- I'm Nash Ricky, I feel grateful and blessed
by my Lord and savior Jesus Christ
to be hitting the road with my sound man
and sober buddy, Jonesie,
as we reunite my band Sloppy Secondz.
(rock music)
And also find love.
Sponsored by the good people at Stamps,
the rock stars of the postal industry.
(rock music continues)
♪ When the party's is breaking up ♪
♪ And the clubs are closing down ♪
♪ And the city of angels sleeps ♪
♪ There's only one place in town ♪
♪ Me and the boys will be found ♪
♪ Gotta jones for some savory meats ♪
♪ Canter's rocks some noshes ♪
♪ Down in Hollywood ♪
♪ But I love my Jerry's valley dolls ♪
♪ And my baby gets a thrill ♪
♪ For an Langer's kosher dill ♪
♪ And she'll cream for Greenblatt's matzo balls ♪
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ Where the after partys raging in my LA town ♪
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ The pastrami's piling high while you're coming down ♪
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ Eating corn beef and eggs 'til the break of dawn ♪
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ You don't have to be a Jew ♪
♪ To get your rock n roll kibitz on ♪
This is Nash Ricky's Rock n' Reunion.
Sponsored by Stamps.
I haven't seen original bassmen, Stud Cardoni,
since our band fell apart due to my own personal demons.
I couldn't handle the moderate success of our party hit,
LA Deli.
♪ LA deli ♪
I'm going to find him.
So it's six in the morning, we got here a few hours early.
Ever since I got sober, time management is an issue for me.
Well, this was ill timed, wasn't it, Jonesie?
These are the struggles that I face every day
that I try to overcome.
With God on my side
and my good friend Jonesie anything is possible
but it's still very frustrating.
- Wait, so a guy asked me to go on
date on Saturday. - Who's this guy?
- His name's Robert.
He plays- - Hey, whoa, what?
- Well, well, well, if it isn't Stud Cardoni.
♪ LA deli ♪
- I go by Anthony now, okay?
And I don't have any money to give you our-
- I don't need your money, friend.
Didn't you get my stamped letter?
I'm getting Sloppy SecondZ back together.
- No, it's it's Tuesday and I have to take my daughter
to school and now I'm going to work.
- The only work you have to do is to slap the bass
in the best G-damn band in the world.
♪ Deli ♪
I have to make amends for a lot of things.
I'm sober now and ask for your forgiveness.
- Nash, your van is blocking my driveway.
So I'm sorry.
- Let me give your daughter a ride to school
and we can talk on the way.
♪ Shot gun, yeah ♪
I had no intention of dropping her off at school.
My boy Stud Cardoni was in.
Next stop, Venice beach.
♪ LA deli ♪
We drove down to Venice beach to find drummer,
Spit DeCreaux.
One of the wild men of rock.
(rock guitar plays)
Sick sticks, Spit DeCreaux
- Crack attack is back, Jack.
♪ LA deli ♪
- You have no idea who I am.
- No idea, friend.
- It's Nash Ricky
♪ LA deli ♪
- Whoa, I guess you are Nash Ricky.
- So, Spit, you selling stuff to animals at the beach now?
- No, I'm hanging out at the beach
with some of my best friends.
Purple whale, little dinosaur, Lawrence of ababia.
- Look, Spit, I don't have a lot of time.
We're getting a rockin' reunion going.
I'm getting all of Sloppy Secondz back together.
I need you in.
- Oh, I don't know, man.
That ship has sailed.
- I've been trying to get in touch with you.
Didn't you get my letter?
- Ah, I don't have an address.
Did you email it?
- No, I don't use email.
Spam filters, invalid 404 errors,
no confirmation that somebody's received your note,
I like the personal touch of a handwritten letter.
The font is your own,
nothing can beat a stamp and a letter.
- The United States Postal Service is obsolete,
Nash Ricky.
Everybody knows it.
- You're speaking nonsense, Spit.
- It's possible.
I fried my brain on crack cocaine.
- Those days are behind us.
So I gotta know, Spit DeCreaux, are you in?
(Spit vomits)
I'll take that as a yes.
- Ah.
- Spit was in, and I was two for two.
Next step, San Diego.
(gentle piano music)
Our trip all over Southern California
brought us to San Diego.
We had to pay our respects to our beloved keyboardist,
James St. James.
He lived too hard, but he will never be forgotten.
♪ LA deli ♪
I never meant for Sloppy Secondz to be a dictatorship.
Return to sender you goddamn saint.
James was in, but I haven't had much luck
finding love so far.
Dylan and I wanted to talk to you real quick
and let you know that even though there's clearly
an attraction, we can never be together physically.
- Ew gross, you're old.
- And I know that's attractive to young women
but we're not on Sam Hagar's cigarette boat.
- Can I please go to school now?
- Hey, Nash. - Yeah.
- You're not trying to do
what I think you're trying to do , right?
- No, those days are gone, but she is a siren.
- Thank you, she is attractive.
You hear that?
He thinks you're pretty, sweetie.
- Everyone else is back in.
Now it's time for the final piece of the puzzle
but it's the new eclipse me in my own band,
guitarist Mikki Lixxx.
- What's up?
♪ The pastrami's piling high while you're coming down ♪
- I should have never bitten your fiance's pinky off
and for that I'm sorry.
- Listen, Nash.
I'm kind of way too rich now
off of all my terrible music to care
- I'm leaving now.
- No, sweetheart, we're close, okay?
Hey, this is important to daddy.
- What could I do for you?
- Well, didn't you get my stamped letter?
- No I don't.
I haven't opened a, I haven't opened letter since 1990.
- The postal system is one of the cornerstones
of American communication.
People need to check their mail.
- You know, I'm starting to feel some in energy here,
this like vibe.
We haven't all been in a room like this since-
- Well, that's why I brought all of-
- I mean, and maybe I'm insane to think
that you can catch lightning in a bottle twice.
But if there is anyone who can make lightning
their bitch it's this gang of cock and balls.
Idea bomb.
Let's reunite.
- Yes! - Yes!
- That's what I've been saying.
- I am 100% in, bro. - Yes!
♪ I'm gonna ride that winged beauty ♪
♪ My lover and my cutie on home ♪
- I gotta use your john.
♪ Feels like it's over girl ♪
♪ Lights went out and ended my world with you ♪
- Well, well, well friend
looks like it's just me and you Nash Ricky.
And I'm not gonna be coy with you,
I've abused your body, your mind and your spirit
but I need you to listen to me right now
and listen good.
I've gotten everybody in this bend back together
and it all comes down to you.
I got one piece of advice for you, Nash,
this is the best thing for you.
You need to be on your own.
And I'm sorry to you, Stamps,
you've kept America connected for over 150 years
and I've let you down.
And for that, I am divinely sorry.
After some serious soul searching,
I realized I could not participate
in the reunion of my own band.
And even though I didn't get the band back together,
I did find love.
It came to my own front door,
six days a week.
♪ LA deli ♪
(rock music)
I'm Nash Ricky, a rock n roll legend
who lost his top 40 virginity with my smash hit "LA Deli".
♪ LA deli ♪
Today I'm going to pick a fight with a bully.
Today's bully victim is a sweet 15 year old angel
with the name of Denise.
Let's meet her.
- My name is Denise.
I'm about to turn 15 years old.
One of my passions in life is singing songs.
♪ Take me all the way. ♪
There's this girl, Britney,
and she's a karaoke bully because she often steals the mic
and she pushes him too many songs to this system.
Can I pleases have the microphone?
Can you please give it back?
I need help to take the microphone back
so that I can sing my own songs.
- I met with sweet Denise before her birthday party
to find out more about her bully.
- Well, basically I've been dealing with this girl,
Britney, in my class.
- Watch out Britney, I'm coming for you.
I'm gonna decimate this girl Britney,
and let me tell you,
I'm not a stranger to the fist of a woman.
- Listen, all I want to happen is for Britney
to be told that she can't take other people's
karaoke times.
A lot of girls in my class are having karaoke parties-
- As I listened to sweet Denise,
I realized that the show was not karate bullies
but instead karaoke bullies,
which would make more sense with my history of singing.
- This is not karate bullies
because I've had enough of that.
- This karaoke bullies show? - Yes.
I thought the show was karate bullies
and now you're telling it's
karaoke bullies? - Yes.
Well, well, well, the plans have changed.
I was dressed up in a karate outfit.
I will now disguise myself as a tone deaf businessman.
No one would expect
that underneath this square businessman suit,
the Nash Ricky, a lion, ready to pounce.
Hi-ya.
To pull this all off,
I'm gonna have to turn to a higher power,
music itself.
Denise's birthday is in full swing
but it is also under attack
by 15 year old bully named Britney.
- I'm Denise.
I'm just Denise obviously.
But, so there's that.
Secondly, I'd like to say, thank you.
Please obey the list.
- My disguise is almost complete.
Britney has no idea
that she's about to get her face melted off
with an insane karaoke version
of "LA Deli"
♪ LA deli ♪
Sung by none other than Nash Ricky.
♪ Some people like to see me do my thing ♪
♪ Some people like to see me- ♪
♪ Move around ♪
(dramatic music)
♪ Some people like to see me do my thing ♪
- A lot of people like to see me move around
and I chose the song.
Can I sing?
Britney, can I sing please?
- I must protect my sweet little Denise.
And as I slurp Britney up, I can taste her blood now.
I did not anticipate that a grown man
dressed in a business suit at a child's birthday party
would stick out like a sore thumb,
which I'm all too familiar with,
after an injury I sustained
trying to impress a Thai boy-girl many years ago.
Cut the song, cut the song.
Britney, this one is dedicated to you from Denise.
Because the karaoke bully is about to be humbled.
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ Where the after party's hanging in my LA town. ♪
- I don't like rock music,
I think it's pretty scary.
I get scared of all those rock people.
- You've just been karaoke bullied.
- What? - I am none other than
rock legend Nash Ricky. - Nash?
Helen, is this your daughter? - Yeah.
- Britney, I'm your father.
- Mom?
- I never imagined I would run into
my illegitimate long lost daughter, Britney,
let alone shame her and bully her in public.
- I thought I'd feel really good
when Britney got her comeuppance,
but I actually felt kind of bad.
She got embarrassed and she found out that her dad
was Rocky Nashi.
- Building relationship with my daughter will take time
and trust, two things that in short supply.
♪ Ottawanna go to bed ♪
I'll do it myself, I've got it.
Earlier this evening
I got a call about bad blood at a karaoke rehearsal dinner.
- As Murph's best man, I gotta watch his back.
So I preemptively called the karaoke bully hotline.
- To fully blend in
so that I could ambush the karaoke bully,
I needed to get into a disguise.
Tattered rose crown of thorns.
If it makes me look like Jesus Christ, so be it.
There you go.
(rock music)
♪ Baby don't you wanna ♪
♪ Grab some tastykakes ♪
♪ Load up the camper and go ♪
♪ Going up to the Pochonos ♪
- Seems to be a karaoke party
where the comradery is running free.
I'm beginning to wonder, am I being pranked
like Jesus was pranked by the Romans in Bethlehem?
Will the bully ever show his face?
♪ Do wap wap ♪
♪ Could it be paradise ♪
♪ Is just a hour drive away ♪
Yes, the bully shows his cowardly face.
♪ Coming back to the Poconos ♪
- I'm taking over this shit,
nobody's allowed on stage anymore.
(dramatic music)
- I guess it's time for me to resurrect "LA Deli"
and take this bully down.
Let's go
- Hey, dude, what's up?
♪ When the party's breaking up ♪
♪ And the clubs are closing down ♪
♪ And the city of angels sleeps ♪
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ Where the party's always raging in my LA town ♪
- I guess this bully was too strong.
I was ambushed but that oftentimes happens to heroes,
heroes and martys.
♪ I'm gonna ride that winged beauty ♪
- Dude, all credit where credits due, rocked that dude.
Water under the bride?
Water under the bridge.
- Let's get black out drunk. - Let's do it!
- Where's the producer?
There are no keys in the car.
(rock music)
- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
your on the field entertainer,
making sure you enjoy every moment of the game,
rock and roll's Nash Ricky.
♪ Time out we got our balls in this game ♪
♪ We gotta keep this party rocking like a party of trains. ♪
♪ We gotta rock it all night ♪
♪ And nothing's gonna stop us ♪
♪ Got a- ♪
(whistle blows)
- Thank you.
- [Announcer] Number 77.
Third and six for 45.
Injury stopage.
This is an official timeout.
♪ Injury on the field ♪
♪ But that ain't no reason for the party to yield ♪
♪ Injury on the field ♪
♪ But everybody's gonna keep on rocking roll ♪
(whistle blows)
- Thank you.
(whistle blows)
- [Announcer] Time out Santa Fe.
That is Santa Fe's third and final time out.
♪ You got me twisting and turning ♪
♪ Icing the kicker ♪
♪ I want to blow him away ♪
♪ To avoid your demon spell ♪
♪ All right. ♪
- [Announcer] Fourth and three from the 35.
(whistle blows) (rock guitar)
What a shame.
- I love Jesus Christ.
I love football.
I love singing, and I love motivating crowds,
and I love- (horn blasts)
and so just to be here with all those things
that I love is, I'm living my dream every day,
four years sober and just doing it every day,
and oh gosh, I love the internet.
♪ LA deli ♪
♪ Where the after party's raging in my LA town ♪
♪ LA deli ♪