J: HI I'm Joe
I: Hi I'm Ibz
J: And today we're talking about dealing with hate.
J: SO What we refer to as hating on someone and hate speech are actually two different things.
But what is the difference?
I: Firstly hate speech for example we look at things like islamaphobia, homophobia, sexism,
that is illegal and that is a direct aspect of hate because that is directly trying to
hurt someones feelings, trying to hurt someone's establishment, if someone was to say to me,
I don't like the colour of your skin, or I dont like you as an individual based on the
way you speak or the way you act, or like your feelings towards your religion, or something like that
That is obviously hate speech.
But individuals who tend to hate or bully others some maybe sometimes they don't know
that they are hating but I think when an individual - when you're making a comment or you're saying
something general and if you can see that you're putting someone down or you can see
that the person you're talking to doesn't like what you're saying then you need to realise
that that is negative hate.
If someone is saying something that puts me in a negative space and I've evaluated it
and I still feel like I can't change the way I am or I don't agree with that and that is
just intentionally trying to hurt my feelings, that is just hate.
J: That's really interesting that anyone who, like yourself is kind of broadcasting and
maybe a responsibility there that if you do feel there's like critical feedback coming
through, like thats something to be acknowledged.
Almost all young people live their lives online now, but not everyone has the same sort of
platform, so I'm thinking of you know maybe someone who's like still at school, and simply
has a normal instagram account that everybody has, just a couple of hundred followers or
something and they're getting like anonymous comments and things or maybe even comments
from people they know in school
I: Yeah
J: Like I'm wondering what the best techniques that someone like that could use?
I: As an individual you have a right to be happy.
Which is just with everyone.
And so if someone is going out of their way regardless of if it's online or offline regardless
if it's just a little comment or a big comment or if it's physical or verbal, if they are
going out their way to hurt your feelings, that needs to be addressed.
When I was being bullied I didn't ask anyone for help.
I tried to hide it as much as I could.
And I didn't tell anyone mainly because I was embarrassed.
And when it does happen to you, you don't even realise it, and it was only until year
10, so 4 years of being bullied, when I then asked a staff member "can we talk".
And I sat down every week just to talk.
That was it.
So think of an action plan that helped me address the bullies and how the school will
address bullying.
And that benefitted me a lot because it wasn't me snitching it wasn't me stressing out over -
oh my God, how do I address it face to face it was me going to a member of staff who was there
to help me who then helped me.
And ever since then, ever since I spoke to someone, and I've had social support, honestly
my life has been so much better so then.
ANd I can deal with hate a lot more better now.
J: ANd what can you do if you see someone else being hated on?
I: The first thing is to SPEAK, which is to speak up about it, you know, advise to speak
to a member of staff if it's happening at school, or speak to a trusted friend maybe,
or a parent, or just someone who's in like an authoritative figure.
STOP and think about what your following actions can do as a by-stander.
Don't thumbs up the negative comments stop retweeting it.
The third one is SUPPORT.
One thing I would advise anyone as a by-stander to anyone who receives hate is to send them
a message, "hey how are you," and I think that completely changes the tone and the mood that
the victim might be in, "hey how are you, I'm sorry what happened to you"
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Do you want to go for lunch?"
Or "do you just wanna hang out?"
I think it acts as an implicit sort of helping hand.You don't have to actually say like
"I'm sorry you were bullied every single day, I'm here to help you feel better."
Just "hey how you doing."
People are out there to help you in every aspect, be that politically, socially, people
want to help.
We have campaigns, we have organisations, charities, because there are people out there
you can confidently ask for help.
J: Ibz, thanks for coming
I: Thanks for having me!
J: And we'll see you next time!