- Ello, governor, it's time for tea.
(vinyl record scratches)
Hello everyone, it's me, Miss Cracker,
and it is time again for High Tea,
the show where we talk about everything
that has to do with RuPaul's Drag Race U.K.
(upbeat violin music)
And today I have two wonderful guest
with me from my own city.
We have Brenda, who is a rising star
in the Brooklyn drag scene.
And of course, the living legend, Michael Musto,
who writes for New Now Next, but of course,
is the fixture in the nightlife firmament.
- Ello governor!
- Ello!
Last week, we lost a girl, Gothy Ken Doll went home.
She was a beautiful queen, but there was
a winner last week; The Vivienne.
RuPaul tells her that she can put the girls in order and--
- Like soccer team all over again?
- I love The Vivienne.
She seems to me about 65 years old, but she's probably 23.
Oh yeah, she's--
- She has a certain authority. - Yeah.
Also, she feels very confident in sorting
those girls out from top to bottom.
But there's a plot twist.
We have Scaredy Kat: She's estimated to be
the least competition, and so she gets to be
the team captain for the other team.
- I like Scaredy Kat.
- [Miss Cracker] Why?
- Every drag scene, except for whatever
scene I'm in needs fresh blood.
Scaredy Kat is what, 19?
- Yeah.
- He's not afraid to whine, he's not afraid
to project a bravado beyond his years.
- Whoop, its time for the main challenge.
RuPaul is very hip with the kids.
And she knows that Downton Abbey
is taking the world by storm right now.
So the challenge today is Downton Draggie.
Now do you guys watch, do you know about Downton Abbey?
Are you fans, what's going on?
- Yeah, I was a fan.
Big Abbey Smith fan.
- I watch it every week with my scullery mate.
I call her up from the cellar.
- It's really nice to speak with the common people yah know?
I can say from-- - That's why,
That's why I'm here with you.
- We all jumped on that one, like buz, I've got that one.
I look forward to the acting challenges,
because there's nothing better for me, personally,
that watching Michelle Visage direct people.
You can just see that Miranda Priestly disappointment--
- Oh, so, so Misner, Stanislavski, so acting school--
- Cecil B. DeMilletive.
Cecil B. DeMilletive. - Yeah!
Da, Da (Brenda murmurs)-- - [Miss Cracker] There's
a method to her acting madness.
- Yeah, but she's drawing the performance out
by zinging them, and saying--
- [Miss Cracker] Oh yeah. - Yeah.
- You know, I would slap you if I were her.
She's drawing the performance out, or trying to.
- [Miss Cracker] Right.
- That's a good coach.
- Our first group is Team Vivienne.
And The Slags, as they want to call themselves, I believe.
So what do we think about the performance?
- They're over the top, the don't know their (beep) lines.
But it's fun to watch.
- Yeah, a little bit of a train wreck.
- Oh yeah, and I think it's a
beautiful train wreck, personally.
Like at first, I have that Cracker mindset,
which I like, perfection, perfection, perfection.
I will sell this house today.
But then I was like, wait a second,
remember it is about fun.
And they seem to be having a blast, right away.
I think obviously, you have talk about Baga Chipz.
She makes these faces, she breaks the fourth wall,
and she has personality.
- She has pizzazz, she throws herself into it.
- [Miss Cracker] Yeah.
- She's not gonna win awards for subtlety.
- [Miss Cracker] Right, oh, absolutely.
- But I don't honor subtlety either.
- I think, on the whole, I think you guys agree
that this group was like a beautiful nightmare, you know.
It was just, you couldn't take your eyes away.
Next up, is team Scaredy Kat.
Now she has a fire lit under her ass,
because she's been told that she is nothing!
And now it's time for her to prove herself
to the other girls.
This is my question: Do you think
she proved herself, you know?
- I would say, A for effort.
- Okay, she was doing like a little Farrah Moan thing.
But it just stayed there.
- It was very one note.
- Right.
- It was just like Moaning Myrtle.
- That's right, oh, very that!
- I think they would've fared better if
The Vivienne's team hadn't done so well; The Slags.
- Right, everyone did a solid job.
The Maids delivered, but it was
just that that other team was full of life.
Divina Decampo, she also had that maid type character.
She had a big ole hairy mole.
Do you think that she pulled off like Baga Chipzs did?
- She played Mrs. Moo?
- [Miss Cracker] Yeah. - Yeah, she was
like the original celebrity mole.
- [Miss Cracker] Yeah. - And I think she
did a really good job. - Yeah, I thought
she had great characterization.
- And I think he's cut as a gotti.
Does that count?
- That counts. - I get points?
- It was a character choice, to be attractive.
(Miss Cracker laughs) - Attractive, sense of humor.
Not one that I made.
Now the girls have done their scenes.
It's time to put on their makeup for the runway.
The best part is never the makeup, it's always the drama.
Can we talk about some of this drama?
Sum Ting Wong basically say, that she's
not our to her parents.
- [Michael] Yeah. - I mean, her father knows
that she's gay, but they don't know about her relationship.
They don't know about her dragareer.
What do you think of this?
- I totally get it, because I'm the king of outing.
Everyone should come out, out, out, out.
And people say, "When did you tell your parents?:
I never told them.
I know, but they figured it out, they're not stupid.
- Right, and in fact, he did have the bravery
to approach it with his father.
- Yeah. - The father
didn't wanna hear it. - It's interesting
on the national stage to be like, "Here I am!"
- [Miss Cracker] Yeah! - Dad!
- [Miss Cracker] Like some 4,000,000 people
are gonna see this, and also--
hi mom. - My father.
(Miss Cracker laughs) - This is good, it's a good
form of therapy, he's being himself.
Like, the father's gonna have to come around.
And if he doesn't, Sum Ting Wong is gonna be a big star.
Who needs papa? - Right, exactly.
- Now, in the middle of this coming out story,
or not coming out story, we have some more background
on Scaredy Kat, who is sort of talking about her sexuality.
- I think she is someone is like, "This is me,
and this is who I am, and I have no labels on anything."
- [Miss Cracker] Right! - Um which is a statement.
- [Miss Cracker] Right! - In and of itself.
- [Miss Cracker] It's huge statement!
- It's a statement to not make a statement.
- [Miss Cracker] Right.
- It's great that he's just saying,
"Don't call me by a label, I'm in live with a girl,
I don't wanna be with anybody else.
- Yeah. - So that's who he is.
- Yup, I love it.
♪ I am what I am. ♪
♪ I am my own special creation. ♪
- Sip.
- No certainly, we can't stay in the makeup chairs forever.
Everyone, it is time for the runway.
And this week the theme is Bond Girl Realness.
One of the ones that really stood out
for me was Blu Hydrangea's outfit.
It just was very different from the rest.
What do you guys think?
- Yeah, I mean instead of 007 it was really 666.
- Yeah, a wrap song? - No actually,
she had three breasts.
All I could see was whole milk, soy milk, and half and half.
- What about almond milk, lactose free?
- There's just something about Blu Hydrangea.
You know, she's quiet, she tends to be
in the background a little.
But her looks are always, you're like: "That's her!"
You know, she has this kinda stamp on it.
And there's a sweetness about her.
What did you think about Baga Chipz' runway.
Which was the--
- Lazer Manila-- - Lazer Manila!
What did you think? - It's lazer with a Z.
And not laser with an S.
(Miss Cracker laughs)
I'll Google it.
I felt it was great, but felt that
she probably just does Liza Minnelli in her act.
And she worked it in like, "Oh, I'm make it a Bond Girl."
- That's what--
- Like Liza in a Bond film, can you imagine?
- Right, I can-- - Or any film now a days.
- Let's talk about Crystal.
- In that whole S and M thing, with the whip.
She's Michelle Visage.
- Yes!
I like the fact that every time she cracked her whip
all the judges flinched.
I was just looking at her, and I was like,
"Yeah, this is kinda what drag is about for me."
When you were a little bit afraid of the drag queen.
You don't know what they're gonna do next.
So I like that moment.
I was like, "I feel like I'm in the room,"
you know what I mean?
It's not all about the runways.
The girls have to act everybody.
They have to perform.
So we get a look at the edited Downton Draggie scenes.
The team that takes home the win
is Team Vivienne, Team Slag.
But the number one girl is Baga Chipz.
And honestly, I just, all the girls
broke the fourth wall, but nobody looked into my spirit
and my soul, like Baga Chipz.
So I think she deserves it.
But were there is a top, there must be at least one bottom.
In the bottom this week we have
Blu Hydrangea and Scaredy Kat.
So the girls go back to the room to discuss.
All the girls sort of dog pile onto Cheryl Hole
for being sort of like a show boater,
and also not being herself.
Is that something that you saw?
- Yeah, that was interesting.
I mean, I do see that, especially when you have
someone whose sort of just kind of
like a homogenized persona.
- [Miss Cracker] Right. - Just like a drag queen!
I felt that.
- Isn't the whole point of drag to not be yourself
- But, you have to be-- - To an extension.
- You have to be a not yourself that--
- You know it's a wig. - Stands out.
Do you know what I mean? Do you think that Cheryl Hole was
pulling things out of herself or out of like--
- I don't want her to. I want her to be like Lana Del Rey.
Just say, " I don't have a persona."
Don't criticize me for not having one!
When I think about Cheryl Hole, I see it both ways.
I see her like, putting on this big ole front
and how she's kind of taking people down with it.
But I also see how she is like, you know,
"I'm having my moment, and I'm not going to waste it
by pretending to be shy."
So it's time for the lip sync.
And to me, I think there's no way that this lip sync
will not go down in RuPaul's drag race history.
Like, Scaredy Kat has never performed as a drag queen--
- Literally. - Before, ever!
- And it doesn't show at all.
- Well, I did love her rebuttal at the end
of like, "What did she say, "The first times a charm."
or whatever, it's like-- - Yeah, exactly!
She's like, "And that was it-- - "And that was it!"
Yeah, not bad for a first gig.
I'm like-- - That was, that was--
- Yeah, what did you think of it?
- I mean she, you know, she had
some good recapitulations, you know, like the mountain--
- Yeah. - Whatever.
- Yeah.
- It's called motif.
- It was Yahoo themes.
Yeah, for sure.
We (Michael murmurs)
I mean, you could just tell, that yeah,
it was kind of a little messy and a little ameturey.
- Right.
- It was totally tragic too.
Now let's face it. - Yeah.
It was enduring. - And even Blu Hydrangea
had a little problem with 'cause
all she went with, the song by the way is,
"I'm Your Penus," by Bananarama.
"I Your Venus." - Hashtag desire, yeah.
- Yeah and she kind of never went
with a lascivious approach,
which funny for the first eight hours.
- It's called sensual.
Stop yucking my yum.
- Sex is dirty to me.
- Those of you got checked. - I grew up in a lot of shame.
Hashtag shame, a lot of it. - Talk about
the Queen's English; this queen just said lascivious.
It means, like nasty, sexy, like hashtag nasty girl--
- Excuse me, she was doing. (Michael moans and groans)
- Oh yeah, she was, she really, yeah.
She was doing a lot of-- - It wasn't sensual.
- I'm sorry, one more time. (Michael moans and groans)
- Yeah, got it? - And someone make
you do a close-up now.
- Did you get that, Bill?
(Miss Cracker laughs)
- But she definitely excelled over Scaredy Kat.
- I think Scaredy Kat gave her all,
and I think, yes, it was a first gig for her.
And it was great first gig.
But,
bye bitch! No, but at the end of the day,
at the end of the day, somebody has to go home.
And Scaredy Kat, though it was great first gig,
must sashay away.
Who do you see taking the crown?
Who do you think is a front runner?
- I think I have a soft spot in my heart for Crystal.
She's really delivering looks, and fashion,
and glamor, and she's really like,
I mean she made her look this past week.
And it looked incredible. - And which, by the way,
rare, for queens to make things.
- I like Divina. - Mm hm.
- I liked her Madame X, Madonna look with the eye patch.
She has a great look, and she has great verve.
- Now, before we go, it is a tradition in this house
to study the Queen's English.
Now the word of the week is slag.
- I could just point to several people in this room.
But instead I'll describe it.
It's just a skank. - Yeah!
- Somebody who walks like they've had--
- Where you're pointing a finger at yourself, Michael.
- At all times, they walk as if
they've just had intercourse. (Miss Cracker laughs loudly)
- What a way of putting it.
They make a slight like, galosh, squishing sound
as they-- - Sauntering away from trade.
- Sauntering away from trade.
My new book, available next week.
- Without paying.
- Thank you so much for being here, Michael Musto.
- Cheers big ears! - You are my North Star.
- Oh. - Thank you.
(Michael murmurs) And Brenda, you are
a rising star, thank you for coming and joining me.
Lending your light.
Now I heard from these two assholes,
but I really want to hear from you!
Make sure to tweet towards me.
Find us at @logotv, and remember to hashtag dragrace U.K.
That's hastag dragrace U.K.
Watch the show every week on Logo at 8:00, 7:00 central.
But then, don't leave me out.
Come and join me again for anther episode
of High Tea!
Cheerio!
Shablam!
And there you go!
Let's take a shot every time Cheryl Hole.
Wonderful!
Those are yours, you can Saran Wrap those.
(Miss Cracker laughs loudly and claps)