*finger guns*
New year, new glasses, new me.
What can I say?
It is truly the end of an era.
RIP, my dudes.
I have no idea how to introduce this video.
Today,
I want to read you some weird ass messages from my business email
*unintelligible Chinese*
I love getting Chinese spam calls
Anyway, I'm sure it is not hard to guess,
but youtubers get some weird ass messages.
But perhaps, even weirder
than the Instagram DMs, the Tumblr anons, the whatever
Perhaps the weirdest of them all
is the business email.
And I think the reason why is because
It's-it's supposed to be a formal place.
My business email is full of garbage.
And today
To- I may as well get something out of it
by turning it into content
"I saw this Pinterest meme and thought of you, but surely you've already seen it."
That is all.
That- That is truly all.
They just, they sent me a Pinterest meme.
It's not even cropped
It's just a screenshot of their whole phone screen,
and the title of the email is "gay"
I mean, it's funny but don't send it to my business email.
I've gotten multiple emails asking me
To let them onto the discord server
which I don't know.
Tell me if it's not, but I feel like it's pretty clear in my videos
that the discord server is a Patreon perk.
I don't know if they just think if they ask nicely, I'll let them in anyway.
Oh, oh the MCNs
The MCNs, my dude,
they do not stop
*Hold Music Plays*
They never send one email.
It's always like they send one email and then five that are like,
"Are you getting my emails?"
Like yes, I am I just don't want to join an MCN
part of me feels like I should have just responded to say no,
and then part of me feels like
They clearly have the messaging etiquette of a fuck boy who's been ghosted on Tinder
So I don't think they would really take no for an answer.
There was one MCN that like I think
Three different people from this MCN tried contacting me.
Like, I'd ignore one, so they'd start emailing me under a different name.
This email is titled
"Hello you!- "
"I guess after watching slash listening to so many of your videos where you talk about personal stuff"
"I feel like I know you and started to imagine our life together as friends or more than friends"
"And if you're wondering if I'm a crazy stalker-"
"Nope, I couldn't even if I wanted to,"
"I live in Venezuela."
If all I know about you is your name
and the fact that you live in Venezuela,
I'm not
This is another email of that sort,
which I actually got this morning.
Except, in this one the person attached a blurry photo of their face.
Maybe don't send me a business email with only your name
And a blurry photo of your face.
This one I also got this morning and it's called
Essentially, this person is asking me to interpret a dream they had
which is in no way related to my channel.
(why are we still here)
I wanna find some of the weird...
Sketchy sponsorship offers.
"We are sneaker supplier from China and my name is blank."
"We sell good quality replica Sneak-o's on blank."
"Now, I visited your channel Strange Aeons."
Thank you, I-I Just slipped my mind, the name of my own channel
"It's very professional and attractive."
"May I know, do you have any interest in review our sneakers on your channel."
Nope
"Hello"
"Greetings from my side."
"I and my team appreciate the high quality content of your YouTube channel Strange Aeons"
Again, I just, in the few minutes since I read the last one
I forgot my own channel name again, thank you so much for reminding me.
"I want to discuss other business op-"
Oh my god. It's this one.
This one is so ominous
Okay.
"I want to discuss other business opportunity with you regarding your YouTube channel"
"As you are receiving the kudos and the fame for your work."
"It's also the time to capitalize on your work."
"Please send me your contact number"
"or we can discuss"
"here."
Yes, love the business
The business of course.
What?
this one is called
"message"
in all lowercase
very aesthetic choice
"I wanted to share a friendly message with you"
"however, if after reading the following,"
"this comes as unwanted, please simply block my communication,"
"and know that no offense has been taken on my behalf"
"Respectfully, blank,"
*sMaCK*
Someone emailed me to let me know
that a video of mine had been taken down
Thank you
I was completely unaware that I took down my own video
Welcome to another episode of please don't send this to my business email!
This person sent me a very unnecessarily long and formal explanation of what the f meme is.
months after my
the video
That one of the tumblr deep-dive videos
the rabies one I think, where I didn't
I didn't know what the F meme was and everyone was
commenting F on the post where he said he was leaving tumblr.
And I was like, Why are they all commenting F?
And all the comments were like
Teya, you idiot, it's the F meme.
So within like 10 minutes of posting that video
I was informed what the f meme was.
This person sent me an email on December 16th
Many months after that video
to inform me
In a very long message
What the f meme is.
Okay, this one
I've gotten a couple messages
of a similar genre
Let me just explain.
This one is called tumblr - inside info question mark.
And it's essentially this person
claiming
That their ex worked at Tumblr and has inside information
about all of the inner workings of Tumblr and why staff is so fucked up.
And there's no way of verifying that this is true.
I could easily just get
strung along by
catfished in a way
by
Some person with a crazy story
who's just made all of this up
And I've gotten messages before like this, too
I got like YouTube inside info emails
and I got a lot of like
i have
*bUnH
I've got, like inside info about Onison's life
it's the Internet.
People are looking to fuck around,
people- people are looking to play some jokes,
people are looking to string you along for their own entertainment.
I don't trust any of this shit
This one is spicy.
This one is called-
Interview request
"I've done interviews slash conversations with feminists, such as-"
Person and person.
I don't know who any of these people are, by the way.
"This Sunday evening I'll be doing a live stream with-" person.
I don't know who this is
um
and
"The discussion is going to be about women in the workforce."
"I'd love for you to join us."
So, um,
I don't talk about feminism in my videos.
I think the one
Video where I talk mentioned
it was my video making fun of TERFs.
..I-i-i-i
I don't publicly identify as a feminist,
I don't make feminist content or anti-feminist content
I don't think I've ever uttered the phrase "women in the work force" on my channel
So it's just like what is this?
Thanks for the business Email.
its one of those MCN fuck boys again
Nope
"Hey there. I know this is super random and I'm sure you get emails and comments like this a lot"
"But I'm not one to p-post publicly in the comments about any things that are super personal,"
"So I thought I would just email you here and say-"
No,
Please do not send me these messages.
When I would get messages like this, I used to feel so obligated to help people
who message me about personal stories or personal troubles.
The volume of messages started being so much that I
*Random Stuttering*- I physically
am unable to play therapist for every single person who messages me.
And on top of that,
if you're going through something...
you should talk to a professional if you can afford it
or talk to a close friend
Don't talk to a youtuber.
Don't-don't message a YouTuber on any social media,
and especially don't email their business email
about your personal life problems that you need help with
its
as much as I empathize and I want all my subscribers to have a happy life
I know that it's not my responsibility to answer these messages
and most likely it's just someone wanting to vent.
"Paid promotion app cooperation inquiry."
"my name is blank, and I would like to inquire"
"if you have interest in cooperating with our parental control app"
Yes, because I have great need for a parental control app,
you know with my son being
A long Furby.
I mean, I guess it would help me to keep an eye on him in case he ever gets possessed by demons
Do you think when thursday gets possessed he will?
Levitate?
Like this,
or do you think he will slither across the ground?
I've had this debate with people before
How do you think a demon-possessed long Furby would move?
Because personally I think that the levitation would be more terrifying
Next email.
See, this one I would love to read to you but I really don't think I can because there's a signature at the bottom
"Delivery notice for blank public school."
"This correspondence and any attachment is sent by a student at blank public school."
"Any unathorized use, disclosure, or distribution is prohibited and may be unlawful"
I got an email informing me about Onision's responses to my book review
"book review".
Um
Don't send this to my business email.
Even now, I get messages like hey, did you see Onision's?
Yes.
That was like a month ago it's ancient in internet time.
I've seen Onision's videos about me
I'm sorry if I'm being too mean.
I feel like maybe I'm try don't want to be too mean.
I mean a lot of these people sound,
Just- just sweet and misguided
except for the MCNs, the MCNs
Thank you ever so much for watching
Leave a comment about how much you hate my weird new glasses in my grandma shirt.
Go follow me on social media
And send me weird messages there instead of my business email.
You can follow my long Furby on Instagram, too
You can you can go follow him @theboyporridge
it's-it's really just me taking pictures of my Furby like a weird lonely person, but
We appreciate all of your business emails
and I'll see you in another video very soon my friends
*Funky Music*