.. but they are asking a lot of questions.
That's a great time to bring up something else. What happened in the news?
That's a good reason to watch the news, so you have a topic to bring up. Like:
"Oh my gosh, did you hear about the Stanley Cup Finales?" Right?
They might for a second be like: "Haeh?" But if they have...topic change!
And I know we've all been in these conversations where people usually tend to talk all about themselves
and as soon you bring up something about yourself they divert the conversation about themselves..?
We've all been in those conversations, right? You can be one of those people, you switch the conversation.
Aehm. "Oh is that all you're gonna eat?! You never eat that much, I think you have an eating disorder. What is that, dididi.."
"Oh my gosh.." (you can even talk to somebody else)
"Oh my gosh Susi, did you even hear that..I was watching that.." "Glee last week" or "Grey's Anatomy" or whatever show you watch..
Tadaa new topic!
I know, that sounds a little weird, it's a little overwhelming and they really make us uncomfortable
and a lot of times we freeze up and then we don't know what to say..Just change the topic!
If you go out with a group of people and you don't know all of them that well
and you're eating potentially and you know it's gonna be kinda stressfull,
prepare yourself! Have a couple of topics in mind! A tv show that you know everybody watches,
something that happened in the news, might be big news, maybe there was a plane crash or a bomb or a fire,
I mean the news is full of bad, sad things to talk about and you can bring that up and you change the topic!
You have the power of the conversation. You don't have to answer questions they ask you, they're not your friend.
Ugh I hate when people do stuff like that, asking things that aren't their business and
especting you tell them everything. Those people are usually gossipers, too. Ugh.
So, feel free! Change the topic, divert it! You have complete power to do that.
Okay, so let's say that doesn't work or we don't have a topic and we're freezing up:
excuse yourself! Say: "Oh Im gonna go to the rest room real quick, sorry."
Excuse yourself! Get away, it's okay. You don't have to go to the bathroom,
you just kinda stand outside, take a breath. I know, for some of us going to the bathroom
could be triggering, so maybe you just step outside for a second, take a little breather.
We don't have to talk to them. Walk away. I know, then you're thinking: "Well they are just gonna
think that I have an eating disorder even worse. Then the questions are gonna get
more intense. I have to go back there, I don't wanna go back there!"
But, we go outside we do one of our breathing exercises, right?
We try to calm down, we try to bring it back to center. Then we come back.
Right? If they keep asking the questions, this is kind of the third option,
and this is really hard for a lot of us, cause I know many of you tell me
"I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings" "I don't wanna come of as abrasive" Things like that..
Get a little fiery! I, to be honest, I'm very soft and mushy sometimes, but I can be
kiiind of feisty, when people really push me, past where I wanna be pushed.
And there is nothing wrong with saying: "What are you talking about?! That's none of your business!"
or, if that's too intense, 'cause that's something that I'd say and I know that I can be a little
abrasive sometimes, when people are just really pushing me.
You can say: "What? You are asking about this here? I'm doing just fine!" And then..
Boof..change the topic! Right? There are a few little things you can say to shut them down.
Or, I mean, in worst case scenario, emergency sense, like: "Crap, that person won't leave me alone,
they keep asking questions. Aah" You can say: "What about you?" you know.. "Have you ever had
an eating disorder? Do you know anybody who has an eating disorder?"
You can just push it off onto them, it's not about you, it's about that.
And then, try to talk to somebody else. There is a lot of ways to divert attention.
But I wanna encourage you, if there is a person that is gonna ask these questions,
they are gonna crawl in and get all of the information out of you and you feel overwhelmed,
don't spend one on one time with that person! Because then there is nobody else
to try to communicate with. You can even make sure that you don't have to sit next to them.
Make sure, you're sitting next to someone who is supportive!
Hopefully, you have at least one friend or one person you can confide in, they
can help you and that can be there for you. Because I know..One of my best friends
in high school actually had an eating disorder and if anybody brought it up,
'cause it wasn't something that we talked about, I would be supportive, I would change the topic
and the subject, I'd take over.
So, that can really help, too. There are a lot of ways that we can manage this.
Don't feel off guard! Don't feel like you have to tell them anything.
You don't owe them anything! Just because they're nosy and pushy doesn't mean that
you have to tell them things that you don't wanna tell them!
And they shouldn't have control over how we feel. You don't need to get all anxious and worked up.
How rude of them! How dare they?! That's not their business, right?!
They're not that close of a friend, what the heck are they thinking?
I would never ask that of some stranger, some person that I'm on an acquaintance with. Boough!
So take control of the situation! It's okay. Change the subject, talk to somebody else,
excuse yourself for just a minute, get away, right? There is all these tools.
So maybe you even just write them down, read through them before you go out,
so you're kind of prepared. "Okay, I can try to change the subject. I watched the news
today, these two things happened, I can bring that up, I watched a tv show, I can bring that up.
I can step away, if I need to get away. I can make sure that I sit next to my best friend so that
she can help me out. I can make sure I don't sit next to that person that has asked me
and makes me uncomfortable." Right? There is all these things that we can do.
I can always talk back, I can say: "No" or "Why would I tell you anyway?" and giggle like I'm joking.
Right? There's a lot of things we can do. So use your tools!
And leave your comments! Im sure that many of you have dealt with this a gizilion times more
than you would even like to have had to deal with it and you've done something that's
either worked or not worked or you've learned something. Comment below, let us know!
We can learn from one another in so many ways!
And don't forget to subscribe to my channel, as well as check out my website: katimorton.com,
I don't know if any of you have hopped on there, but I have a free workbook available
and it has a lot of tips and tools and ways that we can begin working towards recovery and
it gives videos are available on youtube and it's just great information.
So you click on the workbook tap on my website and you can download it from there.
And let's just keep working together. Like I said, please share! This is a great learning community
for all of us full of support and understanding, no judgements!
And we're gonna continue working towards
a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Body.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community