Teachers lie to you. Yeah that's right. We lie. I lie. Lying is great. I recommend it. Yeah
um, let's look at some examples...
Do you have any eggs? I don't have any eggs. Do you have any apples? I don't have any
apples. Do you have any friends? I don't have any friends... Just joking I really don't have any.
We tell you that ANY is only used in negatives and interrogatives but this is a lie. In fact
we use ANY more commonly in affirmatives. Yeah seriously. It was all a lie. I feel terrible about
it. Please forgive me even though I will never be able to forgive myself. ANY in an affirmative
statement means "no matter which". I need a friend! Any friend! I don't care who it is,
I just need a friend! Please somebody, give me a friend! Because that is how you get friends,
they are given to you like a Twix. Tobes, uh can you get me a beer? Sure,
Bruce. Which one? I don't know, Toby. Get any one you want, right. They all taste the same,
init? All right then, I'll get the non-alcoholic one. Oh for God's sake,
Toby. Don't be stupid! We also commonly use ANY in conditional sentences and if you have
any questions about that then why don't you watch my whole playlist about conditionals?
Oh also we lie to you about conditionals as well. Yeah, we'll talk about that later on.
We teachers are very lazy and so we tell you "put WILL in front of a verb and it becomes
the future". "I go" is the present. "I will go" is the future. Wow Toby! English is so
easy. You are a great teacher. But then we start introducing conditionals and students
start making mistakes. They say things like "if it will be raining I won't play football". But
it's our fault because we've told you that WILL makes the future and "if it will be raining" is
the future. So what's the problem? We don't say IF plus WILL to talk about the future. We say
IF plus a present tense to talk about the future, right? Right. We don't say WHEN plus WILL to talk
about the future we say WHEN plus the present to talk about the future, right? Right. The reality
is every present tense can refer to the Future and when we use WILL we're not always talking
about the future. Ah. Good god! This is terrible! I want to die! I have lied to literally thousands
of people! There are thousands of people walking around right now thinking they are a genius
because "WILL means the future because Toby told me!" Well you know what? Toby was lying! There's
a video right here explaining why! Learn all about WILL! It's really really interesting!
Teachers tell you that USED TO is for past habits and past states. Teachers also tell you that WOULD
is for past habits but not for past states. And guess what? This is a lie. We can use WOULD for
past states but only if they are iterative. That means if they are repeated and not constant. But
this is difficult to explain so instead we just say "ah, WOULD! You can't use that for past
states, you idiot! What are you? A maniac!?" So I cannot say "I would love him" because this is
constant. However I can say "I would love him even more when he played his guitar". This is because
the second example is repeated and not constant. And if you want to learn even more about this,
and I'm sure you do because it's really interesting, I have a video about it right
here! Also we normally tell you that WOULD is the more formal form of USED TO and that's also not
true. In fact there is loads of research to show that we use WOULD in spoken English to talk about
past habits and past states more than we use USED TO. There's even research to show that we barely
ever use USED TO for past states and instead we use the past simple. But us teachers don't
explain that and so now you're going "I used to go to school and I used to wake up at six o'clock in
the morning and I used to have breakfast with my family and then I used to catch the bus and then
I used to sit in class and.... why am I saying used to all the time! it's annoying! There's
too many syllables when I could just say I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd". Yeah. So you should learn how
to use both USED TO and WOULD. Cool? Cool! Oh and do you know what else you should do? You
should learn to appreciate Koobz! Someone! Paula! Monica! Oh my God! Me!? No! Not you, you idiot!
Go away! Crissthian! Zagara! And Paola! These guys donated to the channel because they are incredibly
generous! Are you generous? I'm generous. I'm very generous. I make all of these videos for you for
free. And if you feel that I've helped you prepare for your Cambridge exams then please do consider
donating yourself. The links will be in the comments section and the description. Thank you.
Oh good God where to begin with the present simple.... I am guilty of this one. I have
told all of you repeatedly, like in this video here, that the present simple is simple... but
it's not. Okay okay if you are using the present simple to talk about the truth or
general habits and routines then yeah it is simple but oh my golly my baby the present
simple is so much more than a simple habit and a routine. Indeed the present simple is the past,
the future and the present all rolled into one lovely ball of present simpleness. Did you know
that we can use the present simple to talk about the past? Yeah, news articles do this all the time
in the headline. Did you know we can use the present simple to talk about actions in progress?
Yeah. Sports commentators do this all the time. In fact Coca-Cola made an entire advert about
this very use of the present simple. The link to that advert will be in the description, so watch
it. It's interesting I guess. Did you know that we can use the present simple to talk about the
future? Yeah, in time clauses like WHEN and AS SOON AS and when we're talking about scheduled
and timetabled events. Ah and there are many more uses. The present simple ain't simple. No.
Okay so we tell you that there are four conditionals and then we give you some
really simple examples such as IF plus the present simple plus SUBJECT plus WILL plus INFINITIVE and
then we say "off you go! Use your conditionals! Have fun!" And then you hear something like this:
Toby if you aren't gonna buy me a non-alcoholic beer I'm not interested, all right?! And Jesus
Christ what is that!? Is that a first conditional? Well we're talking about the real future here but
IF plus present simple plus SUBJECT plus WILL plus INFINITIVE, that's not much help here,
is it? No. Or what about this? What type of conditional is this? If I got to work late my
boss would be angry. Well that's easy! This is a second conditional, right? No. It depends on the
context. This could be a zero conditional talking about habitual past behavior. Yeah okay so what is
the point in all of this? Why am I tell telling you that us teachers lie? Well because English
is complicated and often we are employed to help you pass an exam. And so we tell you some nice
friendly lies to help you do that. But this raises the question, should we as teachers lie to you to
make your lives easier or are we going to burn in eternity for it? I don't know. I mean let's
be honest, is me telling you that you can use WOULD for states if they are iterative and not
durative going to help you pass the B2 first exam? No. Not really. No. However is me telling you
that you cannot use WOULD for past states going to confuse you at some point? Well probably, yeah....
Eventually... Perhaps making things easier for you in the short term will make things more difficult
in the long term. No, seriously, what do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. And with that
we are finished! I'm a teacher. Teachers lie and that is terrible or maybe it's not. I don't
know. I'm ignorant. If you liked the video don't forget to SMASH that like button, subscribe if you
haven't already, leave a comment down below. My name is Toby and this was SMASH English...